The Dark Seeker Saga: A Hand to Hold
by Nexanda77
Summary: Ven is awake and confused. With no idea where he is, how he got there, or why he woke up with the body of a twenty-five year old, he does the only thing he can do: he starts heading down the endless white staircases. But soon he will discover he is not as alone as he first thought. Zactus Terraqua AkuRoku (Part 3 in Series)
1. Awakening

(Full Summary)

 _Ven is awake and confused. With no idea where he is, how he got there, or why he woke up with the body of a twenty-five year old, he does the only thing he can do: he starts heading down the endless white staircases. But soon he will discover he is not as alone as he first thought._

 _Aqua is isolated and lost. She longs to find a way back home, but after so long in the Realm of Darkness it seems she will never find a way out. Will the man wandering the same dark paths as her be able to give her back some of her lost hope or will she lose to the despair?_

 _Roxas is distant and quiet. Returning Ven's heart turned him into a true Nobody and, as everyone knows, Nobodies can't feel. Still, when Axel is close to him he notices a strange sensation in the empty spot in his chest. Maybe if he could just remember anything before waking up on Destiny Islands he would understand what it is and why Axel is always looking at him so sadly._

 _The third installment of the Dark Seeker Saga will bring our heroes to their limits. With so much darkness circling them, will they find the strength to rise above or will they lose faith in the light? This is a story of internal battles, of memories lost and returned, of friends reunited, and love defying all odds. The road won't be easy, but even the toughest obstacles can be conquered when there is A Hand To Hold._

* * *

 **Welcome one and all to the third installment of** _ **The Dark Seeker Saga**_ **. All of you who have read the first two fics in the series are probably skipping this bolded author's note completely because you just want to know what happens with the little cliffhanger I left you on last time. That's okay, I'll be talking about the important stuff at the bottom.**

 **For those of you who have no idea what cliffhanger I'm talking about I would highly recommend reading the first two fics in the series before reading this one. Seriously, you will be so lost if you start with this one. However, if you insist on reading them out of order here is the briefest possible summary of** _ **Those Seeking Answers**_ **. (A summary of** _ **MEKA**_ **is available in the first chapter of** _ **Those Seeking Answers**_ **if you would like a refresher on that)**

 _ **TSA - Sora wants to find Terra, Aqua, Ven, and Master Eraqus. Runs away from his home in Traverse Town on stolen Gummi ship. Learns about his friends from Master Yen Sid where he is joined by Donald and Goofy who are looking for King Mickey. They team up with Zack to find Ven's lost heart.**_

 _ **Ansem Seeker of Darkness attacks Riku and Kairi in Traverse Town, kidnapping Kairi and sending Riku to Hollow Bastion where he also teams up with Zack.**_

 _ **Sora saves Tay from Hades at the Coliseum. Riku and Zack figure out Sora has Ven's heart. Ansem continues to kidnap princesses.**_

 _ **Riku fails to stop Ansem from taking Cinderella and finds out he has the power of darkness in him. Meets up with Sora in Agrabah and tells him about Kairi's kidnapping and Ven's heart.**_

 _ **Kairi and the other princesses attempt a breakout, but are stopped by Ansem who takes their hearts to form the keyblade of heart. Kairi's heart gets away and goes to Sora.**_

 _ **Sora, Riku, Donald, Goofy, and Zack sneak into Ansem's castle to save the princesses.**_

 _ **Get separated when Riku and Zack are sucked into the computer there. They fight their way out of Space Paranoids to find Sora, Donald, and Goofy have run off to find Kairi.**_

 _ **Sora faces Ansem alone and loses. Kairi's heart returns to her and Sora disappears. The others save the princesses.**_

 _ **Later, they are confronted by a Behemoth heartless. Kairi hugs heartless and it turns into Sora. Fight and defeat Ansem.**_

 _ **All but Zack return home to Traverse Town.**_

 _ **Meanwhile, Roxas is formed after Sora is turned into a heartless. He is forced to join Organization XIII where he meets Axel, Zexion, and Demyx who are planning to take the Organization down from the inside.**_

 _ **Missions and stuff and musings on if Nobodies can have feelings.**_

 _ **Axel gets sent to Castle Oblivion to search for Ven's body (though he doesn't know that's what he's after at the time). Marluxia, Vexen, Larxene, and Zexion are also sent to C.O. to watch Sora who is lured there by Xemnas along with Donald, Goofy, Riku, and Kairi.**_

 _ **Axel returns. He and Roxas run into Zack who learned from Namine that Roxas is the one who now holds Ven's heart. Zack gives Roxas Ven's old pin and it sparks memories. Later, Roxas passes out on a mission due to the memories and back at the castle Axel touches Roxas' chest to find he does indeed have a heart.**_

 _ **Roxas insists on finding Ven's body and Axel gives in, taking him to the 13th floor at C.O. Roxas breaks the spell there but before he can go to Ven, Rexick appears and they fight.**_

 _ **Same time, Sora and his gang work their way through the first two floors at C.O. and are then met with Vexen who tells them Sora is no longer of interest to the Organization. Fight. Win.**_

 _ **Roxas and Axel defeat Rexick and Roxas goes to save Ven. Thinking he is about to die, Roxas kisses Axel and then stabs himself, releasing Ven's heart.**_

 _ **Roxas, however, doesn't die and Axel takes Roxas through the dark corridor to Destiny Islands as Ven begins to wake up. Just when Ven opens his eyes, the evil authoress (that would be me) ended**_ _ **Those Seeking Answers**_ _**and made all her lovely and patient readers wait until now to find out what happens next…**_

Chapter 1 _Awakening_

Sitting at the center of the stained glass platform of his heart, Ven stares up into the darkness. He isn't sure how long he has been sitting there, waiting, but something is coming now. He is sure of it.

Underneath him, the glass platform tilts and the emptiness around him rumbles ominously. Caught off guard, Ven starts to slide and his hands scramble to find a hold on the smooth glass. The image underneath him flashes past him as he picks up speed - himself and Vanitas facing eachother, eyes closed, keyblades resting uncrossed. Hurtling towards the edge, it's Vanitas' name he shouts into the darkness.

Vanitas had been with him on the platform once, but he'd vanished into Ven long ago. No one is there to help him.

Ven's legs slide off the platform and his torso follows, but he manages to hold onto the edge with his fingertips. Looking down, he tries to see what lies below, but there is just too much darkness.

Another rumble echoes and Ven clenches his already strained fingers harder. The platform tilts again and any grip he once had is gone. The light of his platform disappears and the darkness surrounds him. It moves over his skin like water, dragging him down and making him fall faster. Or is he ascending? And the water is pushing him up?

With the sensation of breaking the surface, white light replaces the dark and the crushing water turns into air.

…

The only word that describes how Ven feels is heavy.

Every part of him feels weighed down.

With a groan, he forces his heavy eyelids open and blinks hard at the bright white room around him. To his right there is a black and red blur, but his eyes still blurry from sleep can't make out what's there. He rubs his eye with a heavy hand, but when he looks again, there is nothing there.

His hand drops back down onto the armrest of the throne like chair he is sitting in and something clinks under his fingers. After a clumsy try or two he manages to pick it up and look at it closer.

For a moment, he doesn't recognize the small, round pin. The bright colors have been rubbed off and the letters have faded, but at the right angle it is still readable. _Sexy-D._ It's his pin, the one he gave back to Zack as his boyfriend lay half dead after Vanitas' attack.

Ven almost falls trying to get up from his chair so fast.

"Zack?" He calls out tries to call out, but what comes out is a hoarse whisper and holds onto the chair to stay upright as he coughs. Tears gather in the corner of his eyes at pain in his dry throat. Getting his breath back, he tries again. "Zack?" He manages to call out without coughing, but still too hoarse to be heard from more than a few feet away.

Zack isn't in the room he'd woken up in. He's completely alone. But there is an open door leading out to another white room. Maybe Zack's there.

With the pin held tightly in his hand he starts to walk towards the door, a bit unsteady on his feet, but he doesn't care. He's so set on figuring out where Zack had gone that he would have tripped over the keyblade on the ground if he hadn't happened to look down at the last second.

Frowning, Ven stoops down to pick up his own Wayward Wind keyblade and notices the silver charm on the ground close by. He picks up the charm first and runs his thumb along the etching of the Mark of Mastery symbol. It's the keychain from Master Eraqus' keyblade and once again, Ven looks around the room. "Master Eraqus?"

Nothing is making sense. Where is everyone? Why had they left him here all alone? The last thing he remembers is the Keyblade Graveyard and shattering the X-blade. He'd been ready to die to protect Kingdom Hearts and he can't help but ask aloud, "Am I dead?"

The lack of response from the silent room doesn't make him feel any better.

This isn't how he'd envisioned death would be like though. He thought it would be more like sleep. More peaceful, less confusion.

He tucks Master Eraqus keychain in his pocket along with Zack's pin, deciding he just doesn't know. Life, death, or a figment of his imagination, he really can't say. But if he carries on and sees what lies beyond this room, maybe he'll find someone who can tell him if this is real or not.

Reaching out and picking up his keyblade, he finds his shoulders straining against the seams of his jacket. Ven lets his keyblade disappear and straightens up, tensing and relaxing his shoulders to convince himself that the jacket he's been wearing for years now is suddenly too tight.

It's then that he starts to notice other things that are wrong. His hair falls in his eyes and tickles the back of his neck it a way it shouldn't. Brushing it back from his face, Ven feels a soft peach fuzz on his cheek and combs his fingers through it all along his jaw. His jacket's too tight and the sleeves too short and the bottom of his t-shirt barely brushes the top of his pants.

Panic starts to take over as his confusion builds and he knows he has to stay calm. He has to focus and not freak out. Find Zack or Master Eraqus. Somebody. Anybody. Anyone who can tell him what is happening.

Ven pulls his arms free of the uncomfortable jacket and goes to drop it on the ground when a stain on the front catches his eye. It's a brown splotch, ugly and flaking. It's blood and he knows it. He presses a hand to his chest, wondering if it's his, but the realization that it's not makes his hands shake.

It's Zack's blood, from the last moments in the alley. After Vanitas had torn his chest to shreds. Ven had had Zack's blood on his hands, touched his jacket sometime later, and now the ugly stain filled his mind with fear that Zack did not survive. There had been so much blood.

Ven's hand falls to his pocket as he rushes out of the room. Finding the pin Zack had given him, he squeezes it hard. The pin had to mean something. If this is real and he is alive, then Zack had to have brought him this pin. He had to be here somewhere.

The room beyond the chamber Ven had awoken in is huge in comparison. It reminds him of the grand rooms of MEKA that he misses. He remembers Xehanort's darkness storm tearing it all down. This room, too, looks like it has been under attack. The walls and vaulting ceiling are stained with soot that patterns out explosion after explosion.

There had been a fight here once, one with lots of fire, but now it's just another empty room. Ven wonders where the victor and the loser have gone.

Stepping around a large soot mark on the floor, he listens to his footsteps echo. This whole place seems surreal. The silence and the lack of color makes the hair on the back of his neck stand up and he looks over his shoulder. No one is there, but he can't relax. Too much isn't making sense.

He reaches a staircase leading down. It's not that far down, but he can't make out the bottom. The whiteness blends together and leaves what lies ahead unclear.

Ven looks over his shoulder again. The paranoid feeling won't leave. Nothing is behind him though, and the only way to go is down the stairs.

He tentatively takes the first step down, squinting to see the final steps, but it's impossible to make out. He takes another step and then another and he steps off a curb onto damp pavement.

The world around Ven goes from colorless to vibrant in the blink of an eye and the sudden rush of city sounds make him jump. He spins around, but the white staircase is gone. A stained sidewalk and a dingy alley is all that's behind him with bright graffiti tagging every available surface.

"What the fuck?" Ven whispers stepping backwards into the middle of the street. He summons his keyblade on instinct. His heart is beating fast, his head telling him fight or flight, but there is nothing to fight and he's scared of where he'll end up if he runs.

Had he stepped through a portal and not noticed? How else would he have so suddenly changed worlds and as he looks up to the skyscrapers that fill the sky, there is no doubt he is far away from the white castle he'd woken up in.

One of the skyscrapers catches his eye. He cranes his neck up to read the number on top. _104._ He's seen that sign before. "Shibuya?" Ven says to himself.

"Ven!"

Ven whips his head around at the sound of Zack's voice calling his name. The sight of Zack running towards him makes his knees weak with relief. "Za-"

Zack tackles him with enough force to knock them both to the ground, effectively cutting Ven off. His body pins Ven to the ground, but Zack lifts his head so that he can look Ven in the eye.

Something between a sigh and a laugh comes out of Ven in a sob and he presses his hands to Zack's chest, feeling for any sign of the cuts Vanitas had inflicted. "You're okay," Ven says, voice cracking. He pulls Zack against him, burying his face into his shoulder. "You're okay," he repeats, hoping it will convince him this is real. Zack is here and he looks the same as he did before the fight in the alley. He forgets for the moment the white castle and the sudden return to Shibuya. All that matters is Zack alive and uninjured in his arms. For a moment, the elation of their reunion pushes away his confusion, but the red and purple kangaroo standing over them brings it right back.

The large Noise monster stares at him with blank eyes. Its muscles on its hind legs bunch together and the Noise jumps into the air. Hastily, Ven summons his keyblade and he points it at the kangaroo shouting, "Stopaga!"

Halfway through its descent to land right on top of them, the Noise freezes and Ven rolls to his feet, pulling Zack with him. As he does so, he realizes he's an inch or so taller than Zack now. It makes him freeze and look Zack over again. Zack looks exactly the same, it's Ven that has changed.

The stop spell wears off and the kangaroo falls back to the ground. With a sharp turn of its head, its beady eyes lock on to Ven and pushing Zack behind him, Ven points his keyblade at it. "Blizzara," he says and three icicles shoot out of end of his keyblade, hitting the kangaroo straight on. The Noise vanishes and the ground starts to tremble.

Looking up, Ven sees four rhino like Noise barreling toward them, snorting and tossing their heads. "Fire!" Ven shouts and a fire ball hits the first rhino right on the horn. But the spell is just deflected away, doing nothing but anger the Noise.

Ven takes a deep breath and starts a barrage of magic intermixed with ducking around the sharp horns. One by one rhinos fall and when the last one falls, Ven turns from where he'd ended up in the middle of the street to where Zack stands watching him with an odd look on his face. "Zack?" Ven asks, walking towards him and letting his keyblade disappear.

Zack takes his hand off his side and his entire palm is painted red.

"Zack!" Ven lunges forward as Zack stumbles and drops of blood from his side scatter on the street. "Zack! What happened?"

"Rhino... horn," Zack gasps out collapsing forward and his shoulder hits Ven's chest.

Ven lowers them both to the ground, holding Zack half in his lap. "No, no, no," Ven says. "Curaga. Curaga." He lifts his hand from Zack's wound and watches with dismay as the red stain continues to spread. "Zack, I don't... how did this…I'm so sorry."

Zack mutters something, his eyes rolling back in his head.

"Zack!" Ven shakes him hard and his eyes slowly open again. "Stay with me."

Zack moves his hand enough to brush against Ven's. "How did you let this...happen?"

"Wh-what?"

Zack's eyes close and his hand falls limp. With a gasp, Ven presses his fingers against Zack's neck. His other hand taps desperately on Zack's cheek.

"No, no, no, no, no," he cries shaking Zack. "No, you have to wake up. No, Zack, please...no." With a sob, Ven drops his head onto Zack's chest, twisting his hands in Zack's shirt. "This can't be real. This can't…"

He closes his eyes as sobs wrack his body and without warning everything changes.

The weight of Zack disappears from his lap and Ven's head shoots up, eyes open, staring blankly at the white walls that had returned. Shibuya is gone, and more alarmingly, so is Zack.

Ven springs to his feet and turns on the spot. "Zack?" He shouts as best he can, his chest heaving with fear. "Zack!" The room is empty with no signs of Zack and no sign that he'd ever been there. But a moment ago he had been. A moment ago he'd been lifeless in Ven's arms. A moment ago, but worlds away. And now Ven was alone, shouting out to the empty white walls,

"Zack!"

* * *

 **Down to business :)**

 **Disclaimer: I own everything. (Except characters, setting, parts of the plot, and anything else that belong to Disney and Square Enix...)**

 **Warnings: You know me, swears, fighting, blood, the usual. Lots of sadness, occasional happiness. A few instances of drunkenness and its results. Boyxboy (that one should be a given by now) and minor OCs except one OC will have a slightly more major role this time around, but I still thinks he's minor.**

 **This is all unbetaed so feel free to point out my mistakes. Make it a game if you want. Spot ten blatantly obvious grammar mistakes and win a sticker*.**

 ***i don't actually have any stickers**

 **What else did I need to say...oh yeah!**

 **This fic has a theme song! It's** _ **I'll Fight**_ **by Daughtry. The whole song is awesome but it's the chorus that makes it perfect for this story.**

 **[I'll Fight by Daughtry]**

 _ **If you ever fall down straight to the bottom**_

 _ **And you can't get back where you started**_

 _ **With no strength to stand**_

 _ **Gonna reach for your hand**_

 _ **When the going gets rough**_

 _ **Right when it's hurting I will be there**_

 _ **To help bear the burden**_

 _ **Any place any time**_

 _ **You gotta know for you I'll fight**_

 ***sighs* so perfect…**

 **Don't forget to favorite and follow to get updates!** **You might as well drop a review while you're at it. I swear the review box doesn't bite. (Gnaws a bit sometimes, but it's harmless, really)**

 **P.S. - Laugh at my dumb jokes. It's the law.**


	2. The Face in the Reflection

Chapter 2 _The Face in the Reflection_

When the white tile under his feet turns to grass, Ven looks up from his shoes to take in his new surroundings. Like the first staircase, going down another floor has brought about a change of scenery, but this time he is in a forest clearing not a city.

A brook runs alongside the path he is on which winds out of sight into the hesitant steps forward, Ven looks around for anyone or anything that might be lurking in the trees, but he is alone.

Kneeling in the soft ground on the edge of the stream, he reaches out and cups the water in his hands. With little finesse, he slurps water from his hands and sighs to feel the water run down his dry throat. He dips his hands again and slurps a second mouthful realizing just how thirsty he is. Greedy for more, he keeps gulping it down until he's drunk as much as he possibly can.

He sits back on his heels and the water settles to a smooth surface which shows his reflection almost perfectly, but it takes a moment for him to recognize himself. His eyes are red and puffy from the tears he'd shed after Zack's death in Shibuya and his hair hangs over his face in a way that's just not him.

He grips the long hair in his fist, tugging it hard and wishing it was a wig he could pull of to reveal hair and the face he remembers. Staring at his own reflection he can't deny that he has grown older. Years older. So much older that he can barely recognize himself and maybe so old that his friends had all forgotten him. Why else would he be stuck on his own like he is? Terra, Aqua, Master Eraqus, and Zack would never have left him to fend for himself. Not in this crazy castle. He blames the years he'd slept for them not being here. Any other explanation would be more terrible than them forgetting about him.

Thrusting out his hand, Ven summons his keyblade and uses the stream as a mirror to position the blade against the fistful of hair he is holding. Keyblades aren't the sharpest tools in the world, but he saws at it, hacks at it, until chunks of blond hair litter the ground around him.

The result is uneven and leaves him still looking haggard, but his lip curls up in a small self-satisfied smile. It's at least a semblance to how his hair used to look. The peach fuzz beard on his cheeks is next and without pausing to think of how disastrous shaving with a sword could be, he lines up the blade on his cheekbone like he'd once watched Terra do with a proper razor.

He adjusts his grip on the keyblade, readying himself to make the first cut, when something in the background of his reflection shifts amongst the trees. He freezes, seeing a black mask watching him.

"Vanitas!" Ven says, whipping his head around fast. The black mask is gone.

Unsure if what he'd seen was real, Ven stands and moves closer to the treeline, peering between the branches for another glimpse. Seeing no one, his shoulders slump, and he shakes his head. If things weren't crazy enough, now he's seeing things.

He turns back around and catches sight of Vanitas again, disappearing down the path out of the clearing. "Wait!" Ven calls and runs after him wondering why, of all people, Vanitas is the one here with him.

…

Slowing to a walk, Ven looks around the tents of the small Indian camp the path had led to for any signs of Vanitas. On one side of the camp there is the sheer drop of a cliff and from his vantage point he can see all of the large island of Neverland and the large pirate ship floating in the shallows near by.

Ven looks down at the clear blue water and sighs. "Was that really you, Vanitas?"

"Oh, it's really me."

Ven whirls around and spots Vanitas leaning against one of the totem poles. He pushes away from it and walks up to Ven.

"How did you get here?" Ven asks. Last he'd seen of Vanitas their hearts had been melding back together. After that, the masked boy had disappeared. But the really strange thing is, Ven is looking down at Vanitas. He's taller than him by a couple inches whereas before they'd been the same height. "You're the same age," Ven says in surprise.

"You're not." Vanitas' helmet hides his smirk, but Ven can hear it in his voice. "25," Vanitas says shaking his head. "You're half way to 50."

"Wh-what?" Ven stutters. He knew he'd grown older, but 25?

Vanitas laughs at his reaction. "You've been sleeping on your ass here for ten years," he says, gesturing around. "Hmph. No wonder everyone has given up on looking for you."

Ven winces at those words. "Given up?"

"You really thought people would care enough to still be looking for you ten years after you vanished?"

"What about Terra and Aqua?" Ven whispers. Surely his best friends wouldn't stand him like this.

"Who knows," Vanitas says with a laugh. "But I'd put money on dead and gone."

"Don't say that."

"Why? They probably are," Vanitas says, walking in a circle around Ven. "Don't you remember how everything ended? You really think you're friends stood a chance against Xehanort?"

Ven wishes he could believe otherwise, but he'd seen the hopelessness in master Eraqus' eyes when he and Terra made their stand on the steps of MEKA. He'd seen Aqua following him to the bitter end in hopes of saving him from Vanitas. Instead, she had been left alone to face the aftermath of the X-blade's destruction.

Vanitas' hand falls heavy on Ven's shoulder. "Sorry, buddy," Vanitas says with a tone that is anything, but sorry.

With a jerk, Ven throws Vantias' hand off and summons his keyblade. "Shut up!" He shouts, falling into a battle position.

"Really, Ven? You want to fight?" Vanitas says annoyed. "What is there even left for you to fight for? Friends, gone. Home, gone. Zack, well, you remember what happened to Zack."

"No." Ven's hands shook against his will. "No. He didn't...die. He couldn't."

"No?" Vanitas says, stepping closer. "You saw all the blood."

The memory of the stench of blood in the alley makes Ven retch a little, but he closes his eyes to try and block Vanitas out.

"You tried to heal him, but it wasn't working, was it?"

Ven grit his teeth. "Shut up."

"You couldn't save him, Ven. You couldn't save any of them."

"Shut up!"

Ven's eyes shoot open as he swings his keyblade at Vanitas' neck. Darkness bursts from Vanitas' hand and his keyblade appears, blocking Ven's strike with a loud clang.

"Don't fight, Ven," Vanitas says as Ven's keyblade drops. "Just give in."

Ven shakes his head frantically. "No," he mutters. "Leave me alone." He stumbles away from Vanitas. "Leave me alone!"

Turning on his heel, Ven flees into the forest, glancing over his shoulder to make sure Vanitas isn't following him. In the clearing he'd started in he takes the path off in the opposite direction, heading deeper into the forest, and after a minute he is relieved to see a break in the trees ahead.

He bursts into the clearing and nearly falls on his face coming to a stop. Vanitas is standing there waiting for him beside the same stream in the same clearing Ven just left.

"How-" He turns to look back down the path he came. "What is going on?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Vanitas says. "You're trapped her. Forever. You have no where to run to."

Ven stares at him with his mouth moving, but no words coming out. Then with a desperate cry, he turns and runs back along the path. He runs as fast as he can until his lungs are burning, but a bend in the path brings him back to the clearing where Vanitas is shaking his head.

"Just give in, Ven."

Foregoing any path, Ven takes off into forest. Every tree looks the same and he is sure he is still running in circles. His foot catches on a root and sends his sprawling. He lies there, chin and elbows scraped, and curls up with his arms over his head.

"This can't be real," he whispers to himself, his voice shaking. "I can't be trapped here forever. This can't…"

He lets out a choked sob and turns his head towards the forest floor except his forehead comes to rest on cold tile instead.

The forest floor is gone and so are the trees. So is the sky and it is all replaced with the white castle. Looking around at the empty room and yet another staircase leading down Ven can't help but think this isn't much better.

…

In the hidden rooms of Castle Oblivion, a dark corridor appears and Marluxia, Larxene, and Zexion look up to see the masked boy step out. He walks over to join them around the glowing orb that shows a real time image of Ven slowly picking himself off the ground on Floor 11. The crystal ball, as they call it, lets them spy on how the rats in their maze are doing without interfering.

"You have yet to break him," Marluxia says to the masked boy who shrugs and lifts off his mask.

Blond hair tumbles out and without the mask on, Namine can return Marluxia's hard stare. "That was just the warm up act," she says. The mask and the black body suit disappear like the illusion that they are and she moves to press her hands against the crystal ball. "It gave me a sample of his darkest fears." Under her hand, the image of Ven walks to the next staircase down, pausing there in apprehension. "You're scared of how alone you are," Namine whispers to the image. "Let's see how alone you can get."

* * *

 **I'll freely admit that I'm a terrible person. This took way too long and it's short and I'm so sorry.**

 **Hopefully you liked it anyway. Idk if people like evil Namine. I like evil Namine.**

 **Thank you micaelaann .cruz, ZalelTribal, thekingdomheartsfan, and Midori-chan37 for your reviews on the first chapter. I'm glad to see my awful writing schedule hasn't lost me all my followers :)**

 **More of evil Namine's tricks to come so stay tuned for whenever I shove my ass into gear and get another chapter out.**


	3. The Dark Places

Chapter 3 _The Dark Places_

Aqua leaps over a line of boulders in her path, ignoring the pain of landing in sharp pebbles. Ahead of her the ground slopes down into a canyon where the towering stone sides are an even darker black than the rest of the Realm of Darkness. It looks far from a safe haven. Hiding out in its shadows might let her shake the Darksides on her tail, but something even more sinister could lurk there.

She glances back at the three Darksides lumbering after her. No matter where she goes, something is always after her. The idea of rest, no matter how brief it would be, lures her in against better judgement.

To Aqua, running is for cowards, but keeping her pride wouldn't protect her from being squashed like a bug under a Darkside's foot. She is weaponless, defenseless, and despite the years that have passed since she gave up her keyblade to save Terra, her anger at being so useless hasn't left her yet. It is one of the few things she has managed to hold onto in such a dark place.

She runs and skids down the slope into the canyon, brushing a hand along the cold rock walls to keep her balance. The ground levels out and she comes to a fork in the path. Picking the left side, she continues to run, ignoring the way the hair on the back of her neck stands up as the shadows of the towering rocks on either side take away most of the little light she has to see by.

Rumbling footsteps behind her tell her at least one of the Darksides has taken the same fork as her. The path splits again. "What kind of maze have I gotten myself into?" She murmurs to herself, but it's too late now to turn back. The footsteps stay behind her as she darts down a path at random. They are closing in on her and her burning lungs are slowing her down even more.

Another path comes up on her left and she takes it without thought. A hundred meters in, it ends. A dead end with a sheer rock wall she has no hope of climbing.

She skids to an ungraceful stop and turns to run back the way she had come, but a Darkside is already at the end of the path. She's trapped.

Staring at the huge black monster strolling towards her, Aqua's back bumps against the rock wall. She slides along it to the corner and her hands brush against a crack. Her breath coming out ragged, Aqua looks closer at the narrow crack in the canyon wall. It blends in with the dark rock and it's hard to tell if it will be big enough, but without hesitating, Aqua squeezes in.

The crack narrows fast and she's barely inside it when she can't move any further. Holding her head down at an uncomfortable angle, she listens to the dragging footsteps approaching.

She can hear it sniffing. Searching for its lost prey.

Her chin trembles and she covers her mouth with her hand. She can see it outside her hiding space. It's close enough to touch and she tries to push herself back deeper in the crack.

It walks in circles while she holds her breath. Without warning, it stops and lifts it's head up with a low roar of anger that makes Aqua's heart thud even more frantically in her chest.

The Darkside turns and lumbers off, leaving her alone in the dead end cavern. Aqua waits five seconds after it's out of sight to let out a sob of relief. The hand she'd been pressing to her mouth falls to her side and brushes against something that's not rock. It feels like coarse hair.

Beady yellow eyes blink into life by her hand and she gasps, frantically trying to extract herself from the crack in the rock. Her foot catches and her arms flail to keep herself from falling. A hoard of yellow eyes blink open and the sound of wings is followed by high pitched squeals.

Aqua screams out as the bat like heartless fly out of crack in the rock, crashing into her in their haste. Swatting at them and trying to get away, she stumbles out of the hiding place and falls onto her back with one of the bats latched firmly onto her shirt.

It bites down at her, it's teeth sinking into her side and she cries out in pain. Her hand falls on a loose rock and she smashes it into the side of the bat's head, knocking it off her chest. It hits the ground and sinks in. Darkness returning to darkness.

She rolls back to her feet with her arms protectively over her head and takes off, running once more. The screeching bats chase her deeper into the black canyon.

There are at least 20 of them and they're gaining on her, nipping at her hair. Calling on the little magic she could still summon without her keyblade, Aqua shouts out, "Fire!" and sends the fireball at the center of the hoard. It's bright and and manages to burn a few of the bats before it disappears. The bat heartless scatter up and away from her, still shrieking. The echo of them continues in the canyon long after their gone.

Leaning against a wall, Aqua takes long, shuddering breaths to calm down. She knows she doesn't have long to rest. The fire may have scared off the small heartless, but it might have attracted stronger enemies to come investigate.

She takes a moment to retie her hair in the ponytail she keeps it in. With her hands still shaking, she handles the elastic gingerly. It had come from the top of her stockings that she'd long since left behind somewhere. She'd already snapped the first one she had and if she snapped this one she'd have nothing to keep her long hair out of her face.

The elastic doesn't break and with a quick inspection of the shallow bite the bat had left, Aqua starts moving once more. She's used to it by now, always being on the move. It's the only way to survive in the Realm of Darkness. If she keeps moving, she can stay one step ahead of the heartless.

And there's another reason she keeps moving.

She hasn't given up on finding a way out. Despite the darkness' best effort she's held onto the hope of escaping her prison and finding her way back to her friends. Terra. Ven. Master Eraqus. The thought of them is what keeps her sane. It's what lets her continue deeper into dark canyon with a small smile on her lips.

They are, and have always been, her light.

…

The flowers in the field are vibrant to the point they hurt Ven's eyes, but he sits among them anyway, hoping they will give him some of their light. Butterflies flap around the meadow, but avoid him like they can sense the dark fears slowly taking over his heart.

This is where the next staircase down had brought him, a meadow on the edge of a forest. He faces a path, but he has chosen instead to sit in the meadow where at least there is sun. If he's trapped he might as well find some place peaceful to be. The forest looks far from friendly and he has no desire to be running in circles again

Part of him knows this is giving in, but the part of him that had any fight left was broken on the floor above. He just can't make himself get back on his feet.

A shrill scream makes his head jerk up. It had come from somewhere in the forest and had set birds flying out of the trees in fright. Ven's keyblade appears in his hand without him meaning to call it.

The scream is the first indication that he isn't alone. He gets to his feet slowly, wondering if this is a trick. Vanitas had come out of nowhere last time, maybe the masked boy is lurking in the dark forest, luring Ven to him.

Another scream rings out and it spurs Ven into action. Trick or not, someone is in trouble.

He enters the forest and follows the path to a more open space where the tree branches are thick enough to blot out the sun completely. Ven slows to a stop and let's his eyes adjust to the low light.

"Hello?" He calls out seeing no one. What feels like a hand curls around his shoulder and he turns. "Do you need - _help!_ " The tree behind him has come to life and its crooked branches are what's gripping his shoulder not a hand.

Ven's keyblade slams down on the branch, taking a sizable chunk of bark off, and the branch retracts letting him stumble back to a safe distance. Now he can see the ghoulish face on the trunk of the tree and he remembers where he'd seen these trees before. And the meadow too for that matter.

He had come here with Mickey on accident with the Star Shard. They'd fought the trees together and it had been fire that had been the only thing effective.

"Firaga!" Ven shouts and the fireball from his keyblade sets the tree trunk on fire. It sounds like the tree is wailing as it goes up in smoke and when the flames die down, the ghoulish face is gone.

His victory is short lived as the other trees start to shift and red eyes train themselves on him. One branch shoots out for him and he rolls to the side. A thick branch swings towards him and he scrambles back to his feet. It hits the ground where his head would have been with a thud.

Charging forward, Ven launches into an attack called Fire Surge shouting, "Fira!" A ring of flames appear around him and with his arms out for balance, he runs up the tree branch before it can move again, leaving a trail of fire behind him. The magic ends right as he reaches the trunk, but the damage is done.

Jumping down and rolling easily to cushion his fall, Ven looks back to see the burning tree thrashing uselessly. It's branches knock into the branches of its neighbor tree and both go up in smoke with matching shrieks.

A branch snakes around Ven from behind, pinning his arms to his sides, and it pulls him off the ground. He twists around, trying to find a good angle to strike the branch, but freezes to see Vanitas standing on the ground by the tree that is holding him.

"What are you doing, Ven?" Vanitas asks, shaking his head as he stares up at Ven through the black mask over his face. "Why didn't you just stay in the meadow?"

"A girl was screaming," Ven says, pulling at the branch wrapping tighter around him. "She needed help."

Vanitas looks around, spreading his hands in a mocking gesture. "Where? There is no girl here." He steps closer to Ven and the tree branch brings Ven down closer to him. "Not much of hero if there is no one left to save."

Vanitas laughs, cold and cruel, and Ven glares down at him, angry but without a retort. The scream had been a trick and once again he is trapped. Just as Vanitas had told him.

"Pout all you want," Vanitas says, grabbing Ven's chin and pulling him closer. "You know I'm right." Ven jerks his head out of Vanitas' grip and swings his keyblade at him. Vanitas jumps back easily. "You're not getting out of here," he says, leaning back against the tree trunk. "Time to get used to that reality."

The tree suddenly lets go of Ven and he drops to the ground, knees buckling as he lands. "You should go back to the meadow," Vanitas says pointing to the path Ven had followed here. "It only gets darker the deeper you go in the forest."

Ven's hands are shaking. Whether from anger or fear, he can't tell. He gets to his feet, but lets his keyblade disappear. This isn't a fair fight and he knows he can't win.

A fireball flashes past him and explodes against the tree trunk, knocking Vanitas to the ground. Ven spins around to see a man by the trees he already burned. The figure is barely an outline in the darkness of the shadow of the tree beside. His voice however is clear and rings with familiarity that Ven can't place.

"They're waiting for you, if you can make it."

Ven stares at the figure incredulously. "Wh-who?" He asks. "My friends?"

Vanitas gets back to his feet. "Don't interfere," he snarls at the indistinct figure who melts into the shadows without a trace. Vanitas rounds on Ven. "This is your last chance to turn back to the meadow. I'm done playing nice."

Without a look back, Vanitas hurries off down a second path, leaving Ven to make a decision. It only takes him a moment. If there is even a shred of hope that the people he cares about are waiting for him, missing him, he can't let fear stop him.

He takes off after Vanitas, set in his determination to find his way out. He'd been trapped before. Trapped on Carinol and trapped by Keric and he had broken those binds. Vanitas might swear there is no way out, but he won't believe that.

He'll make his own way if he has too.

And, like a sign that he is on the right path, the forest floor turns to tile and the greens and browns of the forest turns to white. Another set of stairs down faces him and he doesn't slow. These stairs have to lead somewhere and he isn't going to stop until he finds out where.

* * *

 **Midori-chan37: Lol yes! Thank you!**

 **micaelaann. cruz** **: Glad you're pumped about evil Namine too! She's got lots planned for Ven *evil grin***

 **LightzMusic22: OMG HI! Welcome back :D That's so awesome that you're doing commissions! I will hopefully also be joining the working class tomorrow after my first ever job interview. Take that adulthood! Ima be rolling in my minimum-wage earnings in no time.**

 **Aqua's back! *does happy dance* I mean, her life kind of sucks at the moment, but it wouldn't be much of a story if it didn't! We'll be seeing her again shortly as she has one of the major storylines of this fic. Ven is the most major storyline of course, but there are going to be a lot of other points of view and storylines that I'm going to jump to from time to time.**

 **That sound fun? Course it does.**

 **Reviews are fun too :) Thanks lovelies!**


	4. Roll With the Punches

Chapter 4 _Roll With the Punches_

Axel wakes in the wee hours of the morning knowing something's wrong. The light of the rising sun comes through the slats in the walls of the seaside shack is enough to see by and he lifts his head enough to look around. The stacks of coconuts he'd collected the day before is undisturbed. So are the mushrooms. No one else is in the shack and that's the problem.

Where is Roxas?

Axel is on his feet with all trace of grogginess gone. His black coat that he'd been using as a blanket falls in a heap beside him, and he trips over it rushing for the door.

In his panic he assumes the worst. Xemnas had found them. The natives of Destiny Islands had kidnapped Roxas as payback for the stolen coconuts. The high tide had swept the unconscious boy out to sea.

All of those scenarios flash through Axel's mind in the fumbling moments it takes him to wrench the door open, but his worries prove for nothing. Roxas stands alone on the shoreline, his black coat wrapped around him, and his eyes on the crystal clear water.

"Roxas?" Axel whispers. The knot in his stomach built up over three days of Roxas being unresponsive after giving Ven back his heart unravels and Axel runs across the beach. "Roxas!"

At his shout, the blond turns just in time to be hit by Axel, crashing into him and wrapping him in a bear hug. "You just had to make me worry, kid," Axel says, relief evident in his voice.

Grinning that things are finally working out for the two of them, Axel dips his head to kiss Roxas. Instead, Roxas' fist connects with the corner of his mouth.

Axel's butt hits the sand and he grabs his aching jaw. He tastes blood from his split lip. "What the hell, Roxas?" He demands looking up at the blond who is in a fighting stance with his hands still in fists.

Roxas glares at him.

"Who's Roxas?"

…

"Every person we ever see or come into contact with in our lifetime leaves a connection between us and them."

Ven turns around at the deep voice to see an older blond man with odd orange eyes sitting behind a large wooden desk. The room they are in is brightly colored with complicated diagrams in the same neat handwriting plastering the walls.

"These connections are usually only wisps of threads, but they will hold nonetheless," the man - Ansem, Ven remembers now - continues to say. "However, there are always a few who our connections with are as binding as the toughest rope. Ventus," Ansem rises from his chair and beckons Ven closer. "Vanitas was originally part of your heart. In some ways you are nearly the same person. Your connection runs deeper than any other you will ever have. Even it was not for the X-blade, your destinies would forever be intertwined because your hearts' connection would always bring the two of you back togeth-"

Ansem chokes midword. A black and red keyblade rips through the front of his chest and Ven gasps, jumping back. Ansem eyes widen and he stares down at the impaling keyblade for a few heartbeats before crumpling back into his chair. Vanitas steps out from behind him, pulling his keyblade out of Ansem's back with little care.

"What a boring old man," Vanitas says, wiping the end of his keyblade on his pants. At a gesture from him, the door behind Ven swings shut and the sound of the lock sliding into place is audible.

Still, Ven tries the doorknob. It doesn't budge. Vanitas sighs exasperatedly and leans against the front of Ansem's desk.

"Trapped again Ven," he taunts, but Ven doesn't rise to the bait. Ignoring Vanitas, he looks around the room for another way out. A second door half blends in with the wall.

Vanitas follows him over to it. "Stop wasting your time, Ven. You heard the man," he says, jerking a thumb in Ansem's direction. "Destiny, fate, whatever you want to call it, there is no running from me. You and me, we're going to create the X-blade."

"No," Ven replies, shaking his head. "No. That destiny stuff is crap. I destroyed the X-blade." He press his hands against the metal door. It must be automatic and it's too heavy to force open. Ven moves back to the first door, deciding it's the better of the two options, and Vanitas calls after him,

"The X-blade may be broken, but the pieces can be put back together. You won't get lucky a second time. The X-blade will be created and Kingdom Hearts will be unlocked; the Superior will make sure of that."

Ven pauses with his foot raised to kick in the door. "The Superior?" He asks. He has never heard Vanitas call Xehanort that before.

A sudden loud knock on the door makes Ven jump. Someone is pounding on the other side of the door, hitting it hard enough to make it shake.

"Hello?" Ven shouts through the door. He tugs at the doorknob to no avail. "Hey!" He hits the door. "Who's there?"

Vanitas' hand grabs him by the back of his neck and throws him back into the desk. The corner catches him in the side and he doubles over.

"Try all you want," Vanitas shouts through the door. "It won't do you any good." The pounding gets louder, more frantic. "Breaking down this door won't do anything. I can make a hundred more rooms like this to lock him in. You can't save him."

The echo of the final knock is followed by silence. Ven pushes away from the desk slowly, heart sinking.

Vanitas turns back to face him, swinging his keyblade casually. "Now," he says. "Where were we?"

"Who's the Superior?" Ven asks. He doesn't take his eyes off the keyblade as Vanitas steps towards him.

"Not important," Vanitas replies. He puts his keyblade to Ven's chest. "It's just you and me in here."

"And whoever is on the other side of the door."

Vanitas jabs Ven hard with his keyblade. "There is no one out there," he growls.

The whole room shakes as the pounding starts again. This time it's from all over. Walls, floor, ceiling.

And as Ven looks around for the source, the room starts to distort around him. The colors of the books on the bookshelf bleed into each other like water colors. The walls look like cardboard colored with crayons. And Ansem's body looks like a paper doll.

"How the fuck…" Vanitas says, letting his keyblade drop. The black mask over his face is fading too. Through it Ven can make out a pair of blue eyes full of rage.

Vanitas turns and the door flies open. He runs out and Ven gives chase as Ansem's office dissolves and he returns to white tiles and another staircase.

* * *

 **Any bets on who is trying to help Ven? It's looking like 3 or so chapters until the official reveal, but idk if it's obvious yet.**

 **LightzMusic22** **:** **Never fear! VenxZack will return and they will be so adorable the cuteness overload might overwhelm us all.**

 **micaelaann. cruz:** **Updated! Finally! Next update coming soon *fingers crossed***

 **Midori-chan37:** **Aqua gave her own keyblade to Terra and left Master Eraqus' keychain (without which she can't use his keyblade) for Roxas to find on the beach in the Dark Realm. Got a guess about the person interfering?**

 **Next chapter we'll throw it back to Aqua and see what she's up to in the Realm of Darkness. And Ven will find out what terror the next floor holds for him. See you then!**


	5. Nameless

Chapter 5 _Nameless_

The white tile floor turns to red dirt and the sight of it makes Ven's stomach turn over. He doesn't need the sulfur smell in the air to tell him where he is now. He couldn't have forgotten the Keyblade Graveyard if he tried.

Swallowing hard, he looks up at the sheer drop cliff in front of him. A single Neoshadow is perched on the highest ledge, it's antennas wiggling in interest.

It jumps forward off the ledge and Ven leaps back. His keyblade is in hand before it lands on the ground and he cuts through the heartless without hesitation. It fades and the heart it was carrying rises into the sky. Ven watches it go and for a moment it is the only thing moving in the wasteland. Then, a second Neoshadow rises to replace the first.

" _That's right. Fight."_

Ven jumps at the raspy voice in his ear and the Neoshadow takes advantage of his lasp in concentration. Its claws rip through his shirt, but he manages to knock it away. He whirls around to see who'd spoken, but no one is there.

" _Pure light against pure darkness, to forge the ultimate key."_

He whirls around again, heart pounding. The voice had felt like it was right in his ear. Like the speaker was breathing down the back of his neck, but still there is no one there.

The words, however, are sinking in.

He remembers this. The taunts. The threats. The voice in his ear is Xehanort's whispering his dark plan to corrupt Kingdom Hearts.

One by one, Neoshadows spring from the cracked ground and form a ring around Ven. He turns on the spot, watching for the heartless to attack.

" _The X-blade needs to be forged. Give in and fight."_

This was the part where Xehanort had threatened to hurt Sora if Ven wouldn't fight like he wanted to, but Sora isn't here now. The only consequence of Ven refusing to fight is his own life being at stake.

He doesn't even hesitate in dismissing his keyblade.

"I won't fight," Ven shouts to the empty landscape around him. "I'm not yours to control."

" _Embrace the darkness."_

"Never!"

There is a long pause and the Neoshadows all step forward, shrinking the circle around Ven.

" _You would rather die?"_

Ven takes a deep breath. "Yes."

In seconds, the Neoshadows jump him. Their claws sink into his clothes and the weight of them all pull him to the ground. More pop into existence around him and pile on until they have completely blacked out his view of the dusty sky. They become one large writhing mass on top of him and Ven closes his eyes, waiting for the inevitable.

Except it never comes.

The heartless aren't attacking him. Their claws are latched onto his clothes, but they haven't scratched his skin. They aren't trying to kill him; they are simply trapping him under their weight.

Ven's gut clenches. He's been played.

Xehanort hadn't been there. This hadn't been about the X-blade. This is Vanitas again. Trying to trap him, again. But this time Ven had let him.

Ven gasps in fear and tries to push the Neoshadows off him. They have him held firm and even though he struggles hard, he is barely moving and the Neoshadows for sure aren't budging. He summons his keyblade, but he can't move his arm enough to use it.

Fear starts to set in. It starts getting hard to breath. He knows it's useless to scream, but he screams anyway. "Help! Someone, please…"

He doesn't expect a reply, but he could have sworn he heard someone say, "Idiot."

He could have sworn he heard someone say, "Idiot."

A gloved hand plunges through the Neoshadows and grabs a fistful of Ven's shirt. The weight on his chest is suddenly gone and he is yanked up from the ground.

"Don't let them fool you," he hears and then the Neoshadows and the hand are gone.

Ven falls back against the white tile floor and lies there, gasping. "Who?" He manages to say between gulps of air. He lifts his head enough to look around, but the white room is empty. His head drops back onto the floor and he puts a hand to his chest where his shirt is all wrinkled from the fist that had grabbed him.

 _Who is helping him?_

...

A blue ball of energy explodes from the Behemoth heartless' horn and Aqua leaps behind a boulder, feeling the black rock shake from the impact of the attack. She can hear the heartless stamping its feet in annoyance. She's alluded it for a while now, thanks to her nimbleness. The large heartless moved slow and was confined by the narrow path in the canyon.

Another ball of energy shakes the rock she is hiding behind. A spray of pebbles erupts from the impact and Aqua knows the boulder won't hold up for third attack. Taking a deep breath, she moves out into the open shouting, "Fira!"

It's the last of the limited magic she has, but her aim in dead on and the fireball hits the Behemoth between the eyes. It roars and rears its head back.

Dodging it's stamping feet, Aqua runs underneath the heartless and goes back the way they had come, forcing the heartless to turn itself around before lumbering after her once more.

Her breath comes out in gasps, but she doesn't slow. She needs to find a place to hide while she'd still ahead of the heartless. The Behemoth roars and she glances back. It's horn glows blue and she ducks as the ball of energy flies over her head.

It smashes into the canyon wall and a huge chunk of the black rock breaks off. Aqua dives out of the way of the falling debris and rolls painfully to her feet. The lead she had on the Behemoth is gone now and she is staring down the heartless' glowing horn.

Out of the shadows of the rock wall beside the Behemoth, a figure in a red hoodie appears. The sword on his hip flashes as he takes a running leap at the heartless' closest leg and climbs up onto its back.

The Behemoth shoots a ball of energy at Aqua and she dives out of its path. She rolls back to her feet in time to see the man on the heartless' back lop off the point of the horn with his long sword. The Behemoth howls, shaking it's head to rid itself of its attacker, but with the balance of a well seasoned fighter, the man keeps his footing and drives his sword down into the base of the heartless' neck.

It doesn't even scream. It just fades and the man in the red hoodie lands cat like where it had once stood.

"You're welcome," he says, sticking his sword back in its sheath. Not waiting for Aqua to recover from her shock, he turns away and melts into the shadows once more.

Aqua blinks, wondering if she's finally going crazy. She's seeing things. She has to be. There isn't anyone down in this terrible place besides her and an endless stream of heartless.

Maybe the man is a heartless, she thinks as she approaches the spot he'd disappeared. He had appeared and vanished into the shadows of the rock like a heartless.

His vanishing act, however, proves to be an illusion. The darkness makes it hard to make out, but once she is close enough Aqua can see the mouth of the cave the man had duck in and out of.

More than a little apprehensive, Aqua bends down and squeezes inside. She immediately hits her nose on the rough black rock as the path turns sharply. Using her hands to feel her way along, Aqua navigates the twisting path until she sees something ahead that she hasn't in a long, long time.

Light.

"Hey!"

The man stands on the far side of the small cave looking far from happy that Aqua followed him. His hand goes to his sword, but Aqua barely notices the threat. She's enthralled by the light source in the center of the cave. It's a glowing, golden medallion set on a stalagmite with a flat top.

The man moves closer to her. "I couldn't sit back and watch that thing skewer you, but I'm not running a charity. Get out."

Aqua reaches out towards the medallion. "What is it?" She asks. It has a storm cloud and a lightning bolt on it. The man steps in front of her, knocking her hand away.

"None of your business is what it is."

The man glares at her and Aqua takes a step back. "I-I'm sorry," she stutters. She isn't making a good first impression and she can't alienate the first person she has found down here. Not when he has light. " I didn't mean to...I haven't seen anyone in...and the light…"

The man's frown softens and his brow furrows. "How long have you been down here?" He asks slowly.

"I don't...know," Aqua replies and realizes just how raspy her voice sounds. It's been a long time since she's had someone to talk to besides herself. "H-how old do I look to you?"

"Uh…" He looks her over. "My age? 27 or 28? How old were you when you came here?"

"18."

The man lets out a low whistle. "That's...wow...I'm sorry." He pauses. "Wait. You've been here for ten years and haven't found a way out?"

Aqua shakes her head. "How long have you been here?"

"I don't know. A week or so," the man says distractedly. "There's no way out?" He pulls his hood off and runs a hand over his close shaven head.

"There _is_ a way out," Aqua insists. She can see the doubt in the man's eyes, but she has none. "There are people out there, friends, who are counting on me. I don't care how long it's been. I'm getting out of this dark place and getting back to them."

A smile cracks the man's face and he looks away.

"What?" Aqua asks. "You don't think I can?"

"No, it's not that," the man says quickly. "You just remind me of someone. All heart and spitfire. I don't doubt that you can find a way out of here."

Aqua blinks at the sincerity in the stranger's voice. "Thanks," she says. Maybe he isn't as hardened on the inside as he acts. She smiles tentatively. "You know, I'm not running a charity, but we could stick together. Find a way out."

She can't believe anyone wouldn't want company in this dark place, but the man hesitates.

"I'm not in the business of trusting strangers," he says. "Where I'm from, that's the quickest way to get yourself killed."

"Well, my name is Aqua. Now I'm not a stranger, right?" Her smile fades as he looks away. "What's your name?" She asks.

The man doesn't answer and picks up the glowing medallion.

"Wait!" Aqua says, panicking that he might leave. Now that she's gotten a glimpse of light again, she can't imagine lasting another 10 years without it. "What about getting out of here? If you really think I can find a way out why would you walk away?"

"You have friends to go back to," the man replies, not meeting her eyes. "I don't know if I do."

"What about the person I remind you of?" Aqua moves to block the exit. "All heart and spitfire? Aren't they a friend?"

"He is," the man replies softly. "But I left him all alone. After I promised I never would. If he survived all those years without me, I doubt he wants to see me again." Saying those words aloud seemed to hurt and the man took a deep breath. His green eyes were brighter than before. "Besides, this place isn't much worse than Carinol."

"You're from Carinol?" Aqua asks, surprised. It could be a coincidence, but the coincidences with this man are piling up. "Can you please tell me your name?"

"No. Will you move so I can leave?"

Aqua doesn't budge. "What if I guess."

The man laughs a little at that. "You think you can guess?"

"I think so, Tay."

The wide eyed look he gives her is all she needs to know she is right.

* * *

 **Whaaaat?! Taaaaay?!**

 **Yes! You read that right! Tay has returned!**

 **LightzMusic22:** **Ven's mysterious helper remains a mystery! Tay was a good guess, but he's in the middle of something else at the moment...**

 **micaelaann. cruz** **:** **:D**

 **AquaTitaniaMiyuki:** **Thanks! :D I'm proud of this little plot I've woven and hopefully its easy enough to follow with all the points of view switches.**

 **You lovely readers may have noticed these chapters are shorter than the ones I used to write. Hopefully you like the faster updates that I can do because they're shorter. I like the practice of writing shorter scenes. My tendency is to make things too long (this series is plenty proof of that) and I'm trying to teach myself to condense to just the most important parts.**

 **So yeah. Trying to keep everything short and simple.**

 **...simple is a very relative term here...**


	6. Continuity Error

Chapter 6 _Continuity Error_

Tay surges forward and presses Aqua back against the cave wall, holding her there with one hand while the other rests on the pommel of his sword. "How do you know my name?" He demands, his face only a few inches from hers.

Aqua blinks. "You're alive," she murmurs in disbelief.

"How do you know my name?" Tay repeats, shoving Aqua harder.

"Ven," Aqua says quickly. "Ven told us about you."

Tay's eyes widen and the glare melts from his face. He pulls his hand back and steps away from Aqua. "You know Ven?" He asks cautiously. His hand is still on his sword. "How?"

"I'm a keyblade wielder like him," Aqua replies. "We found him on Carinol and took him to our home. MEKA."

The image of the first time she'd seen Ven, unconscious and scratched up by the heartless, flashes in her mind. Her eyes mist over remembering his excitement to leave his homeworld with her and Terra.

"He…" Tay takes a shuddering breath. "He got away?

Tay turns and walks to the other side of the cave, running his hands over his short hair. "Ha...Ven got away." He spins to face Aqua grinning from ear to ear with his hands on the back of his neck. "Ven got away!" He shouts, throwing his arms up. "Fuck yeah!" Tay whoops and pumps his fist in the air. "I knew he could do it. I knew he'd make it out."

Aqua finds herself smiling as well. Something she hasn't done in a long time. Tay's happiness is infectious and he bounds back over to her with all traces of the cold man from before gone.

"How is he?" Tay asks. His smile falters to see her hesitate. "Is he..?" Fear replaces the light in his eyes.

"No." Aqua shakes her head. "He's not…" She can't say it either.

Taking a deep breath, she says haltingly, "He was good, Tay. For a long time, he was happy. But he's a keyblade wielder, the X-blade wielder. H-he got hurt," she swallows the lump in her throat. "He got hurt fighting for the light and I did what I could, but I couldn't do more than get him somewhere safe. And now I'm here and I've been here for so long. I don't what happened to him if he ever woke up, if he…" Her voice gives out seeing Tay sink down by the stalagmite holding the glowing medallion. He covers his face with his hands. "I'm sorry, Tay," Aqua whispers.

Tay leans his head back against the stalagmite and rubs his eye. Looking at his feet, he says, "You said he went down fighting?"

Aqua sits down in front of Tay, crossing her legs, and replies in a soft voice, "He sacrificed himself to save the worlds from a very evil man."

Nodding several times, Tay sniffs. "Sounds like Ven," he forces out. "That hero's heart of his always got him in trouble...I've missed that about him," Tay ducks his head.

Aqua gives him a minute to regain his composure, but she has to ask. "How are you alive?" She says quietly and Tay picks his head up. "Ven told us how you died. I've seen your grave."

Tay doesn't answer right away. Reaching up over his head, he picks up the glowing medallion and rolls in between his fingers while Aqua watches every movement, still enthralled by the light. "I don't remember being dead," he replies. "Just being cold. And then this guy - Hades, I learned later - offered me a second chance. I don't know what he did, but my life flashed before my eyes, like what they say happens when you die. I remembered every moment and Ven was in all of it. Smiling, laughing, making light of things when I was scared shitless. And then I saw my own death. I heard Ven crying for me to stay."

Aqua touches her hand to her lips. That sounded terrible, but Tay's tone told her that isn't even the worst part.

"And then Hades offered his deal. Life in exchange for killing one guy."

Aqua nods. Sounds like Hades alright. She remembers Hades offering Ven a deal as well the last time she'd visited the coliseum She almost opens her mouth to tell Tay that story. Not doubt he would enjoy hearing how Ven had thumbed his nose at the God of the Dead, but he's already started talking again.

"I wanted so desperately to be alive again that I didn't really care what Hades wanted in return," Tay continues, eyebrows turning down in anger. "The fucking idiot I was, I agreed." He tosses the medallion and catches it, squeezing it hard. "I woke up, alive, and with Hades standing over me. He warned me against double crossing him, saying he had complete control over me until our deal was met. The man he wanted me to kill was Hercules who was -"

"Wait," Aqua interrupts. "Herc?"

"Yeah. You know him?" Tay says, surprised and then quickly adds. "I didn't kill him. This kid, Sora, made sure of that."

"Sora?" Aqua nearly shouts and Tay jumps.

"You know him too?"

"Yeah…" Aqua says distractedly. She let's out a sigh of relief. "Xehanort never got to them."

Tay's brow furrows in confusion. "Sora's a keyblade wielder too," he says slowly. "Like you and Ven."

Aqua nods. "He was at MEKA with us."

"He knew Ven?"

"Yeah," Aqua says, wondering how Sora, Riku, and Kairi were. How much they had grown. "We were a family…" She gets lost in her thoughts for a moment. Tay is looking at her curiously and she smiles saying, "Looks like I'll need to tell you my story too, but I want to hear the end of yours. How did Sora help you and what was he doing at the Coliseum?"

"He was searching for...something? Someone? I'm not really sure," Tay says, apologetically. "After Sora and Herc freed me from Hades control, I didn't stick around to talk much."

"Oh," Aqua says, shoulders slumping. She wishes Tay could tell her more, but at least she knows for sure now that she had managed to save the kids from Xehanort. She meets Tay's eye again. "Then how did you end up down here?"

Tay half smiles. "Would you believe me if I said I came voluntarily?"

"Only if you believe I did too," Aqua replies, smiling as well. Tay tilts his head in surprise.

"Why did you -"

"Your story first," Aqua says with a smile.

Tay huffs. "Fine," he says. "But your story sounds a lot more interesting than mine." He pauses to collect his thoughts again and then says, "After they freed me, I went looking for Hades so I could teach him a lesson. Herc gave me this." Tay holds up the medallion. "It's called the Olympus Stone. It protects heroes from the draining effects of the Underworld. Keeps them strong." He holds it out to Aqua. "You seem to really like it."

Aqua takes it carefully, like it's made of glass. "I haven't seen light in so long," she says, running a finger over the engraved thunderbolt. "I'd forgotten how beautiful it was."

Tay reaches out and closes her hand over the medallion. "Keep it," he says and talks over her protests. "It'll probably work better for you. You seem like more of a hero."

Not knowing what to say, Aqua murmurs, "Thank you," and withdraws her hands from Tay's. She clears her throat. "So Hades?"

"Hades," Tay repeats, sitting back. "Let's just say he's not going to be bothering Herc for a while. And after I'd, you know, helped him 'reconsider' his actions, I started looking for a way to get back to Carinol, thinking that's where Ven would be. I'd noticed the souls in the Underworld were from all over. They weren't just from the Coliseum. Most had come from other worlds when they'd died, like me. So I searched the Underworld to see where they were coming in from and found this place." Tay gestures around. "The souls travel through the Dark Realm to get to the Underworld. It connects all the worlds."

"Really?" Aqua says. She had never seen any souls.

"Yeah, they're invisible or something down here," Tay says. "But I thought if souls came into the Dark Realm from every world then -"

"Then you could get to any world from the Dark Realm," Aqua says and Tay nods.

"That's the theory, but I haven't been able to prove it yet."

Aqua leans back, thinking. There could be hundreds of ways out. Thousands. She gets to her feet and tucks the Olympus Stone away. "We won't prove it sitting here," Aqua says, motioning for Tay to stand.

He clambers to her feet and she heads for the cave exit. "But you haven't told me your story yet," Tay says quickly.

Aqua doesn't slow, calling over her shoulder, "I'll tell you on the way." And Tay is left with no other choice, but to follow her.

…

"He's not doing anything now," Larxene complains, tapping on the crystal ball like it's a fish bowl. She glares at the small image of Ven sitting with his knees drawn tight to his chest on the 8th floor. As much as she's enjoyed watching Ven squirm under Namine's illusions this whole missions is starting to become a real bore. Now their plaything is having some sort of meltdown after Namine's latest attempt to trap him in his own nightmares. And a boring meltdown at that.

"As funny as it is to watch," Larxene says, catching the attentions of the others in the room. "Why haven't we taken the prize yet?"

Zexion peers at her through his overgrown bangs and then glances at Marluxia who is seated across from him at the table. The pink haired man takes a moment to compose his thoughts and says, "We will bring Ventus to Xemnas once he is ready. Namine has said that she will have him broken soon -"

"Namine isn't part of this Organization," Larxene says, putting her hands on the table. "She's the hired help and we're letting her set the rules. I say we dump this bullshit and just grab the X-blade bearer." Lightning crackles in her fingertips, singeing the already scarred surface. "If Xemnas wants him broken, I'll break him."

Marluxia looks her evenly in the eye. "The heroes of light gain their strength from their belief in their friends," he says, speaking slowly like he is speaking to a child. "Break that belief in Ventus, make him think his friends have abandoned him, and he'll be powerless. That's what our mission is and we must be patient while Namine manipulates his memories."

"Because that's working so well," Larxene snaps back. "She hasn't been able to hold him in any of these so called nightmares."

"It will takes some time for Namine to-"

"She's already had five chances," Larxene says, talking over Marluxia. "Ven's little groupie gang is already on the 3rd floor. You let her keep taking her sweet time and he's going to run right into his friends. How's that going to help convince him they've abandoned him?"

Zexion clears his throat and the other two look up. Namine stands in the doorway, surveying them with cool contempt. Without a word, she walks over to the chair set apart from the others. Picking up her sketchbook from the seat, she sits, and starts flipping through the book as Larxene approaches her.

"You had him trapped with the heartless," Larxene says, her tone accusatory. "For godsake, he wasn't even trying to get away." Namine keeps her eyes on the sketchbook in her lap and, annoyed, Larxene rips it out of her hands.

Namine jumps to her feet and tries to snatch the book back. Larxene holds it out of her reach and bends down so he face is level with the little witch. "Why did you let him out?" She demands.

"I didn't let him out," Namine replies through gritted teeth. She makes another futile grab for the sketchbook. "He'd breaking out. There's a part of him resisting."

"You mean you're not strong enough to break him." Larxene throws a look over her shoulder at Marluxia and Namine takes the opportunity to snatch her book back.

"I mean you're not telling me everything," Namine says, matching Larxene's glare. "You said Ven was alone."

Larxene grabs Namine's arm and wrenches her over to the crystal ball showing Ven still sitting on the floor. "See that, witch? He's alone. One lonely little keyblade brat getting the better of you."

Namine twists out of Larxene's hold with her face red. "He is not alone," she insists. "Ven can't see through my illusions. They are made entirely of his memories. They are as real to him as anything else he has ever seen, but someone who doesn't have the same memories wouldn't be fooled as easily. Someone is breaking him out of my traps."

Larxene laughs. "Are you hearing this nonsense?" She asks Marluxia and Zexion. Zexion is staring at the image on Ven on in the crystal ball, lost in thought and Marluxia has his gaze fixed on Namine.

"He is not alone," Namine repeats. "It's the only possibility."

Larxene waits for Marluxia to refute the girl, but the older Nobody seems to be considering what she is saying.

"Unbelievable," Larxene says throwing her hands in the air. "Being cooped up in this place has turned you all into crackpots." With a noise of disgust, Larxene storms out of the room only to be stopped at the doorway by Marluxia calling her back.

"Do not interfere, Larxene."

She scowls back at him. "I won't touch the precious X-blade wielder," she says. "Or the imaginary friend saving his ass," she adds, looking at Namine. "But I'm not going to let this mission crash and burn." With a wave of her hand, she summons a dark corridor and disappears into it.

…

Alone, Ven continues to pluck at his shirt, mesmerized by the lack of holes in it. A grin spreads across his face.

He remembers every terrifying moment of the heartless attack in the Keyblade Graveyard. More specifically, he remembers the first heartless that had jumped on him. And the way it had latched onto his shirt, ripping the thin material.

Except there is no hole now.

There is no indication that he'd been in the Keyblade Graveyard at all. The dusty red dirt should be on his shoes and covering his back where he'd been knocked down, but he is clean.

 _Don't let them fool you._

The person who'd pulled him free of the Neoshadows had told him that and now he realizes he's been duped all alone. He'd glimpsed the truth in Ansem's office. Each world he's gone to has been nothing but water color walls inhabited by paper doll people.

It's all fake and the missing hole in his shirt is the continuity error that proves this whole place is a lie.

And if none of it is real, there is no reason to fear any of it.

With new confidence, Ven pushes himself to his feet. The next white staircase down is in front of him and he starts down, not afraid of what awaits him at the bottom.

* * *

 **Yay for Tay!**

 **micaelaann. cruz : Tada! Tay explains all!**

 **Midori-chan37 : Oh yeah, Tay is hella awesome. I'm glad you didn't see it coming because I really wanted it to be a whaaaaat?! shocked moment**

 **LightzMusic22 : Tay = "mega super bae" I like it :) Show me if you draw him please! :D**

 **haha I love how you guys all started your reviews with oh my god**

 **And Ven! Yay for Ven!**

 **You ain't foolin' nobody anymore Namine! My boy's got it all figured out!**

 **Anyone want to guess at which world he is going to be in on the next floor? (Hint: There is a reason behind the order of the floors. It's not random.)**


	7. Past and Present

Chapter 7 _Past and Present_

"Roxas?"

At the third calling of his name, the Roxas looks up.

"Do you want the rest of this?" Axel asks, offering the last piece of fish meat.

On the other side of the small cooking fire, Roxas lifts his chin off his knees and scoots closer to take the food. His fingers are careful not to brush Axel's and he retreats back to his original position with his knees drawn tight to his chest.

Axel lets out a quiet sigh and stokes the fire with a stick, sending a few embers into the air. He watches Roxas swallow the last of their meager dinner and cautiously asks, "Are you still hungry?"

Roxas blue eyes shift briefly to him and then back to staring into the fire. "No."

Axel sighs again and looks up into the sky. The stars are just coming out and he takes comfort in how many there are. If the Organization is looking for them after their betrayal, the chances of them happening to search this world tucked into the back of the universe are slim.

Feeling eyes on him, Axel turns his head to catch Roxas staring at him. The blond drops his gaze, but not fast enough.

"Roxas?" Axel asks, wondering if the other boy finally wants to talk to him.

"Stop calling me that," Roxas mumbles.

Axel leans forward. "That's your name," he says softly.

"No," Roxas replies, shaking his head. "That's the name of your friend. The one you think I am. But I don't know you. I'm not Roxas."

"Yes, you are," Axel insists, raising his voice as Roxas gets to his feet. "You just don't remember." He gets to his feet as well and tries to move closer to Roxas, but Roxas moves back.

"Why?" Roxas demands. "Why wouldn't I remember?"

"You lost your heart," Axel says, hoping for some flicker of recognition in Roxas' eyes. "You're a Nobody and most Nobodies have trouble remembering who they were as Somebodies." Roxas crosses his arms and looks down, looking more vulnerable than Axel has ever seen him. "You don't remember anything?" Axel asks softly, stepping closer. "Not even little random bits?"

Roxas shakes his head and slowly looks up at him. Axel tries to read his expression, gauge if he's suspicious or scared or something else. But after a moment he realizes Roxas has no expression. Emotionless.

"What?" Roxas asks and Axel realizes he is staring.

"Nothing," Axel replies and runs his hands through his hair with a sigh. "Look, Rox. I know this is hard, but can you trust me? Just a little bit?"

Roxas looks him up and down. "Why?"

"Because...because you're name is Roxas," Axel says sadly. "And I'm your best friend. Axel. And I know you don't remember, but that used to mean something."

Roxas looks to his right, out over the ocean. "I want to remember."

"I want to help you remember," Axel says, moving closer. He wants to reach to Roxas, but he holds himself back. "So what do you say? Can I call you Roxas?"

"Roxas…" He repeats it slow. Testing it out. "I guess its as good a name as any," Roxas says, glancing at Axel.

Axel laughs a little at that. "I like it."

"Axel…" Roxas hesitates. "Can you tell me about me?"

"'Course I can, kiddo," Axel says softly and, leading Roxas back to their small fire, he sits down to tell him everything.

…

White tile turns to dark stone in the blink of an eye and Ven barely has the time to notice the change before a fist comes out of nowhere, connecting with his jaw.

With a grunt of pain, Ven hits the ground face first, grabbing his aching cheek. He rolls onto his back with spots in his eyes and freezes, seeing his attacker.

Keric stands over him, licking his lips as he leers at Ven. "Don't look so worried Veni," he say. "It's just me."

Panic wells up in Ven's chest and he scrambles to his feet, lunging for the door. Keric slams into him from behind, pinning him to the door.

"You know better than that, Veni," Keric growls in his ear, hands wandering down Ven's sides.

Ven throws Keric off him and spins around, looking him over properly for the first time. Keric is the teenager Ven remembers, pale hair and colorless eyes. He hasn't aged a day, but Ven has and for the first time it is Ven looking down at Keric who is now an inch before his eye level.

From somewhere far off, there is a pounding sound and Ven turns back to the door, remembering what had happened in Ansem's office. "Who's there?" Ven asks, pounding on his side of the door.

Keric grabs him by his shirt and throws him backward. Ven ends up on the ground again and Keric is on him before he can get back up. Ven might be bigger now, but Keric is still strong and with his hand around Ven's throat, he lifts Ven's head up and slams it back down with enough force to make Ven see stars.

He can still hear the pounding, but it's faint. Not even close to the way the Ansem's office had shook with the sound.

Keric's face is inches from his own. The other boy laughs. "He's not breaking you out this time," he says in a low voice. "I built these walls stronger. You're trapped in here. Just you, and me."

Ven tries to throw Keric off, summoning his keyblade. But the other boy pins his arm down, digging his sharp nails into Ven's wrist. "Pathetic," Keric says and the pounding sound slows. "No one is coming to save you."

Ven stares down Keric, glaring. The boy really doesn't look like he has aged a day. Like Zack hadn't aged and Vanitas hadn't aged. Like all the places he's been to have been just like his memories and all have faded away with no lasting trace.

The pounding stops.

"I don't need someone to save me." A smile slowly forms on Ven's lips. "Nobody needs to save me because there is nothing to save me from. This isn't real," he says and Keric freezes, eyes bulging. "You're not real."

Wrenching his arm out of Keric's slackened grip, Ven swings his keyblade around and feels a satisfying impact that make his whole arm shudder. Keric falls off him with little grace and drags himself away from Ven, mouth open in shock. Blood is leaking past Keric's hand over the wound in his side and, getting to his feet, Ven sees blood is dripping from the tip of his keyblade too.

He looks up when Keric summons a dark corridor. The disheveled boy heaves himself upright and fixes Ven with a murderous look as he retreats into the darkness. "You've only made things worse for yourself," he snarls before disappearing completely.

With him, the rest of Carinol disappears as well and Ven is back in the white castle like nothing had happened. Just like all the other floors. Or it would have been, if it hadn't been for the blood.

Unlike returning from the Keyblade Graveyard, evidence of his fight with Keric remains. The other boy's blood still covers the tip of Ven's keyblade. It drips to the floor, staining the tile, and Ven raises his keyblade up to examine it.

Had he been wrong? Had Keric been real and he had struck him down? He sure had felt real when Ven had sunk his keyblade into him. But what did that mean for the rest what has happened to him?

Ven let's his keyblade disappear wondering what parts of what his is seeing are real and which are not.

…

Zexion looks up from the crystal ball at the opening of the dark corridor a few steps away. Namine stumbles out, her Keric disguise fading off her in wisps like the illusion it is. She falls to her knees with one hand clasped around the wound in her side and the other keeping her from falling on her face.

"Namine." Marluxia scowls as he moves to the girl. "That was a disgrace."

Zexion steps forward as well, hesitantly reaching out to help Namine, but he retracts his hand quickly when she lifts her head to glare daggers at Marluxia. She opens her mouth to retort, but Marluxia speaks over her.

"He is growing stronger, not weaker. You're illusions no longer scare him. Drastic measures must be taken and if you are not up for the task -"

"I have it handled," Namine spits out through gritted teeth. "Curaja," she mutters and groans as the green light falls on the bloody gash in her side. After a moment, she straightens up to look Marluxia in the eye.

Her dress has a large tear in it and the red blood stain is the brightest color in the room. She stalks forward, brushing past Zexion to stand at the crystal ball.

"Ven has done well," she says, putting both hands on the orb and leaning over it. Under her fingers, Ven is making his way to the next floor undeterred. "He bested me and that in itself deserves a reward."

Zexion's eyes flicker to Marluxia who puts his hands behind his back. "What are you talking about?" Marluxia asks and Zexion looks back to Namine as the witch laughs lightly.

"I'm going to give him what he wants more than anything. I'm going to let him see his friends." Namine waves a hand over the crystal ball surface and watches the image darken. "One last time."

* * *

 **dun dun DUN!**

 **LightzMusic22: Thanks! I'm glad you love Tay like I do. No Gary/Mary Stu's allowed in my fic!**

 **micaelaann. cruz : Aw thanks! :D**

 **Amestri: Thanks for letting me know about the name change and duuuude I love Larxene. Like, I hate her because she's evil, but I love her because she's such a bitch. She is way more interesting than the other dull losers in Org XIII. And I'm keeping my lips sealed on who is helping Ven, but we're really close to the reveal.**

 **Ugh why do I make things so tragic for Axel and Roxas? Like I could have just let them be happy and be writing fluff right now for them, but noooooo I had to go and make Roxas amnesic.**

 **So I beat up Keric to make myself feel better. Always a good time even if it's really Namine pretending to be Keric… so really beating up Keric and Namine at the same time…. nice**


	8. Shock

Chapter 8 _Shock_

"ARRGHHH!" Donald swings his staff like a golf club and sends a spray of beach sand into the air. "We've been tricked!"

"Um, Donald," Goofy says, approaching with his hand over his face to protect against the sand that continues to fly. "Maybe you should calm down-"

"Calm down?" Donald shouts and Goofy jumps back into Sora, Riku, and Kairi. "We've been here for-" Donald cuts himself off, thinking. Time doesn't seem to pass the same in Castle Oblivion. "Well, we've been here for a really long time and there's nothing here! Just beach and sand and more beach!"

He gestures angrily at the horizon in front of them. The beach they are on stretches as far as they can see and behind them is a mirror image. It's like they've been walking in place on this endless beach ever since entering the illusion on the 3rd floor and everyone is as frustrated as Donald.

But Kairi isn't as pessimistic. "The other floors had a way out," she says. Taking out the Hydra had let them out of the Coliseum and beating the huge monster in Agrabah had brought them back to the white castle. "There has to be a way out of here too," Kairi insists. "We just have to keep looking."

Donald scowls. "Have you lost your mind? We're trapped. That girl, Namine, tricked us. She was probably lying about everything. Ven included."

"Hey," Sora snaps. "Ven is here." He looks around for support, but his friends can't meet his eyes. They shuffle their feet and stare out at the ocean

"He's here," Sora says, more aggressively than he wants to.

"We all want Ven to be here, Sora," Riku says, frowning. "But that doesn't mean he is."

Sora shakes his head. "I can feel it. His heart was in mine for awhile and I can feel that he's close by."

Riku turns his head, mumbling something. "What?" Sora demands and Riku crosses his arms.

"You couldn't feel his heart when you had. How can you feel it now that you don't?"

"I don't know, okay," Sora says, throwing his arms up. "But he's here. I'm not giving up on him."

Goofy speaks up in his defense. "I think Sora's right," he says. "We have to hope for the best."

Sora turns to him, eyes narrowed. "There's no hoping. He's here."

Donald snorts. "Yeah, like the way out of this sand trap," he mutters.

The bickering only gets worse and, resisting the urge to smack each of them, Kairi walks off on her own. Sighing, she plops down, cross legged, at the water's edge. Her fingers dig into the wet sand. Despite the realness of the ocean, she knows it's fake. The endless beach is a warped memory of Ven's turned real and it's one they need to find a way out of.

Watching the waves, she digs the hole deeper and the sand gives way to something harder. Looking down, she frowns and brushes off more sand from a piece of a wood buried a few inches deep.

Grabbing it, she tugs and digs out a little more before the board slides free and she can see it is a good six feet long. She stares at it, wondering where it came from, and looks back in the hole. The end of another board is poking out of the hole she already dug and she quickly digs it out as well.

Laying the two boards down in the sand, she looks at them and then back out over the water. An idea starts to come to her.

Gathering up the boards, she marches back to the boys and throws them down in the middle of them. "If you can all stop the bickering for the moment," Kairi says. "We're building a raft."

…

The raft isn't that big, but each of the boys has found a corner of it to sulk in leaving Kairi alone in the middle of their vessel in the uncomfortable silence. On the back right corner of the raft - looking back at the beach he'd hated so much - Donald grumbles to himself, shooting glares over his shoulder at Sora at the front of the raft.

Kairi rolls her eyes at all of them, leaning back on her hands. She gets their frustration. It's hot, and they are all stressed and scared, but they can't start turning on each other. Building the raft had brought them together somewhat, but now that they have set sail, all four of them have returned to their stubborn anger and she for one is sick of it.

Without much other choice in ways to get away from them, Kairi kicks off her shoes and jumps into the water, making sure to splash Sora on the way in. She surfaces to him shaking water off himself.

"What are you doing, Kairi?" He asks without the smile she'd been hoping for.

"Making the best of things," she says, leaning back and kicking her legs. The water isn't cool like she'd expected. It's not that different of a temperature from the air. It's odd and she goes to taste some, see if it tastes like salt water.

Something slimy touches her ankle. She gasps, kicking out on instinct.

"You okay?" Sora stands up looking at her worried. The others look over too.

Kairi nods, rubbing her ankle. "Seaweed," she says, moving back towards the raft. "You going to come in or wha-"

A thin and slimy tentacle wraps around her ankle and yanks her down so fast she doesn't have time to suck in a breath. Kicking does nothing. Looking down, Kairi can see nothing but dark water below and the gray tentacle dragging her to the depths.

Her keyblade appears in her hand. The water slows down her swing, but she still manages to sever the tentacle in one hit. Free, Kairi swims hard, breaking the surface with a gasp.

"Kairi!"

Sora, Riku, Donald, and Goofy all rush to the side of the raft closest to her, making the raft rock dangerously at the sudden movement.

"Stop messing around, Kairi," Riku says, taking a step keep them balanced.

"I'm not messing around!" Kairi shouts back, scanning the water around her. "Something grabbed me. It's -"

A thick gray tentacle shoots out of the water and wraps around Kairi's torso. She has just enough time to hear Sora shout her name before she is pulled under. She summons her keyblade once more, hacking at the tentacle, but this one is tougher than the first. More tentacle move past her and she freezes in what she is doing, watching them head straight for the shadow on the surface that is the raft.

One tentacle grabs a corner of the raft and yanks, flipping it and sending the four boys into the water. Kairi mumbles out a scream of anger and fear. The tentacles grab Sora, Riku, Donald, and Goofy before they can react.

With renewed fervor, Kairi attacks the tentacle around her waist again. Nothing seems to slow it down, however, as it pulls her deeper into the water. Beside her, her friends are being dragged down as well, fighting fruitlessly against their tentacles.

Riku suddenly stops and stares with a look of horror past Kairi. She twists to look as well and the sight before her makes her blood run cold. The tangled mass of tentacles they're ensnared in is attached to the head if the eyeless gray blob can be called that. Teeth fill its gaping mouth in three rows and Kairi lets out another closed mouth scream.

The monster starts to pull her to its mouth faster than the others and Kairi tries to think through her panic. She's been trained for this. This time, she won't be damsel in distress.

A moment before the teeth chomp down on her, she drives her keyblade forward into the soft flesh above the huge mouth. The monster roars in pain. The tentacle around Kairi tightens and starts to pull her back, but she lunges forward and stabs the monster again. Another howl reverberates through the water and she stabs a third time, using all her weight as the weak monster finally lets go of its hold on her.

For a moment, she's pressing her keyblade into the gray monster as it goes limp and then it's gone and she's falling chest first onto white tile. There are several thumps behind her and she looks back to see her friends lifting their heads off the floor too.

"We're back in the castle," Sora says, looking around.

"Yeah," Kairi says, pushing herself to her feet. "I think the monster was the ke-"

She's halfway upright when a lightning spell hits her. Her body goes rigid as pain and electricity race through her limbs. She screams, or tries to, and crumples as the spell ends. The next thing she knows she is opening her eyes to Sora kneeling over her, cupping her face.

"Kairi," he says relieved.

"What...happened?" Kairi groans and turns her head to look past Sora. Riku is standing between her a woman in a black coat, laughing to herself on the other side of the room.

"They told me you keyblade wielders were made of stronger stuff," the blond woman says, still amused. "Guess they were talking about the full grown ones."

"Who are you?' Riku demands, the hand not holding his keyblade clenching into a fist. Donald and Goofy beside him fall deeper into battle stances.

The woman stops laughing and all trace of amusement drains from her face in an instant. "The name's Larxene," she says, dragging and hand over her slicked back hair.

Holding onto Sora's shoulder, Kairi pulls herself upright. "Are you here to terminate us like your friend Vexen?" She stumbles forward, out of Sora's hold and Riku reaches out to steady her.

"Hmm," Larxene says, touching her chin. "Terminate yes. Like Vexen, not so much." She throws her arms out to the sides and knives appear between each finger, acting like claws as she makes a fist. "I don't care about the experiment. I'm out to protect my ass and you, kiddies, are a liability."

...

It takes Ven a moment to recognize where he is. The last time he'd been in the Pride Lands, he'd been all of a foot tall, looking out at the world from the perspective of a lion cub, but this visit he hasn't taken on a new form. He's human this time and Ven smiles at that. Another continuity error

But the smile slips away at the realization of what part of the Pride Lands he is in. The gorge is unforgettable. It's high walls stretch in front of him and behind with no end in sight. He approaches the rock wall and touches the shear surface. Cracks and ledges are few and far between.

Trailing his hand along the wall, Ven keeps his neck craned up, looking for a spot with enough handholds to at least give climbing out a try. He searches for a minute before stopping and summoning his keyblade.

"I'm an idiot," he mutters to himself, tossing the keyblade up. It arcs in the sky and comes back to him transformed into his glider.

With a smile, he steps onto the skateboard like glider and feels the familiar vibration under his feet. It is as eager to get out of this place as he is.

He braces his knees, about to ascend, when a low rumble catches his attention. Loose rocks on the gorge floor bounce in place, jumping higher and higher as the rumbling grows louder.

Ven's throat goes dry and he turns around, dreading what he is going to find.

A herd of wildebeests are stampeding through the gorge, kicking up a huge dust cloud. He's right in their path and they'll be on him in seconds.

Spurring his glider in the other direction, Ven leans low. He urges his glider higher, but something's wrong. Despite his urgings, the glider won't rise higher than the tossing heads of the wildebeests. And his speed isn't enough. The stubby horns of the leading wildebeest knocks the back of Ven's glider, nearly pitching him off it, and he ends up veering sharply.

His board scrapes the wall, but he manages not to crash. Any lead he had on the stampede is gone now and he is caught amongst its front runners. The one beside him knocks into him and he knocks into another that snorts in anger and tosses its head.

Ven windmills his arms, fighting for balance as his board is battered by the wildebeests. The animals' sharp hooves are tearing up the ground, sending dirt and rocks flying in their wake. He can only think what they would do to him if he falls.

Up ahead a tree comes into view in the middle of the path. It's the frailest looking tree he has ever seen, but his glider isn't looking sturdy at the moment either. He doesn't have time to time, just jumps, and the glider disappears under the vicious hooves.

A branch smacks Ven in the face as he grabs onto the sturdiest looking part of the tree. He winces, blinking back tears, but manages to hold on. The tree shakes with the vibrations that fill the gorge, but it holds. The herd parts around the tree and not a single wildebeest crashes into it even if their horns come to close for comfort.

The last wildebeest dashes past him and Ven lets out the breath he'd been holding. Letting go of the branch he'd been clinging to, he drops back to the ground. He summons his keyblade to him, inspecting it for damage the stampede had caused, but it looks unharmed.

The dust cloud behind the wildebeests fades and rubbing dirt out of his eyes, Ven blinks, looking in the direction the animals had come from. Something blue is lying there. Bright blue, like…

"No," Ven says with a sharp inhale of breath. He sprints forward, tears collecting in the corners of his eyes. "Aqua!"

He searches for movement as he approaches, but Aqua is lifeless, lying facedown in the dirt. Her tights are bloodied and ripped up by hooves. One arm is thrown out, protective like, over...

"Terra!" Ven cries, falling to the ground beside his best friend, lying flat on his back with one arm twisted out at an unnatural angle. "No….this….Terra, please!"

Ven grabs both Terra's shoulders and shakes him, but Terra's eyes stay stubbornly closed. Cuts litter his face and he's covered in the dust of the stampede. Tears start to cloud Ven's vision and fall as he turns to Aqua.

"Aqua," he chokes out, rolling her onto her back. Her head lolls, eyes shut. "Wake up...please wake up." She's as unresponsive as Terra.

Taking the hand of Terra's good arm and Aqua's hand as well, Ven gives himself over to his sobs, letting them shake his body. Tears roll down his face as a numb feeling spreads through his body. He sees nothing, feels nothing, except the cold hands of his friends held tight against his chest.

"I can't…" His voice breaks. "You can't leave me like this…"

Sucking in a breath, Ven grips his friends has tighter, squeezing his eyes shut. "This isn't real. This isn't real. This isn't -"

Terra and Aqua's hands are ripped from his and Ven's eyes shoot open. The white walls are back and his friends are gone.

The tears don't stop. He cries until he's out of tears and his sobs make his lungs burn. And when even those stop, he stays huddled in the fetal position, staring without seeing. Feeling as lifeless as Terra and Aqua had been.

* * *

 **Where has the time gone? I didn't realize how behind I was in getting this chapter out. Sorry. I wasn't looking forward to writing this Pride Lands scene so it took me a while to force myself to do it.**

 **Thank you micaelaann. cruz** **and** **Amestri** **for reviewing last chapter!**

 **See ya next time :D**


	9. The Man in the Shadows

Chapter 9 _The Man in the Shadows_

Ven stares at the curly-top hill in front of him, thinking the muted colors of Halloween Town match his mood perfectly. Since stepping onto the gray grass, he hasn't been able to drag himself a step farther into the next world, afraid to start something he can't stop.

As if sensing his resistance to move, heartless appear in a half circle around him, leaving the only way out up the steep hill. Ven summons his keyblade into his hand, but it is all he can do to keep from dropping it as he falls into a battle stance.

He's tired. So incredibly tired of these endless fights. All rigged so he loses even when he wins.

The first heartless surges forward. A Search Ghost. Ven raises his keyblade in a block and stumbles when the heartless hits it. A Wight Knight is on his next and Ven blocks again, taking a half hearted swing at the heartless when it's knocked back.

Gargoyles flap over head, content to watch the other heartless do the work. They're hanging just a little too close though and Ven swings his keyblade over his head, scattering them.

Two yellow orbs float up next to him and he steps back. Search Ghosts jump out, slashing at him and he takes another step back. The steep grade of the curly top hill is dangerous footing, but the heartless give him no room to move.

Unbothered by the terrain, the hoard of Wight Knights surge forward in a single mass of flailing limbs. "Fira," Ven says and sends a fireball into the midst of them. The small explosion knocks down most of the group, but a few reach Ven and he is forced to parry their strikes.

Panic wells up in Ven's chest. His eyes search the treeline for Terra and Aqua to come bursting into the scene. They'd come to his rescue last time he'd been trapped on this hill - saved him like they always did when he needed them most - but all that comes out of the trees are more heartless.

Ducking under the swinging fist of a Search Ghost, Ven steps back from a Gargoyle that drops down to his level. His barely has the space to stand. He's at the very top of the hill, balanced on the smooth curl with the long drop behind him.

"Thunder!" A hole is blasted in the endless swarm for a moment, but more heartless press forward. "Terra!" Ven shouts, slashing out to keep the heartless at bay. "Aqua!"

He can't keep the desperation out of his voice. Not for the situation he is in, but for the waning hope that what he had seen in the Pride Lands hadn't been real.

A Gargoyle crashes into his shoulder and he loses his footing. Arms windmilling, he manages not to fall off the hill and strikes out at the heartless that had collided with him. He nicks it in the side, but it's comrade dive bombs him as he does so.

The heavy heartless knocks into Ven and suddenly the little footing he had is gone. Falling, his hands reach out for something, anything, to break his fall and a gloved hand grabs his forearm, nearly wrenching his arm out of it's socket.

Biting down on a cry of pain, Ven looks up. "Terra?" He whispers hopefully, but gasps seeing gold eyes and black hair. "Vanitas!"

Vanitas starts at his shout of his name and his grip on Ven's arm releases. Ven drops, but only for a second. He lands butt first on white tile and stares up at Vanitas who is leaning over him with unreadable expression.

"You…" Ven pushes himself out from under Vanitas and scrambles to his feet, summoning his keyblade. "St-stay back."

Vanitas straightens up and looks Ven over with narrowed eyes. "Why can you see me now?" He asks half to himself.

"What?" Ven asks, his keyblade lowering a fraction. Vanitas takes a step closer and Ven drops into a battle position. "Hey!" He shouts. "I said stay back."

Vanitas stares at him a moment and then crosses his arms. He leans back in a casual way. "This the thanks I get for saving your ass?"

"Saving me?" Ven says incredulously. "You're the one who's been tormenting me!" With the fear and rage that has been building up since he first woke up boiling over, Ven launches himself at Vanitas, swinging keyblade at the other man's head.

Vanitas twists out of the way and summons his keyblade to block Ven's follow up swing. "Ven," he grunts, throwing him back, but Ven rushes him again.

Ven whips his keyblade around backhanded and Vanitas swings his keyblade as well. He knocks Ven's blade away and in the blink of an eye he slams his elbow into the side of Ven's head.

White spots explode in Ven's vision and he hits the ground hard. Rolling onto his back, he tries to get up, but Vanitas drops on top of him, pinning his arms.

"Are you really that much of an idiot?" Vanitas demands, leaning down far enough that his long hair brushes Ven's face. "Don't let them fool you."

"I saw you," Ven says, straining against Vanitas' grip on his sword arm. "Multiple times."

"No," Vanitas says, annoyed. "What you saw was my mask."

Vanitas shoves off of Ven and moves out of striking distance. He stands with his feet apart and his arms out to his sides. "Look at me, Ven," he says. "I'm not the one who's been messing with your head."

Ven rises into a crouch, keyblade still at the ready. The Vanitas in the mask had still been 15. Wearing the black and red body suit Ven remembers him in. But this Vanitas had new clothes along with a ten year older body.

Seeing Ven lower his keyblade, Vanitas takes a step closer, keeping his hands up. "There's an imposter pretending to be me and tricking you," he says. "They're changing your memories so you don't know what's real. But look at me, Ven. I'm real."

And Ven believes him. Because he's not a memory come back to haunt him. He's different.

His hair is still black and spiky but it hangs longer now. Unlike Ven, his new clothes fit his older body. He looks more human than before in a tight, black, padded leather jacket with a high collar and only half the buttons done. The jacket blends into pants stuffed into boots along with the black gloves on his hands.

"Last time I saw you, you were…" Ven trails off and raises a hand to his heart.

"I'm still in your heart if that's what you're thinking," Vanitas says. "But I'm also here, walking and talking."

"How?" Ven asks. Vanitas looks as real as ever, but Ven knows he is telling the truth about still being part of Ven's heart. He would feel it otherwise.

"Don't ask me," Vanitas says. " I've been too busy dragging you out of traps to figure any of this out."

Realization dawns on Ven. "You're the one that's been saving me!" He exclaims "You were outside Ansem's study with the knocking. And in Neverland and -"

"Yeah. It was me," Vanitas says, interrupting him. He turns his head away to glare at the wall. "You're welcome."

A small smiles curls Ven's lip. "I was going to say thank you."

"Well you don't need to." Vanitas glances at him and shoves his hands in his pockets. "Since I'm stuck in your heart it's in my best interest to keep you breathing. Don't thank me." The gruff tone he takes on only makes Ven smile more and catching Vanitas' eye, he nods towards the next staircase.

"Are you going to stay with me, then?" Ven asks.

Vanitas shrugs and looks away again. "Guess so," he replies.

Ven looks at the stairs, wondering with a clenching in his gut what he's going to be faced with next. "Thank you," he whispers to Vanitas, looking at his shoes instead of his face.

Vanitas doesn't say anything, but Ven doesn't doubt he heard him.

…

"Who is he talking to, Namine?" Marluxia demands, staring down the young girl over the crystal ball between them. After watching Ven escape yet again from another of Namine's memory traps, Marluxia is as close to seething as a Nobody can get.

"Vanitas," Namine whispers like she is talking to herself. Without a glance at Marluxia, Namine hurries over to her chair where her sketchbook is resting. Snatching it up, she flips through the pages of Ven's strongest memories to find the one she's looking for.

"Vanitas?" Zexion asks from the table. His nose might have been buried in a book, but he had been listening to the other too. "Isn't he the persona you took on to scare Ven?"

Namine nods. From Ven's memories she had crafted her masked disguise, but in the drawing on the last page of her book, Vanitas isn't masked.

It's Vanitas after Ven had destroyed the X-blade, when they had been together in Ven's heart. She had drawn the scene from Ven's perspective, offering a hand to Vanitas who reached out slowly to take it.

Marluxia makes his way over to her and looks down on the drawing as well. "What does this mean?" He asks Namine. She doesn't answer for a long moment, closing her eyes and raising her hand to her mouth in thought.

When she opens her eyes, she traces her finger over the curve of Vanitas cheek in her drawing. "Ven is not alone," Namine says, echoing her theory from earlier. "A remnant of Vanitas has been with him all along. He is the one who can see through the false memories."

"He can break your illusions?" Marluxia says in interest, looking down at Namine's drawing. "How?"

Namine flips back in her book to the sketch of Halloween Town and the tide of heartless cornering Ven on the curly top hill. "Vanitas isn't fooled by the twisted versions of Ven's memories," she says. "He and Ven had separate hearts and their memories aren't the same. He knows it isn't all real because he isn't blinded by emotions and fear like Ven is."

"And where does this information get us, Namine?" Marluxia asks. "With or without Vanitas, if Ven passes the next floor, he will reach the others and this mission will be a failure."

Namine waves him off, taking her seat and flipping through her book once more. "One floor is all I need," she says without looking up. "Now that I know the rules of the game, they don't stand. Keep the red haired bitch and the others off the fourth floor and you'll have your prize for the Superior."

Marluxia nods approvingly. "Larxene is dealing with the other keyblade wielders as we speak."

Good," Namine says, grinning as she find the right page. "Then the trap is set. For both Ven and Vanitas this time."

Across the room, Zexion stares unseeing at his book open on the table. Despite Namine's confidence, the once mighty Organization XIII is starting to show cracks. He never would have thought it, but the keyblade wielders might just make it out of Castle Oblivion intact. As long as they can hold it together for one more floor.

And if they make it, they won't be the only one's breaking free.

* * *

 **So what illusion is Namine going to make next? It's got to be a memory both Ven and Vanitas share and it's got to be something terrible….hmmm… ;)**

 **BUT LET"S TALK ABOUT THE SUPER EXCITING THING THAT HAPPENED THIS CHAPTER**

 **VANITASSSSSSSS *fangirl scream***

 **Oh it was Vanitas all along! Helping Ven, being awesome, and now he's all moody and embarrassed that he was acting like a good guy for a change :D**

 **Reason #5678 I need KH3 right now: NEW OUTFITS**

 **All the BBS characters are older and I need to give them new clothes! Vanitas most desperately (the grass skirt look is so 2002)**

 **I did my best for Vani, but if anyone has a cool idea for new clothes for the others (Ven especially) that you wouldn't mind me using or know some fan art I can use for inspiration send them to me pls!**

 **micaelaann. cruz** **:** **Cliffhangers are my favvv. I have to restrain myself from having one at the end of every chapter.**

 **RoseShine 76** **:** **OMG welcome to the Zactus cult! :D Lol I got off from a shitty day at work to find I had like 9 emails and I was like wtf and they were all notifications from you favoriting and following this series and it made my day so much! And you're so nice! Thank you!**

 **Amestri** **: Thanks! Sora and the gang might be almost to Ven, but Namine is ready to make this last shot count**


	10. The Face of Fear

Chapter 10 _The Face of Fear_

"Where are we?" Vanitas asks, peering over the counter of the bar. Every bottle, plate, and glass is stacked in perfect lines that give the place an unlived in feeling. Ven sits on a barstool beside him, looking around at the tables and chairs set up in perfect symmetry around the room.

"The 7th Heaven bar," Ven replies, running his hand over the smooth bar top. "I've never seen it empty before."

Vantas shrugs. The name doesn't tell him much. He hops up on a barstool and leans back against the bar. "So what memory of yours are we in for now?"

"I don't know," Ven says. He leans his elbows on the table and rubs his eyes. "I have a lot of memories about this place."

And in his mind he can see them all playing out starting with the first time he'd walked through the doors and met the Traverse Town gang. And the surprise that Zack lived there too. They'd made so many memories in this place. From simple movie dates in Zack's room to the night of Tifa and Cloud's wedding when Zack's touches on his bare chest had left him breathless.

There had been bad times too. The day the two of them broke up. He'd come into the bar crying, embarrassed that everyone was looking at him. But the next time he walked through those doors, all had been forgiven.

Vanitas shifts closer to him, jarring him out of reminiscing. "Every memory you've been thrown into has been terrible," he says. "What's the worst memory you have of this place?"

"I don't kno-"

Ven cuts himself off with a small gasp. His worst memory, his most terrible nightmare, hadn't been in the bar. It had been just outside.

Ven stands, almost tripping in his haste.

"Ven?" Vanitas asks, rising as well. Ven can only stare at him wide eyed. Vanitas reaches out a hand towards him, but Ven spins around and sprints from the bar, shoving tables and chairs out of the way.

"Ven!" Vanitas shouts, but Ven's already out the door.

Outside, the first district of Traverse Town is as eerily quiet as the bar had been. Ven races for the side alley off of Cid's shop and rounds the corner at full speed only to pull up short. The imposter Vanitas is crouched halfway down the alley. At his feet is a pool of blood and a body.

Zack.

"Stop!" Ven screams and jumps into action again. He grabs the imposter by the shoulders and throws him back. Dropping down beside Zack, Ven's hands accidentally touch the sticky blood. His fingers leave blood stains on Zack's face as he cups his cold cheeks. "Zack," he murmurs, his voice thick. There is no spark of life in Zack's eyes. "Say something, please…"

"You're too late." Behind him, the imposter Vanitas rises to his feet. His face is covered with the black mask, but there is a smugness to his voice. "You've lost him forever."

Squeezing his eyes shut as tears start to well up, Ven shakes his head. "No. It can't…" he says, his voice trembling. But he doesn't know what happened to Zack after he left his bleeding out in this alley. If Zack had lived, wouldn't he have come save him by now from this prison of white walls and terrible memories?

A tear rolls down his face as he opens his eyes. Looking past the imposter, Ven sees Vanitas has appeared at the entrance to the alley. Vanitas looks on with his mouth slightly open and his eyebrows drawn together.

"I know you're not the real Vanitas," Ven says to the imposter, sticking to what he knows is real. He rises to his feet and stares into his reflection in the mask. He looks afraid, broken.

The imposter shrugs and the black mask fades away like it had been made of smoke. Blond hair tumbles out and to Ven's surprise it's a girl hiding behind the disguise. She's pretty and only fifteen, but her eyes are cold like she has seen enough evil for a lifetime.

"I might not be the real Vanitas, but he really did this," the imposter says. She gestures to Zack's body, but Ven turns his head the other way. "He killed your Zack. Just for fun."

Ven meets Vanitas eye. He hasn't moved from his spot at the entrance to the alley and at Ven's glance, he looks away.

"It's time to stop running, Ven," the girl says. She steps closer and touches Ven's cheek. "There is no one left to run to."

Ven slaps her hand away and she laughs. "You can't save yourself, can you?" She says, smiling. "You've always needed someone else to do that. But look what happens to the people who try."

She grabs Ven's head and forces him to look at Zack. Her grip is strong and seeing Zack's eyes glazed over takes all the fight out of Ven.

"They die," the girl says, her grip tightening. "Zack, Terra, Aqua, Master Eraqus. All dead. All because of you." She let's go of Ven and he stumbles.

He wrenches his eyes away from Zack and sees the girl summon a dark corridor. She pauses on the threshold, looking back.

"How can you think you're worth saving?" she says, shaking her head in disgust. A moment later the dark corridor swallows her up.

As the portal fades, Ven feels a touch on his shoulder. "Ven," Vanitas says in a soft voice.

Ven turns on Vanitas and shoves him in the chest. "Make it stop!" He shouts, tears caught in the corners of his eyes finally fall. "You said none of this was real!"

"I…" Vanitas is at a loss for words and with an angry shout, Ven shoves him again.

"Make this disappear like the other memories!"

Ven turns back to Zack's body. He raises a hand to his quivering lips and drops to his knees.

"I...I can't," Vanitas confesses, approaching Ven slowly. "We left… and I don't know what happened here either. If Zack-" He stops himself and kneels down next to Ven, putting a hand on his shoulder. "I don't know if I killed-"

Ven throws Vantias' hand off his shoulder and Vanitas falls back. "Just go away!" He shouts and Vanitas slides back on the ground away from him.

"Ven, I'm sorry," he starts to say, but Ven cuts him off.

"Just-" Ven takes a shuddering breath. "Just leave me alone, please." Smoothing a hand over Zack's hair, Ven leans over Zack's still body. Tears drip from his cheeks onto Zack's. With a shaking hand, Ven closes Zack's eyes, bending down to press a kiss on Zack's forehead.

A shuddering sob escapes his lips as he pulls away and he collapses back against a nearby crate, twisting away so he doesn't have to see Zack like this.

With quiet footsteps, Vanitas backs away. He doesn't leave the alley, but chooses a crate a few steps away to sit on.

Ven doesn't have the energy to yell at him again. Drawing his knees to his chest, he let his head drop onto them as he wrapped his arms around himself. He doesn't speak and neither does Vanitas.

The silence of the alley is broken only by the sounds of sobs Ven tries to swallow.

* * *

 **LightzMusic22** **: tbh Namine evil mastermind is my new favorite character to write**

 **micaelaann. cruz** **: Boom! Surprise! It's Vani!**

 **Amestri** **: Evil Namine...helpful Vanitas...sometimes I wonder how I ended up here**

 **I'm back! College is once again in full swing and I didn't have a chance to even look at this story in over a week. So ta-da! It's only one scene! One short, depressing scene, but an awesome and pivotal one too.**

 **My writing schedule this semester is probably going to be "writing schedule? what writing schedule?" So hang in there with me. I've got lots planned to keep you all on your toes. Some of it's good. Most is angsty. You know, the usual :)**


	11. Breaking Free

Chapter 11 _Breaking Free_

Larxene smirks, stalking closer to the group of five. Electricity crackles across the knives in her hands, but Riku doesn't give her the chance to make the first move. He throws his keyblade at her, end over end, and she is forced to dodge it. Spinning out of its path, she throws the knives at the group and they scatter.

Larxene swoops towards Sora, the closest to her. With the one knife she held onto, she slashes at him, forcing him to block. With his keyblade up and focused on the knife, he doesn't see her roundhouse kick coming until crashes into his side.

"Ngh…" Sora tries to cry out, but all the breath is gone for his lungs and he is knocked flat on his back.

Sucking in a harsh breath, he raises his keyblade to block Larxene's next strike. His hand not holding his keyblade falls on one of the knives on the ground and he picks it up, slashing out at Larxene. The blade mostly catches the wide sleeve of her coat, but from the way she gasps and draws back, he knows he left a cut.

Kairi moves in front of him, striking out at Larxene. Sora gets to his feet and watches Kairi force Larxene back to the wall off to the side of the room.

Leaving a clear path to the stairs.

Donald and Goofy run over to Kairi to join the fight and Riku goes to do the same, but Sora grabs his arm. "Go," he says, nodding towards the stairs. "While she's not looking."

Riku looks between the stairs and the fight. "Alright," he says, not pleased to be leaving his friends in such a situation. "But catch up, okay?"

Riku hurries towards the stairs, watching Larxene for any sign of noticing. She's preoccupied with the others, attacking her left and right. It looks like a clean getaway, but then Larxene's head whips around to glare at him.

"Not so fast!"

A wall of electricity woven like chains springs up in front of Riku. He manages to skid to a stop, but his hand brushes the barrier and his body seizes up with electricity flowing through him.

He hears his friends scream his name over Larxene's laughter, but it all seems far off as he falls back.

Curling up, he fights to stay conscious, trying to whisper a cure spell on himself, but his tongue is too clumsy to make any sound other than a pitiful moan.

"Now that," he hears Larxene saying. He cracks open his eyes to see her now in the center of the room, looking up like someone is watching from above. "Is how you trap someone!"

Larxene's back turns to Riku to deflect away a bombardment of spells from Sora, Donald, and Goofy. Kairi skirts around her, running to where Riku is lying.

"Curaga," she says, crouching down beside him. She touches the side of his face as the green light starts to heal. "Are you okay?"

Riku half sits up with a small groan. "Attack her from behind," he says to Kairi. "I'll be fine."

To prove his point, he drags himself to his feet and Kairi stands too. "Curaga," she says again, healing him more, and starts moving silently towards Larxene's unprotected back.

Once the healing spell is done, Riku follows Kairi. As they inch closer to Larxene, Sora, Donald, and Goofy pause in firing their spells, afraid of hitting their friends. And in the middle, Larxene notices.

Riku and Kairi are only a few steps away when she spins around to face them, hand stretched to the sky. "Thunder!" She shouts and a bolt of lightning comes down from the ceiling at the two would-be sneak attackers.

Acting on instinct, Riku lunges over Kari, covering her with his body as she ducks behind her keyblade. He feels the darkness spring up suddenly inside him, but his only concern is protecting his friends.

A dark shield appears over him and Kairi a second before the lightning reaches them. The collision with the shield makes a deafening boom and the electricity surging over the surface is blinding. The force of it knocks them off their feet, still in the protection of the dark shield.

Kairi shouts and holds on to Riku tighter. Over her head, Riku sees the barrier coming up fast and squeezes his eyes shut for the impact.

There is a second boom like the first, of electricity and darkness colliding, and a moment later Riku and Kairi slump to the ground, the dark shield gone, on the other side of the barrier.

Riku gapes behind them at the still intact electric wall they'd just crashed through.

"Riku…" Kairi says from underneath him and he quickly gets up, letting her clamber back to her feet. "What happened?" she asks staring at the barrier as well. "I closed my eyes…"

"Uh." Riku looks down at the floor, feeling the darkness inside his slither back to the part of his heart it had come from. If Kairi's eyes were closed, may she doesn't know what he has done. "I made a shield," he says, deciding on half-truths. "It was like an instinct. And it protected us from the barrier."

"What about Sora?" Kairi asks, moving as close to the barrier as she dares. "Can you make another and get us back over there?"

Riku looks through the barrier too. _What about Sora?_ Had he seen the darkness Riku had used? Had Donald or Goofy?

The sounds of the battle are muted on this side of the barrier. Donald and Goofy are crouched behind Goofy's shield, firing spells off at Larxene around its sides. Sora is off to the side, half of his attention on Larxene, the other half on Riku and Kairi

When Sora meets his eye, Riku knows he saw.

" _Go,"_ Sora mouths, gesturing for them to take the stairs to the next floor.

"We can't just leave him," Kairi says, glancing at Riku. Sora gestures more intently for them to leave.

"C'mon," Riku says, pulling her away from the barrier. "Before she sees us."

With one frowning look back, Kairi gives in and follows Riku up the stairs to the 4th floor.

…

Ven frowns, scratching hard at the red stains on his hands. He'd forgotten about the blood he'd stuck his fingers in until it dried and became tacky. Now, it won't scrub off. It's in the creases of his palm and under his fingernails. With a noise of despair, he grabs fistfuls of his shirt and tries to wipe it off with that, but it works only slightly better than his hands.

Giving up, Ven lets his hands drop to his lap. He can't make the blood disappear any more than he can bring Zack back. His hands start to shake and tears blur his vision. He squeezes his eyes shut and hears someone crouch down beside him.

"Here."

He opens his eyes to see Vanitas pulling his gloves off.

"Put these on. It'll help."

Wordlessly, Ven takes the gloves. He slips them on and folds his hands together, squeezing hard. "Thanks," he whispers.

"Don't mention it."

Vanitas moves back and sits against the wall opposite Ven. Ven watches him out of the corner of his eyes. He could yell at him to leave again, but where would that get him? Alone, and with more time to dwell on what he doesn't want to think about.

Instead, Ven asks, "Why are you helping me?"

Vanitas starts slightly. "What?" He asks, but Ven doesn't repeat himself. He stares Vanitas down until Vanitas looks away. With a sigh, Vanitas leans his head back against the wall. "I don't know, Ven…" he says. He shrugs. "Self-preservation, I guess? I am still part of you. I still feel-"

Vanitas' mouth snaps shut and he looks away pointedly.

"You feel...what?" Ven asks.

"Nothing," Vanitas replies. He gets to his feet, still not looking at Ven. "Maybe I'm helping you because you look so pathetic sitting there with…" He gestures aimlessly. "I don't know. Shut up, idiot."

Vanitas moves back towards the entrance of the alley. He hops up on a crate and stares moodily at the ground.

Ven glances at Zack. He runs a thumb over Zack's limp hand and stands. With hesitant steps, he walks over to Vanitas. "Do you feel what I feel?" He asks, sitting on the crate next to him. Vanitas doesn't reply. "You do, don't you," Ven says and Vanitas glances sideways at him. "That's why you're different."

Vanitas scoffed at that. "I'm not different."

"You're not a monster anymore."

Vanitas hops off the crate. "Who says I'm not a monster anymore?" He leers over Ven, but Ven doesn't flinch. He opens his mouth to press Vanitas further, but a shout interrupts him.

" _Ven!"_

Both Ven and Vanitas look up. The shout is from far off and echoes in a strange, muffled way.

"Who…?" Vanitas says looking behind him.

" _Ven!"_

The shout it louder this time. Closer. The voices are familiar, but not ones that belong in this alley scene.

Ven looks down at his hands to see the gloves Vanitas had given him are gone and so is the blood. The spots on his shirt from trying to wipe it off are gone too. And the crate he is sitting on isn't a crate anymore. It's a set of white steps and he raises his head to see he's back in the white castle.

From the other side of the room, a boy and a girl are racing towards him. "Ven!" They both shout again as Ven raises his head to look at them.

"Are you hurt?" The girl says frantically, dropping down beside him and touching his knee. The silver haired boy kneels on his other side, putting a hand on Ven's shoulder.

"Who-" Ven starts to say, but then his eyes widen. They're no longer little kids, but… "Kairi? Riku?"

"Yeah," Riku says in a choked voice while Kairi nods, pressing her lips hard together. "We're here to bring you back, Ven."

Ven makes small noise of relief, knowing he sounds pathetic, and pulls them both into a tight hug. They both squeeze him back hard and he feels Kairi's tears fall on his neck.

When she pulls back, she wipes her eyes and smiles at him. "We found you," she says, her voice shaking slightly. "Sora was right. We found you!" She hugs him again and Ven rubs her back.

"Sora…" Ven repeats. He looks at Riku. "Where is he?"

"A floor down," Riku says, offering Ven a hand. "Can you stand?"

Kairi let's go and Ven takes Riku's hand. "I'm okay," he says and Riku pulls him to his feet. "Just...how did you get here? Where is this place?"

Kairi and Riku exchange a look. "Believe it or not," Kairi says in a gentle voice. "This is MEKA. It's been...transformed somehow."

Ven's eyes widen at that. He takes a careful look around, but the stark white room has no semblance to his home.

"C'mon," Riku says starting towards the staircase leading down to the next floor. "Sora's waiting for us."

"Wait." Ven touches Riku's shoulder, turning him back. Riku and Kairi look at him questioningly and Ven swallows hard, terrified to ask. "Zack, is he...did he…"

Riku tilts his head, confused, but Kairi understands. She takes one of Ven's hands in both of her's. "Zack's fine, Ven," she says. "He's perfectly fine and waiting for you when we get out of here."

"He's alive…" Ven whispers. He glances behind him, expecting Vanitas to be there. Vanitas is nowhere to be seen, however, and Ven's shoulders slump, realizing his darker half had been nothing more than another illusion in this place.

Kairi takes his arm. "Yes, Ven. Zack's alive," she says.

Ven manages a small smile, but the weighted feeling in his gut doesn't lessen. He wants to believe Kairi, but seeing Zack lifeless beside him had felt so real.

"What about Terra and Aqua? And Master Eraqus?" Ven asks. The look Riku and Kairi exchange makes his heart sink.

"We don't know, Ven," Riku says, looking at the ground. "We were hoping you could tell us we were hoping you could tell us what happened that day."

Ven rubs his temple. He knows what he has been seeing wasn't real, but his real memories are jumbled from it. "I'm not sure," he says. Meeting the others' eyes a little sheepishly, he adds, "I've been seeing things."

Riku and Kairi nod sympathetically. "That's what they've been doing to us too," Riku says. "Messing with our head. It's their game."

"Who's game?" Ven asks.

Riku scowls. "The douches in the black coats," he replies. "Have you seen them?"

Ven shakes his head. "No." There had been no people in black coats bothering him. Just the imposter Vanitas, taunting him. "There was a girl though. A blond girl with cold eyes."

"Blond girl? About this tall?" Riku holds his hand up a little shorter than himself. "Kind of looks like Kairi?"

Kairi hits his arm. "Hey!"

"What?" Riku says. "She does. It's weird." To Ven, he says, "Her name is Namine. She's behind all the illusions."

Namine. Ven is glad to have a name for the imposter. "She's been tormenting you too?" He asks.

Kairi tilts her head, frowning. "I wouldn't say tormenting," she says slowly.

"Oh." Ven realizes the illusions Riku and Kairi had seen hadn't been like the nightmares Ven had seen. He ducks his head, embarrassed to have brought it up.

"What was she doing, Ven?" Riku asks, worried.

Ven shakes his head slightly. "You said Sora was on the next floor down?" He asks to change the subject. He lifts his head back up, but looks past the others to the next staircase.

"Yeah," Riku says and Ven starts towards the stairs. Following, Riku says, "We had to leave him fighting one of the Organization XIII members."

"He's in a fight alone?" Ven doubles his pace, thinking of little Sora, all chubby cheeks and bright smiles, fighting by himself.

Kairi hurries to keep up. "He's not alone," she says. "Donald and Goofy are with him."

Ven looks at her surprised. "The guys from Mickey's homeworld? You know them?"

Kairi looks at him equally surprised. "You do?"

"That'll save time on introductions then," Riku says. "Now come on. I want to see Sora beat that bitch."

* * *

 **FINALLY! THEY FOUND VEN AND HE'S OKAY** **(at least physically)**

 **But Vanitas disappeared….damn, I miss him already…**

 **nah I can't even pretend that's the last time we'll see him**

 **RoseShine 76** **: Glad you like it :D dark namine is da bomb. And the pain will be worth it...hopefully**

 **Amestri** **: Thanks! Vani did his best, but Namine tricked him too. Good thing the others were there to save the day!**

 **LightzMusic22** **: MWAHAHAH breaking hearts is what I do B) and draw things because I want to see things drawn**

 **micaelaann. cruz** **: I take it as a compliment that I made you cry. I'm happy to know it was as terrible as I wanted it to be ;)**

 **ALRIGHT LightzMusic22 wrote a fic with her prediction about where this fic is going once Ven gets out of Castle Oblivion and it's a great little oneshot you should all go read now.**


	12. Breaking Out

Chapter 12 _Breaking Out_

Another one of Larxene's roundhouse kicks knocks Sora off his feet, his stomach lurching. A short flight later, he crashes into the ground, barely getting his arms up in time to protect his head.

"Sora!" He hears both Donald and Goofy shout, stuck on the far side of the room with Larxene separating them.

Curling up, Sora hopes one of them will cast a curing spell on him. His magic is spent and the battle with Larxene has exhausted him physically. But they're both barely keeping up with protecting themselves and don't have a second to spare to send a spell his way.

Still, the green light of a cure spell falls on him.

He sighs in relief, managing to push himself back up into a sitting position, and looks around for who cured him. His eyes fall on Riku and Kairi coming down the steps on the other side of the barrier and behind Kairi...

"Ven!" Sora is on his feet in an instant. The battle fades out as he stares, mouth gaping, at Ven. A little older, a little run down, a little out of it by the look on his face, but he's awake. _He's alive._

Despite his optimistic words, inside Sora had doubts about whether they would ever find Ven. Now that Ven's here, Sora wants nothing more than to sprint over and embrace him. To reunite with at least one member of the family Xehnaort had torn from him.

But there is still a barrier between them and a battle to be won.

With new determination, Sora charges Larxene. A fireball from Donald clips her shoulder and she staggers, turning to face Sora. Her fingers crackle with electricity, but he doesn't give her a chance to shock him again.

What's left of his strength and magic converges at the end of his keyblade, making it glow. He jumps, slashing down at her, his keyblade cutting left and right too fast for her to keep up. After eight successive hits, he flips back and while he is in the air he releases beams of light that collide with Larxene all at once.

With a shriek of anger and shock, Larxene is knocked on her back and doesn't rise as Sora, Donald, and Goofy approach. "No…" She moans. Her eyes find Sora's as he leans over her. "No!" Her struggling attempt to get back up fails. "I refuse to lose to a bunch of losers! I…"

Wisps of darkness start to come off of her. Her eyes widen, hands reaching up for the bits as they float away.

"I'm fading?!" She says, staring in horror. She screams, "No! This isn't...the way I...I won't…" The last of her disappears, cutting off her last words.

The barrier around the room disappears with her and breathing hard, Sora puts his exhaustion aside. With a grin, he sprints over to Ven coming into the room with Riku and Kairi.

"Ven!" Sora shouts and launches himself at him. Ven staggers under his weight, but Sora manages to keep them both upright. "We found you," Sora says, gripping tight to Ven, feeling tears collect in the corners of his eyes. He doesn't notice the slight hesitation Ven has in hugging him back.

When Sora pulls back, eyes shining with tears of happiness, Ven can't do more than stare. At Sora's spiky hair. His pointed chin. The familiar shape of his eyes despite them being the wrong color. "Y-you look just like him," Ven stutters aloud without meaning to.

"What?" Sora asks. He tilts his head the same way he used to do as a child. "Like who?"

Ven knows the illusions are broken, but he still glances to the side to see if Vanitas is there, marvelling at the semblance Sora has to him. Vanitas, of course, isn't there and Ven can feel the curious stares of the others. "I mean…" He says, not wanting the others to think he'd lost all has marbles in the last ten years. "You've grown up so much."

Sora smiles sadly at that. "You too, Ven," he says and pulls Ven into a second hug. One Ven does a better job of returning. But Sora pulls back suddenly. "Are you hurt at all?" He demands, looking Ven over critically.

"I'm fine, Sora," Ven says with a smile. Ven can't help but laugh at Sora, little Sora, being as bad of a mother hen as Aqua used to be. Sora isn't laughing though.

"Did the black coats go after you?" He asks, still looking for any injuries. "We've been so worried. Are you sure you aren't hurt?"

"He's fine, Sora," Kairi says, calming him down. She slips her hand into his and Ven's smile widens into a knowing smirk that makes them both blush.

It's then that Ven notices Donald and Goofy behind Sora.

"Hiya, Ven," Goofy says with a wave. "It's good to see you again

"You too-" Ven starts to say, but he's interrupted by the sound of clapping behind them.

Namine steps out of a dark corridor, continuing her slow clapping until she is a few steps from them.

"My, that was a fun little fight, wasn't it," she says. She throws a smirk in Ven's direction and he does his best not to gulp. "Nice to see you again, Ven. I have to say I'm impressed you made it this far."

"Hey!" Sora stepping in to get in front of Namine. "What do you want?"

"To offer congratulations, of course," she replies, looking over all of them. "You beat the fools."

Keeping his keyblade up, Sora takes another step towards Namine. "You said if we found Ven, you would let us go."

Namine fixes him with a coy smile. "I did say that, didn't I?" She says, moving closer. "And I always keep my promises. Especially to you." Her fingers brush Sora's cheek, making him flinch.

Kairi starts forward, but Riku grabs her wrist. "Don't anger her," he whispers in her ear.

Over Sora's shoulder, Namine smirks at Kairi, caressing the Sora's jaw. Her hand moves up into his hair and she leans into his cheek. Her lips are an inch away from his cheekbone when the cold, blunt side of Sora's keyblade pushes into her stomach.

Sora steps out of her reach, never lowering his keyblade. "Are you going to let us go or not?" He asks and Namine's gaze turns icy.

" _You_ are free to go, but…" She raises a hand to point at Ven. "I have grown too fond of my toy to let you take him away."

Namine flicks her wrist and from her hand Ven sees something dark and smoke like flying towards him. He gasps, covering his face. It washes over him, cool like water, but not wet.

The sound around him deadens. Dropping his hands, he sees the white walls gone. He is in a dark dungeon. Agrabah's dungeon, he remembers. And he is alone.

"Sora!" Ven shouts, spinning around. "Riku! Kairi!"

"Ven!"

A hand grabs his and he is spun around to face Vanitas.

"It's not real, Ven," Vanitas says, dragging him up the stairs to the cell door. "She's tricking you."

"I know," Ven says, stumbling in Vanitas' wake. ""But it's so - wait!"

Vanitas reaches the door and doesn't slow. He lowers his shoulder like he is going to knock it down and Ven can do nothing but brace for the impact. Which never comes. Another wave of coldness washes over him and they're in an ornate bedroom.

"What…" Vanitas stares at the surroundings. "But I broke the illusion."

"It's a new one," Ven whispers. He looks with horror at the dark city out the window. "This is Carinol." Taking a step back, he pulls Vanitas with him. "We have to go back."

Ven turns around only to crash into someone behind him.

"Hello, Veni," Keric says, reaching out a hand towards Ven's neck and licking his lips. "I've been waiting for you."

Vanitas yanks Ven back and, without letting go of Ven's hand, he slams his fist into Keric's face, knocking him down with one punch. "C'mon!" Vanitas shouts and turns back to the window. With a few running steps, they jump together, crashing through the glass.

Suddenly they're plunged into water. The salt stings Ven's eyes and Vanitas' hand still clasping his makes it hard to swim, but Ven doesn't let go. The two of them kick for the surface above them, but out of nowhere a fat, gray tentacle comes and wraps around Ven. His shout comes out in a stream of bubbles as he is dragged down.

Fear flashes in Vanitas' eyes. A stream of bubble comes out as he mouths Ven's name. Their hands are almost ripped apart, but Vanitas manages to swim after him. His dark keyblade appears in his hand and he chops through the tentacle, pulling Ven away with him once he's free.

They tumble sideways and collapse onto dusty ground. "Ven." Vanitas coughs. He helps Ven sit up. "She's layering them. The illusions. Every time one breaks there's another." Vanitas runs a hand through his hair. "I can't stop her."

"What are we going to do?" Ven asks, panicked. A shadow is cast over them and he looks up to see Neoshadows falling down towards them. "Vanitas!"

"Shit!" Vanitas lunges over Ven, shielding him. The Neoshadows crash into them and they're knocked flat to the ground.

Ven can barely breathe. He's buried in too many Neoshadows and Vanitas on top of him isn't helping. But then all of a sudden Vanitas' weight it gone.

"Ven!"

The Neoshadows are dragging Vanitas away. Their hands manage to stay connected for a moment, but Ven can barely see him through the pile of Neoshadows and then he's gone. And Ven is grasping empty air.

"No, no, no, no," Ven whispers, closing his eyes. He can't be trapped here alone. He can't be trapped when he just found his friends again.

Concentrating, he looks to find his light inside. It's small, but he takes all of it pushes it out in a blast that knocks the Neoshadows away. They vanish in the blinding flash.

The blast sends him sliding across the dirt and when he comes to a stop he's face down without the weight of the Neoshadows on him.

Spitting out dirt, Ven pushes himself up slightly, recognizing the gorge from the Pride Lands. Vanitas is lying a few feet in front of him, lifting his head as well. Vanitas' eyes widen.

"Ven!" He shouts, reaching out. But he's too far away.

Another shadow falls over Ven. He looks up and screams, the hooves of a wildebeest coming down on him, sharp and ready to-

"Stop!"

Ven cracks his eyes open to see not a Wildebeest, but Namine standing over him.

"No," she says, but she's not looking at him. "Zexion!"

Ven twists to see a teenage boy in a black coat standing on the steps down from the 4th floor. His slate colored hair is half in his eyes and with a large book open in one hand, his other hand is pointed at Namine. A thin, barely visible line of silvery magic chains her hands and he holds the other end. With a tug, he makes her stumble away from Ven.

"What are you doing?" Namine demands, trying and failing to shake off the magic.

"What I should have done a long time ago," Zexion says, looking at Ven who pushes himself up slightly.

"Which is what, Zexion?" A man with pink hair steps out of another dark corridor. He has a scythe in hand and a hard look trained on the slate haired boy. "Betrayal? I advise you to think very carefully about the consequences on your next move."

"I have," Zexion replies. A flick of his wrist and the chain on Namine's wrists coils around her whole body, trapping her in place. The pink haired man starts to storm forward, but Zexion waves his hand again and a wall of fire springs up, dividing the room in half and trapping Namine and the man on the other side.

Ven doesn't even notice his friends until Riku and Sora are hauling him up by his armpits. "We got you, Ven," Riku says as they set him on his feet.

From the other side of the fire wall, the man with the scythe roars in fury and it sounds like he's trying to cut his way, but Zexion seems unbothered. He takes a step towards the keyblade wielders who close ranks on instinct.

Zexion raises his hand once more and a dark corridor appears behind them. "Get out of here," he orders, but they don't move. More forcefully, he insists, "I'm trying to help you."

"Why should we trust you?" Kairi asks.

Zexion doesn't answer her question, his eyes settling on Ven. "You want to get away from Namine? This is how you get out."

The fire wall starts to flicker and Ven nods stepping back towards the corridor. "Anywhere is better than here," he says and others follow with more apprehension.

Zexion watches them step through the corridor. They look less than happy to be trusting him. At least, thanks to Namine's poking at Ven's memories, he knows just where to send them and when they step out of the corridor, they'll know he really is on their side.

There is a whoosh behind him as the firewall falls and Zexion smirks to himself. _Too late_ , he thinks and envelops himself in his own dark corridor.

A moment after he disappears, Marluxia's scythe cuts through the space where he used to be.

…

Ven stumbles out of the dark corridor, his knees threatening to give out. The corridor had been cold like Namine's illusions and it sends him panicking that he had made a terrible mistake in trusting the boy in the black coat.

He looks up from his shoes and gasps, really falling to his knees this time. He's back in the alley of Traverse Town. In the spot where Zack's body had been. There is nothing there now - no body, no blood - but Ven still sees Zack sprawled out there when he closes his eyes.

"Ven?" Sora is shaking his shoulder. "Ven."

Ven turns to him realizing his entire body is shaking.

"What's wrong?" Sora asks.

Taking a shuddering breath, Ven looks up to Riku and Kairi standing over him with matching expressions of concern. "Y-you said Zack is alive," he whispers and Kairi nods quickly.

"He is, Ven. He's fine."

Words aren't enough to reassure him. "I need to see him," Ven says, his hand touching the cobblestones, searching for proof the Zack survived.

"We'll go get him," Kairi says and her, Riku, Donald, and Goofy head out of the alley leaving Sora to continue trying to calm Ven down.

"What's wrong, Ven?" He asks, keeping his voice soft. "What do you think happened to Zack? Is it because of what Namine did to you at the end?"

Pressing his lips together, he shakes his head. "No...before...she…"

Sora waits patiently, letting Ven take his time to get his composure. His hand on his shoulder keeps Ven anchored. It keeps him knowing this is real.

With another deep breath, Ven explains to Sora. "The last time I saw Zack, before I lost my heart, he was beaten up...so bloody...so…" Ven brushes his fingers against the cobblestones again. "I'm so afraid he didn't make it. That I didn't act fast enough and I didn't save him and he -"

"Hey." Sora cuts him off forcefully. "You did save him. He's fine. And he's been spending the last ten years trying to find you."

Ven forces himself to nod. He wants to believe Sora. He wants to believe that Zack is okay, but he can't until he sees it with his own eyes.

"Ven?"

Ven looks up to see Zack at the entrance to the alley, frozen staring wide eyed. Alive. "Zack?" He whispers, relief flooding through him and making his legs too weak to stand.

With a shaky gasp, Zack rushes forward, throwing himself onto one knee beside Ven. Ven reaches out and pulls him to him, crashing their chests together in an attempt to feel every part of him at once.

"Zack," he murmurs again. He presses into Zack's shoulder, breathing him in, and feels Zack do the same to his neck. "You're not...Vanitas didn't..." Hiccup like sobs make it hard to get the words out. "You're alive."

Zack pulls back, laughing slightly. He cradles Ven's face between his trembling hands. "I was going to say the same thing about you," he says in a choked voice.

Ven laughs too and wraps his arms around Zack's neck. Pulling him close, Ven gasps as their lips crash together

They kiss too hard, too desperate, but it has never felt so good. Ven clutches the back of Zack's shirt, twisting the material in his fists, never wanting to let go. He's crushed by Zack's arm around his waist, but he wouldn't want it any other way.

When they have to, they part for air and Zack rests his forehead on Ven's. "I looked for you," he says, his voice breaking. "I looked everywhere and I tried...I tried so hard…"

Ven pulls him into a hug once more and Zack buries his face in Ven's chest. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Ven. I couldn't protect you. I couldn't save you. I couldn't -"

"Hey," Ven interrupts him and gently pulls Zack's head up to look him in the eye. He wipes the tears from Zack's cheeks and keeps tracing his thumb along Zack's cheekbone as Zack leans into his hand. "What happened wasn't your fault." Ven tries to say fiercely, to make Zack believe it and let go of any guilt, but his voice shakes with emotion. "It wasn't your fault," he repeats and leans in to claim Zack's lips again.

It's another bruising kiss and this time, when they need air, they only part a moment before crashing their lips back together. Zack tilts his head to a new angle and Ven sighs, tangling his fingers in Zack's hair.

A piercing wolf-whistle rings out followed by a chorus of laughs.

Ven breaks their kiss, but stays close, leaning his cheek on Zack's as he turns his head. Cid, no doubt the whistler, grins hugely from the alley entrance along with the rest of the Traverse Town gang.

Ven smiles back at them, but can't stop his gut from clenching at the sight of Cid's gray hairs and the teenage girl, the spitting image of Aerith, with her arm around Riku's waist. Ten years is a long time and there's a lot that's happened that he has missed.

Zack stands and takes both of Ven's hands in his. "Go say hi," he says softly, pulling Ven up.

Ven is barely on his feet when Yuffie's patience gives out. She crosses the length of the alley in record time and pulls Ven into a hug that knocks all the air from his lungs. "You're okay!" She says and leans back, lifting him off the ground despite him being a few inches taller. "And you're here and…"

She sets him back down and Ven is able to hug her back easier. "You're okay," she whispers into his shoulder.

"I'm okay," he whispers back.

A hand touches his shoulder and he looks up to see Cloud. Letting go of Yuffie, Cloud hugs him next. A little stiff, but Ven can feel him shaking slightly. Before Cloud has even pulled away completely, Tifa's on him and squishes him in a tight hug to rival Yuffies.

"You...I...I can't…" she tries to speak, but words won't come out. Ven squeezes her back, not needing words to know what she was trying to say. Tifa pulls back with a sob and turns to Cloud who already has his arms open for her.

"Kid…" Cid's voice is gruff and his jaw is working the toothpick in his mouth with extra vigor. He grabs both Ven's shoulders in a tight grip. He doesn't say a word, eyes searching Ven's face for something. Ven smiles hesitantly and Cid grips his shoulder. "Fuck, you scared us, kid," Cid says, smothering Ven in a hug.

"Sorry," Ven whispers.

Aerith is waiting when Cid releases him. "Welcome back," she says softly and envelops him in a gentle hug.

"Thanks, Aerith," Ven says. He turns to Leon next who thrusts his hand out.

Ven smiles at that. Some things don't change. He shakes Leon's hand, meeting his stoic gaze. He tries to drop his hand after a moment, but Leon doesn't let go. Keeping a tight grip, he pulls Ven into a one arm hug. With a sigh and a slap on the back, Leon lets go of him.

"Ven?"

Ven turns to Riku, standing with his arm still around the girl that is a mini version of Aerith.

"This is Marlene," Riku says, edging her forward.

"Hi, Ven," Marlene says, smiling. "It's nice to meet you. I mean," she laughs. "I know we've met before, but I don't really remember."

Ven smiles back at her. "It's nice to meet you too," he says, holding his out his hand.

Ignoring his offered hand, Marlene throws her arms around him in a quick, tight hug. "They've all missed you so much," she whispers in his ear before pulling back.

A hand rests on Ven's back and he leans into Zack's touch, just wanting to be as close to him as he can. Zack's other hand finds his and intertwines their fingers. "How are you feeling?" He asks. "Are you hungry? Tired?"

"I'm fine," Ven replies. He looks to Sora, Riku, Kairi, Donald and Goofy. "Thanks to all of you."

Zack meets Sora's eye. There's something tense in the look they exchange that Ven can't place. "So you did have his heart."

Sora shakes his head. "I wasn't the one who woke him up," Sora replies. "Namine said it was my Nobody. Roxas."

"Roxas," Zack repeats softly. "He believed me..."

Ven lets go of Zack's hand and reaches into his pocket. "I didn't see who woke me, but they left this."

He pulls out the pin he'd given Zack and that he'd found on the arm of his chair when he awoke. Zack takes it rolling it between his fingers with a smile tugging at his lips.

Ven glances at Sora. "What's a Nobody?" He asks. "And who's Roxas?"

"It's a long story," Sora says and Tifa steps forward, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"I think you all have long stories to tell," she says, looking around at them. "But that can wait until you all have a place to sit and some food in you."

She steers Sora towards the bar, keeping one arm protectively over his shoulder and putting her other around Kairi's. The rest of the crowd follows after with Ven and Zack bringing up the rear.

"Wait, Ven." Zack pulls him to a stop. He smiles, holding up the old pin from Shibuya. "I've been waiting a long time to give this back to you."

Zack carefully pins it to Ven's shirt, letting his hands linger on Ven's chest a moment longer than he needs to. Ven smiles his thanks and leans in to meet Zack's lips in a kiss.

He doesn't have to stand on his tiptoes to kiss him anymore. They've grown up to be nearly the same height. Zack's hair twisted in his hands is longer, his muscles harder.

With a sigh he wishes didn't sound so much like a sob, Ven breaks their kiss. He stares at the ground, blurring from the tears in his eyes.

"Hey."

Zack tips Ven's chin up, wiping away the tear that falls. "What's wrong?"

Not trusting himself to speak, Ven buries his face in the crook of Zack's neck. "T-ten y-years…" He manages to get out and holds onto Zack tighter.

Zack sighs, kissing the top of Ven's head. "I know, Ven," he whispers. "I know."

Ven wants to speak of all the time he's lost. He lost his heart and woke up ten years in the future with a body that isn't his. He might look 25, but Ven still feels 15 and he cries into Zack's chest, doubting even he would ever understand that.

"It's okay," Zack murmurs in his ear. "We take it slow. We'll figure it out. Together. Alright?"

Ven nods and finally lifts his head, sniffing as Zack brushes his hair back from his face.

"I'm not going anywhere, Ven," Zack says. "I want to do everything I can for you."

Ven sniffs again. "Hold my hand?" He asks in a soft voice. "And never let go."

Zack takes Ven's hand and gives it a squeeze. "Of course," he says and starts to pull him towards the bar. "You're not alone anymore."

Yuffie is waiting at the door, foot tapping impatiently. "Quit hogging him, Zack," she says, pouting like a child. "The rest of us are dying to hear his story too." She grabs Ven's arm and drags him into the bar which means that Zack gets pulled along too.

Inside, Ven spots another familiar face. "Mickey?" He says and the mouse turns to him from where he is welcoming Donald and Goofy back.

"Ven!" Mickey shouts and hurries over to give him a hug. He lets out a relieved laugh, looking Ven over like everyone else has been doing. "I'm so glad you're alright."

"It's good to see you again," Ven says and glances at the two women coming up to him. The older woman stretches out her hand.

"Hello, Ven. I'm Master Amiddon. I'm an old friend of your master, Eraqus," she says and Ven shakes her hand.

"You know Master Eraqus?" He asks, surprised.

The smile Master Amiddon gives at that is a little sad, but she nods. "I haven't seen him in many, many years," she admits, and gestures to the younger woman beside her who looks to be a year or two older than Ven. "This is my apprentice, Ryla."

"Nice to meet you," Ven says, shaking her hand as well.

"Likewise," Ryla replies, looking at him like she's sizing him up.

"Here we go!" Tifa calls out, coming out of the kitchen a tray of drinks. Cloud follows with stacks of sandwiches.

Zack hands a drink to Ven and takes one for himself. They take seats, side by side, around the huge table the others had made pulling the small tables together and the sandwiches are passed around.

"So, Ven," Cid says, over the noise. "What happened to you way back when?"

All eyes turn to Ven and he shifts a bit closer to Zack. He squeezes a Zack's hand harder. "After Vanitas, took me from Traverse Town," he says, not speaking of what had happened in the moments before that. "He bright me to the Keyblade Graveyard and made me form the X-blade with him. And we joined back together. I had to fight him off in my heart to gain control back."

He pauses and looks around at everyone. "Does anyone know what happened to Aqua? Or Terra and Master Eraqus?"

His heart sinks to see all their heads shake.

With a sigh, Ven continues, "I saw Aqua for a moment, once I took control. And then I smashed the X-blade to keep it safe from Xehanort and I thought I died. I thought it would kill me."

"Sora's heart took your's in," Zack says. "He saved you and helped you heal."

Ven meets Sora's eyes across the table and smiles. "I guess I owe you again for that," he says.

"Pay me back by never disappearing again," Sora replies with a smile.

Ven smiles back at him. "Deal," he says. He finishes his story, saying, "After that, I woke up in that place. And it was ten years later." Looking to Sora and the others, Ven asks, "How did the five of you end up there?"

After exchanging glances, Riku decides to be the one to speak. "I guess we should start from the beginning," he says. "It all started when Sora stole Cid's Gummi ship…"

…

Sora watches Ven as Kairi talks about their journey through Castle Oblivion. Ven's head is on Zack's shoulder as he listens, but his eyes have drifted off to the side and he still has a bit of that dazed look he's had since Sora first saw him in the castle.

Everyone else had finished their sandwich, but Ven has barely touched his. After ten years, he should be hungry - starving, Sora would expect - but he's only picked off a little bit of the crust.

Zack presses a light kiss in Ven's hair and his attention seems to snap back for the most part. Giving Zack a smile, Ven looks back at Kairi and Sora does the same as she says,

"The guy in the black coat made us the portal back here and we escaped before the barrier he made came down. And then we were here, and you know the rest."

Amiddon and Ryla had been especially interested in what Sora, Riku, and Kairi had been able to tell them about the black coats' plans. Tilting her head thoughtfully at what Kairi had said, Amiddon turns to Ven. "What about your time in Castle Oblivion?" She asks and all eyes once more fall on Ven.

He looks down at his lap to avoid them. "It was terrible," he says and Sora practically winces at the broken tone of his voice.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Zack asks Ven and Ven shakes his head.

A long, heavy silence falls on the room. With a small, forced smile, Ven looks up. "You know what I do want though? A shower," he says. "A shower and maybe some new clothes."

He indicates his clothes that are obviously too small and everyone cracks a smile at that. "Sure thing, Ven," Zack says. He stands and Ven does the same. "You can wear my clothes. We're practically the same size now, I think."

Sora watches Zack lead Ven to his basement room with a frown. There is still a lot Ven isn't telling him. Whatever happened to him at Castle Oblivion still seems to be weighing on his mind. They've got Ven back, but Sora has a nagging feeling that it is going to be a long time before Ven gets back to his old self.

* * *

 **CONGRATULATIONS! You have survived the slow torture of Zactus angst and made it to the fluff. The glorious, glorious fluff.**

 **RoseShine 76** **: Reunions for everyone!**

 **Amestri** **: Ima keep the happiness going for awhile because holy shit do Ven and Zack deserve that rn**

 **Life is crazy and stressful and I have two exams and a lab report due this week along with all my normal homework so of course I said "fuck that" and finished off this chapter today instead of doing all of that**

 **#noregrets**

 **AND IT HAPPENED! I SMUSHED VEN AND ZACK BACK TOGETHER AND I'M NEVER TEARING THEM APART EVER AGAIN!**

 **maybe ;)**


	13. Together Again

Chapter 13 _Together Again_

Laying on his bed, Demyx sighs and lines his fingers up for a new chord on his sitar. " _Ahhh_!" He screams softly pretending it's the shouts of an audience at a concert just for him. "This one's for you, Zexy. Wherever you are," he says to his imaginary audience in a fake husky voice and strums a long note. With a drawn out clearing of his throat, he begins to sing,

 **[Anywhere But Here by Mayday Parade]**

" _Secret love, my escape_

 _Take me far, far away_

 _Secret love are you there_

 _Will you answer my prayer_

 _Please take me anyway but here-"_

The sudden whoosh of a dark corridor opening sends Demyx scrambling to his feet. "Zex?" Demyx says as Zexion stumbles out and he stares, tilting his head. "I didn't even pray…"

"Demyx." Zexion is across the room in seconds. He embraces Demyx in a crushing hug and sighs against his neck. "God, I've missed you," Zexion murmurs.

Demyx hugs him back, pressing kiss in his hair. "Me too." He moves to kiss Zexion on the lips, but Zexion barely gives him a peck before pulling back.

"Dem, I let them out," he says.

"Let who out?" Demyx asks, confused.

"The keyblade wielders," Zexion replies, in too much of a rush to say more. "Dem...Dem, I betrayed the organization."

"You…" Demyx eyes go wide. "You betrayed the organization!" He shouts and Zexion lunges forward, covering his mouth.

"We need to run before they find us," he says and drops his hand. He rips open the nearest drawer and pulling clothes out at random. "We have to go, now."

"Zex, wait."

"We don't have time," Zexion says, ducking around Demyx to search for a bag to throw the clothes in. "They're going to be after me any minute."

"Zexion." Demyx grabs the clothes out of his arms as Zexion turns to face him. "Stop packing," he says and pulls a duffle bag out from underneath his bed. "I've already got it covered."

"You…" Zexion blinks. "But when did you…"

"You know you're not the only one who's good at making up schemes," Demyx replies, tapping his forehead.

He sets the bag down on the bed and wraps his arms around Zexion. "Now since _I'm_ the one with the plan, _I_ get to ask. Zexion, my scowling genius, my brooding teddy bear, my sexy piece of ass, and when I say sexy I mean _sexy_ -"

"Dem." Zexion cuts him off, trying to hide a smile. "Don't you have a question you want to ask me?"

"Right, right," Demyx replies. "Sometimes you distract me." Demyx squeezes Zexion's butt and makes him jump.

"Demyx." Zexion tries to sound stern, but Demyx only grins wider, leaning closer.

His lips are only a hair's breadth away. "Zexion," he says in a low voice. "Will you run away with me?"

Zexion grins. "I don't know, Dem," he replies. "Do I get any incentives to come with you?"

Demyx squeezes Zexion's butt again and he doesn't jump this time. "Oh, I'll definitely make it worth your while," Demyx says and crashes his lips against Zexion's.

Just as Zexion starts to kiss him back, Demyx pulls away. "So is that a yes?"

"It's a hell yes," Zexion replies and pulls Demyx back into their kiss. Grabbing the bag off the bed and without letting go of Demyx, Zexion summons a dark corridor behind him and pushes them both through.

...

Zack sits on the edge of his bed, hunched over with his elbows on his knees. His eyes haven't left the bathroom door since Ven disappeared behind it and now that the shower has shut off inside, he's counting the seconds trying to predict how long it will take Ven to change and come back out.

He knows he's nuts and there's nothing lurking in his shower that is going to hurt Ven, but it doesn't keep the aching worry out of his chest from having Ven out of his sight for the first time since getting him back.

"Zack?" The door opens and Zack is on his feet in an instant. Ven comes out into the room, wet hair lying uncharacteristically flat, and he looks around a moment before his eyes fall on Zack.

Ven gives him a hesitant smile. "What do you think?" He asks, gesturing to his clothes.

They're a pair of Zack's sweatpants, worn out around the heels, and a white t-shirt a size too big on Ven. "You look great," Zack says, happy to see the clothes had fit. Ten years ago they wouldn't have fit into each other's clothes but they'd grown up to be practically the same size except Zack still being broader in the shoulders.

Ven moves closer to him lifting the collar of his shirt up to his nose. "It smells like you," he says.

"I think all of you smells like me now," Zack replies, brushing back some of Ven's wet hair. His shampoo has a slight hint of strawberries and he can really smell it on Ven. "I like that too."

He meets Ven's lips in a soft kiss. With a small laugh, Zack pulls back. "Your peach fuzz tickles," he says, brushing his fingers through the wispy hairs that covers the lower half of Ven's face.

Ven's pouts at that, rubbing his cheeks. "I don't like it," he says unhappily.

"You can use my razor if you want to shave it off," Zack offers. "It's next to the sink."

Ven glances over his shoulder and sees the razor in the bathroom. His fuzzy cheeks turn pink. "I...uh...don't know how," Ven admits, not meeting Zack's eye. "I've never shaved before."

"Oh."

Ven can only imagine how pathetic he looks. And helpless. Him, a keyblade wielder, _the_ X-Blade wielder, doesn't even know how to shave his own beard.

"C'mon." Zack's hand takes his and pulls him towards the bathroom. "I'll teach you."

Ven follows, staring at the razor as Zack hops up on the counter, sitting with his knees slightly spread. He gestures Ven closer and positions him between his legs. Leaning over, he plugs the sink and turns it on, letting it fill with water.

"Grab that washcloth," Zack says nodding to the towel rack. While Ven gets it, Zack moves the shaving cream and razor within reach.

"What's it for?" Ven asks, handing Zack the towel.

Zack dips it under the water and shuts the faucet off. "When you shave," Zack says, pulling Ven closer between his legs. "You want your skin wet."

With a soft touch, Zack brushes the cloth along Ven's jawline. "Why?" Ven asks, his hands touching Zack's thighs as he leans in closer.

"Makes your skin softer," Zack says. "And this," he holds up the shaving cream, "helps with razor burn."

Putting some in his palm, Zack rubs it in his hands to warm it up. He coats Ven's cheeks with in and dots a bit on his nose, biting his lip to hold back a laugh.

"Have you ever shaved someone else before?" Ven asks as Zack picks up the razor.

Wetting the blade, Zack shrugs. "No," he admits. "Do you trust me anyway?"

Ven's hands slide up Zack's legs a little more. "Of course," he says.

Setting the razor against Ven's cheek, Zack uses his other hand on Ven's hairline to pull his skin taunt. "Let me know if I nick you," Zack says and moved the razor down.

After a couple passes, he rinses the razor off in the sink of water and turns back to find Ven looking past him at his own reflection.

"You like it?" Zack asks him as Ven touches the patch of shaved skin. Ven nods, but he isn't smiling. "What is it?"

"I look...old," Ven replies and Zack twists around to look in the mirror too.

"Guess that makes me old too," he says, hoping to make Ven smile, but it doesn't work. "And you don't look old," he adds and kisses Ven's temple. "Now come on. Let's finish this up quick." Zack turns Ven's chin to look at him instead of the mirror. "I've got an idea of something to cheer you up."

Zack makes quick work finishing shaving Ven and wipes his face clean with the washcloth. "Here," he says holding the after shave out to Ven. "Pat a little of that on." Once Ven does that, Zack wraps his arms around Ven's neck. "Better?" He asks.

"Better," Ven repeats and Zack kisses him. After a minute, Ven pulls back. "Is this your plan to cheer me up?"

"Part of it," Zack replies and slides off the counter.

He leads Ven back into his room and to the couch in the corner in front of the TV. Gesturing for him to sit on the couch, Zack searches through his DVD collection for the right one. Keeping it out of sight from Ven, he puts it into the player and hops onto the couch beside Ven as it plays.

Ven laughs at the title card that comes up. " _Casper the Unfriendly Ghost_ ," Ven says turning to Zack. "Our first date."

"Remember how scared you were?" Zack says, looping an arm around Ven to pull him closer. "How cuddly you got once Casper started killing all those college students?"

"I wasn't scared. It was a ruse," Ven replies, crossing his arms.

"A ruse, huh?" Zack looks at him with an eyebrow raised. "For what, exactly?"

"Mmm, guess," Ven says and gives Zack a soft kiss on this side of his mouth.

Zack laughs. "What clever trick," he says, pulling Ven against him so he can rest his chin on top of his head. "Gonna do it again?"

"Of course," Ven replies as the opening scene starts with the frat boys moving into the haunted house. "I'm terrified, Zack. Hold me!" He says, making his voice higher like he's afraid.

Zack squeezes him tighter, tickling him at the same time, and Ven laughs, squirming, but unable to get away. Eventually he gets the upper hand, tickling Zack back, until they're both breathless for laughter and tangled together.

Ven knows all the jumpscares in the movie this time around, but he still holds onto Zack tighter during the more intense moments.

When the last frat boy in the haunted house is killed, Zack gets up and switches movies, putting on some sappy romance movie with a nice soundtrack. There's a scene after a fight that the couple makes up, kissing in the rain, and Zack starts to kiss Ven and they both lose track of the rest of the plot.

The movie ends, but neither makes a move to turn it off as the credits roll. With their lips locked, Zack falls back on the cushions with Ven on top of him. As they makeout, Zack's fingers slip under Ven's shirt and ghosted along his back, making Ven jump and push his hand away.

"Zack." Ven pulls back a little breathless, his face red. "I...wait."

"Sorry, I-"

"No, you don't have to be sorry. I..." Ven sits up, looking down at the couch instead of Zack. "I can't...I'm not..."

"Hey." Zack sits up too, and tilts Ven's chin up to look at him. "It's okay."

Ven nods, his face still red. "This - this older body," he says, gesturing to himself. "It's doesn't quite feel like mine, Zack. It doesn't feel right yet. I'm sorry."

"You don't need to apologize," Zack says, his voice gentle. "I meant what I said before. I'm going to help you get back to feeling normal. And we can take it slow."

"Thanks, Zack," Ven whispers and Zack gives him a soft kiss.

"Do you want to watch another movie?" He asks. "Or are you tired? It's after midnight, you know."

"It is?"

Ven looks over at the clock beside Zack's bed to see its nearly 12:30 in the morning. But he isn't feeling tired.

Zack on the other hand yawns hugely. "I think it must be time for bed for you," Ven says and Zack shakes his head.

" 'm okay."

Zack yawns again. "Very convincing," Ven says sarcastically and stands, pulling Zack to his feet. "Go to bed," he orders and Zack grumbles at that.

"First I have to show you where the guest room is," Zack says. "Unless you wanted to sleep down here..."

He trails off and Ven bites his lip. "I...um..."

"It's just an offer," Zack says quickly, leading him to the staircase back to the main floor. "One that's good for more than tonight. And when I say sleep I really do mean sleep," he adds to clarify.

Ven laughs a little at that. "Alright," he says. "Not tonight, but maybe."

Through the kitchen, they head up the staircase in the back to the living quarters above the bar. "The others have rooms up here," Zack whispers. "And this is the guest room." He opens the door and peers in. "Looks like Tifa already made it up for you."

Ven walks into the simply furnished room. The bed is nicely made up and a set of fresh towels is sitting on the cushioned window seat with a vase of flowers on the sill.

"Sora and Riku's room is right across the hall," Zack adds. Ven hums in acknowledgment walking over to the window and peering out at the night sky.

Zack's arms wrap around him from behind. "You okay?" He asks, resting his chin on Ven's shoulder.

"I'm okay." He turns to face Zack who's stifling a yawn. "You should go to bed."

"Yeah," Zack murmurs, leaning his forehead against Ven's and closing his eyes.

"Zack?"

"Hmm?"

"You're not leaving."

"Alright, alright. I'm going," Zack says with a sigh. He hugs Ven tight for a long moment though. "You have no idea how much I've missed you," he whispers.

"I'm back now," Ven whispers back. "I'm not leaving ever again." He draws back and plants a kiss on Zack's lips. "But you are. Before you fall asleep on your feet."

Zack protests with another kiss and chases Ven when he pulls away. Ven laughs and tries to push him out the door while Zack continues to steal kisses. "Goodnight, Zack," Ven whispers when he finally gets him across the threshold.

Zack sighs and gives him one last kiss. "Goodnight, Ven."

Ven shuts the door, but Zack doesn't move away. He listens to Ven moving around inside and tells himself over and over again that nothing is going to happen to Ven overnight. He's being clingy, bordering on obsessive, but Zack is still reluctant to walk away.

He'd stand guard all night, regardless of how tired he is, but Ven had told him to go to bed. Ven wouldn't want to find out he'd gone sleepless out of worry.

Focusing on that, Zack forces himself to return to his own room and at least try to sleep.

…

It isn't long after that Ven rolls over, wide awake, to watch the moon outside his window. He isn't tired in the least. He remembers feeling the same the time Xehanort had ripped Vanitas from his hear and he had slept for 6 days. The night after he woke up, he didn't sleep a wink.

This time he has slept for 10 years so he doesn't let it bother him that he has no desire to sleep tonight.

Throwing off his covers, he moves over to the window seat instead. There aren't any clouds to obstruct the view and he stares up at the stars thinking of his friends that are still lost.

He did his best, all those years ago, to put an end to Xehanort's plans. In doing so he may have saved the worlds, but he didn't save his family.

Staring up at the stars he vows to save them, wherever they are.

* * *

 **LightzMusic22** **and** **micaelaann. cruz** **I'm glad you loved the reunion! It's been way too long in coming.**

 **Yet again, sorry for the wait. Same excuses as always. School, homework, yada yada yada. *Insert promise to do better next time while knowing I probs won't***

 **But when I do update, the fluff will continue!**


	14. Better the Devil You Know

Chapter 14 _Better the Devil You Know_

At the first hint of the sun coming up over the horizon, Ven leaves his room, having not slept for even a minute. Walking downstairs, he can feel that his body is tired, but his mind is not. In the bar he sits down heavily and stares at the wall, not really seeing it, not really thinking about much.

"Ven?"

His stupor is broken by Sora dropping down into the seat across from him. "What are doing up so early?"

Sitting up a little straighter, Ven hesitates in telling him the truth. There isn't any need to worry them all more about him. "I, uh, only slept a couple hours," he says. "I think it's a side effect of sleeping for a year."

"Ah," Sora says nodding a couple times. He drums his fingers on the table and glances over his shoulder at the kitchen. "You hungry? I'm hungry."

Not waiting for Ven to reply, Sora stands and disappears into the kitchen. He comes back with a jug of milk in one hand and two bowls and spoons in the other.

Ven doesn't recognize the cereal box tucked under his arm until Sora sets in down on the table. "Lucky Charms?" He says, smiling. "Those still your favorite?"

"Yeah," Sora says enthusiastically, pouring himself a heaping bowl. "They're your favorite too, right?" He pushes the second bowl closer to Ven along with the box.

"...yeah," Ven replies. He toys with the box while Sora digs into his breakfast.

"Want something else instead?" Sora offers, but Ven shakes his head.

"No, no. This is fine," he says quickly and to prove it picks a marshmallow out of the box. He pops it his mouth and notices the concerned look on Sora face. "What?"

Sora looks back down at his cereal. "Nothing," he says.

"Sora." Ven sighs. "What is it? Why are you giving me that look?"

Sora stirs his bowl, glancing up, but not holding Ven's gaze. "I just want to make sure you're okay," he says. "And you didn't really eat last night and you're not hungry now and you said you didn't sleep much and -

"Sora," Ven interrupts. "Take a breath. I'm okay, really."

Sora nods, but when he looks at Ven, Ven can see that he doesn't completely believe him. Holding back another sigh, Ven takes a second marshmallow. "So," he says to change the subject. "Did you give Riku shit when he started dating Marlene?"

Sora laughs. "Oh, yeah. I tease him every chance I get about it."

"Exactly what I'd expect," Ven says, laughing as well. "Do you still use the same song you annoyed him with when you were little kids or did you come up with some new material?"

Chewing, Sora tilts his head. "What song?"

"What song?" Ven repeats incredulously. He puts the cereal box down to lean over the table. "How can you not remember? You would have sung it on repeat all day if none of us put a stop to you."

"No, I don't remember. What song?" Sora asks, bursting with curiosity. "What is it?"

Ven laughs slightly. "Okay," he says clearing his throat. "But don't laugh. You're the one that loved this." He clears his throat again and repeats the song seared into his brain by the countless times he listened to Sora sing it. " _Riku and Marlene sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G_."

Sora snorts hard with laughter and covers his nose so none of the milk from his cereal comes out of it.

Ven reaches across the table and shoves him lightly. "I told you not to laugh!"

"I'm sorry," Sora says. "But oh - I can't believe -" He doubles over clutching his sides, laughing to hard to talk.

"Now what is going on down here?" They both turn to see a bemused Tifa coming down the stairs. She looks between the two of them and raises her hands. "Nevermind. I don't want to know."

Walking over, she picks up the box of Lucky Charms and scoffs. "Really, Sora? I thought I hid these from you."

With a guilty expression, Sora tries to shove the rest of his breakfast into his mouth before Tifa takes it away. Tifa shakes her head and turns to Ven with a smile.

"Ven, would you like something other than sugar for breakfast?"

"No, I'm alright," Ven replies and he wonders if Tifa will push the issue like Sora did, but after chewing her lip for a moment, she runs a finger through her hair.

"Then, can I offer you a haircut instead?" She says. "It looks like you cut it with your keyblade."

"That's because I did," Ven admits and Sora snorts again.

Shaking her head at them both, Tifa gestures for Ven to follow her and he gets up, smacking the back of Sora's head as he passes.

Sora returns to his breakfast once they leave and, with a quick look around, he reaches for the Lucky Charms box. Tifa would kill him if she knew he had not one but two bowls of the sugary stuff, but what Tifa doesn't know won't hurt him. Licking his lips, he pours some more into his almost empty bowl and plucks a few extra marshmallows out for good measure.

"Sora?"

Zack's sudden voice behind him makes Sora start and almost drop the cereal box. "Nothing!" He says, putting the box back on the table.

Zack slides into Ven's vacated chair with an eyebrow raised. "I was thinking of something more along the lines of good morning, but okay."

His ears pink, Sora ducks his head back over his bowl and shovels the cereal into his mouth to get rid of the evidence before anyone else appears.

"You the only one up?" Zack asks and Sora shakes his head.

"Tifa took Ven upstairs to cut his hair," he replies through a mouthful.

Zack nods and silence falls on the two of them expect for the sound of Sora chewing. It's a tense silence and they both can feel that, wondering if the other is also thinking about the last time they talked. More like yelled in Zack's case.

"Sora, I'm sorry about -"

"It's fine," Sora interrupts, swallowing another large bite.

"No, it's not," Zack says, speaking over Sora when he tries to interrupt again. "I was frustrated with searching for Ven and I took it out on you. You were just doing what you could to save Kairi and I-"

"Had a small conniption?" Sora offers. He grins, but Zack is frowning. "I'm kidding!" Sora adds quickly. "Seriously, Zack, it's okay. You were under a lot of stress and worry and you...kinda...exploded. A small explosion though," he corrects himself, keeping Zack from getting a word in. "Like a harmless puff of smoke. And you deserved to let off some steam."

"But you didn't deserve to be yelled at," Zack replies and holds up a hand to stop Sora from interjecting again. "I'm gonna say it, Sora, and you can't make me take it back. I am sorry."

Sora grins. "Alright. Unnecessary apology accepted."

Zack reaches for the box of cereal and starts picking marshmallows out to eat like Ven had been doing. Sora watches him for a moment wondering if it's his place to be pushing so much about Ven, but he's worried and he's never been one to keep quiet.

"Does Ven seem...okay to you?" Sora asks Zack, making him pause with his hand in the cereal box.

"Something making you think he isn't?"

"Um..." It feels a little like tattling, but Zack should know. "He says he didn't sleep much last night," Sora says. "And he didn't eat any breakfast."

"He didn't sleep much?" Zack repeats to himself, crossing his arms. "Do you know how much?" He asks Sora.

"He said a couple hours."

Zack ducks his head a moment, thinking, but Sora pulls his attention back saying, "They're coming back down."

Through the door to the kitchen, Zack can see Tifa and Ven coming downstairs. Tifa disappears into the back rooms of the bar, but Ven comes out into main room and Zack gets to his feet to meet him.

"Good morning," he says, giving Ven a quick kiss. He surveys the new hair and runs a hand through the spikes now able to stand up better since being cut shorter.

"You like it?" Ven asks, touching his hair himself.

"Love it," Zack replies. "It looks a lot like how your old hair looked."

Ven nods. "That's why I like it."

Running a hand one more time through Ven's hair, Zack moves towards the kitchen. "I'm making french toast. Sora said you haven't eaten so I'll make you some too."

"I'm not all that hungry," Ven says, but Zack waves him off.

"I'll make you some anyway. You should have something for breakfast."

Ven sighs as Zack disappears into the kitchen and turns to Sora. "What else did you tell Zack?" He asks him, sitting down at the table once more.

Through a mouthful of Lucky Charms, Sora says, "Would you look at the time." He glances at a non-existent watch on his wrist. "I'm going to be late for militia shift if I don't get ready."

"Sora," Ven starts to say, but the other boy gathers the bowls and box of cereal and hurries out of the room.

With a groan, Ven leans back in his chair. He can practically feel the worry emanating from all of them. He should never have told Sora about his sleepless night. It's not that big of a deal.

"I'm fine," Ven says aloud, although there is no one there to hear him. But maybe he only said it to convince himself.

…

"Here you go," Zack says, setting a plate stacked high with french toast in front of Ven along with a bottle of syrup.

"Thanks," Ven says quietly. He pours the syrup on his plate, drowning his breakfast in it, and hands it over to Zack who takes a more reasonable amount.

Using the side of his fork, Ven cuts the corner off a piece and swirls it through the syrup. It's cinnamon french toast, and he knows it smells good, but the last thing he wants to do it take a bite. He can feel Zack's eyes on him, waiting for him to eat, and Ven braces himself to brush off any of Zack's concerns.

"You need to eat."

It's the words he expects, but it's not Zack who says it.

Ven turns his head and jumps, almost knocking his plate off the table, seeing Vanitas sitting backwards in a chair at a nearby table, staring him down with a hard expression.

"Ven?" Zack's hand on his makes Ven jump again. "You okay?"

Ven looks from him to Vanitas and back, mouth open, but no words coming out. Vanitas reaches out a hand and waves it in Zack's face. Zack doesn't blink and the crease lines in his forehead as he looks at Ven don't waver.

"Uh…" Ven manages to move his head in something of a nod and Zack rubs one more circle on the back of Ven's hand before leaning back.

He points to Ven's food. "You really should eat something," he says. "It worries me that you haven't eaten more than a few bites since you got back."

In his seat, Vanitas leans forward. Under both of their stares, Ven puts the piece of french toast on his fork and forces himself to chew. Swallowing, he gives Zack a small smile and Zack grins back, digging into his food as well.

Ven stabs another piece and raises it up to eye level, watching the syrup drip. "It's not poison, you know," Vanitas says and Ven looks at him. "Don't look so scared of it."

"So what do you want to do today?" Zack asks at the same time and Ven blinks.

"What?"

Syrup drips on his hand and Ven quickly shoves the bite in his mouth.

"We could go shopping," Zack says as he chews. "Get you some new clothes."

"Y-yeah," Ven says taking another bite. "That sounds good." He nods along as Zack talks about stores and sales going on around Traverse Town and sneaks glances in Vanitas' direction, hoping each time that his darker half wouldn't be staring at him with that smug half smile. But every time he looks, Vanitas is still there.

Ven manages to force down half his breakfast and is grateful that Zack doesn't press him for more. "I'll clean these up and we can go out," Zack says, picking up the dishes and taking them back to the kitchen.

"Thanks," Ven says and as soon as Zack is out of sight he rounds on Vanitas. "What are you doing here?" He demands, only growing more irritated when Vanitas smirks.

"You know what."

"No," Ven says, lowering his voice with a glance in the direction of the kitchen. "I don't. Now tell me or I'll-"

"Or you'll what?" Vanitas asks. He rises from his chair and Ven sits back, watching him warily. "What, Ven? I'm curious."

Ven's jaw clenches. "You need to leave."

"Don't think I can, at least not really," Vanitas says, shrugging his shoulders. "You're stuck with me as the devil on your shoulder. But look on the bright side, Ven," he smirks wider. "At least I'm the devil you know."

Ven turns away from Vanitas, setting his hands on the table and staring at the space between them. "You're not real," he whispers, refusing to look at Vanitas as he slides into Zack's vacated seat. "You're an illusion. Like everything else in that castle."

"Come on, Ven. You know that's not true," Vanitas says and Ven glances up to see him cross his arms. "If I was an illusion from the castle, how could I still be around?"

Ven looks down again. "Zack couldn't see you."

"That's because I'm in your heart," Vanitas replies. He leans across the table and pokes Ven in the chest, making Ven flinch. "I'm real, but that's just between you and me." He smirks again. "Idiot."

Ven slaps his hand away. "Then why are you here? Like this," he gestures at him. "Are you only here to annoy me?"

"Hmph. I wish." Vanitas sits back in his chair, crossing his arms again. "I was around in the castle because you needed me there. Guess you still need me around."

Now it's Ven's turn to lean across the table. "I'm fine," he says through gritted teeth, tired of everyone handling him like he's fragile.

"You say something, Ven?"

Ven's head jerks up to see Zack coming back into the main room. "No," he replies too fast and stands. Something in his expression makes Zack frown though and he walks over, taking both Ven's hands in his.

"You sure you're okay?" He asks and Ven can't stop himself from glancing at Vanitas

Staring at his and Zack's intertwined fingers, Vanitas rolls his eyes. "See you around, Ven," he says and a blink of the eye later, he's gone.

Zack drops one of Ven's hands to touch his cheek. "Ven?"

"Fine," Ven says, turning back to him quickly. "I'm fine."

Zack's lips twist, unconvinced, and he stares into Ven's eyes while Ven for his part tries not to fidget. "Zack?" he says after the moment stretches on too long and to his surprise, Zack captures his lips in a sudden kiss.

Surprised but not at all unwilling, Ven's eyes slide shut and touches a hand to Zack's waist, pulling him closer. It's exactly what he needs, slowing down his confused thoughts and relaxing him. When they part, Ven is smiling. "What was that for?"

Zack shrugs. "Wanted to."

"Oh?" Ven says, teasingly. "Want to again?"

Zack's thumb brushes the corner of Ven's lips. "Always."

Sora, having come back downstairs silent and unnoticed, saunters passed them, whispering under his breath, "Ven and Zack sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G."

Both turn to him and he gives them a cheeky smile before running out the door of the bar.

"Did you start him doing that again?" Zack asks and Ven laughs, wrapping his arms around Zack's neck.

"Maybe," he says. "But you have to admit, he's not wrong."

"While if I have to admit it…"

Ven laughs again and Zack draws him back into a kiss. There, in Zack's arms, he finally convinces himself. He is okay.

* * *

 **micaelaann. cruz: The search for the others will resume soon I promise!**

 **TayTay:** **You're wish is my command ;) I can't keep Vani away for long**

 **Amestri:** **No need to apologize for being late! I'm late too!**

 **Happy Novemeber!**

 **I'm back and so is our favorite black-haired friend. That's right, Vanitas is back and better than ever! Or is he badder than ever? *wiggles eyebrows mischievously***

 **Guess you'll have to read on to find out :D**


	15. Going Places

Chapter 15 _Going Places_

"Hold on," Tay says, grabbing for the next ledge above his head. "You're saying some worlds don't have humans and instead there are talking animals?"

"Yep," Aqua says, short of breath. She pauses to shake some sweaty hair out of her face.

Tay pulls himself up beside her, pausing as well nearly three quarters of the way up the canyon wall. "And you turn into animals like them when you go to these worlds?"

"Sometimes," Aqua replies. "If we want to. It's a fairly simple spell."

Shaking his head, Tay reaches up for the next hand hold. "I can't believe I missed Ven getting turned into a lion."

Aqua laughs at that and lifts her foot to a new spot. "Not a lion. Terra and I were lions, but Ven was only a cub." She laughs again. "A teeny tiny cub."

Tay ducks his head between his arms to look at her. "How teeny tiny?"

"House cat sized," Aqua says and Tay's jaw drops a little

"Are fucking serious?" He says and throws his head back with laughter. "Oh my god. Little bitty baby cub Ven."

"He was pretty adorable," Aqua says, passing Tay. "Especially when he got all upset that he was too little to fight. His face got all scrunched up…"

She imitates Ven's pout and Tay snorts with laughter again. "I can imagine," he says, looking up to see how far they still have to go. "He was always so easy to rile up with a joke about his height."

Aqua laughs too and reaches up, finding she's at the top. With a grunt and a less than graceful lurch forward, she makes it over the ledge.

"What do you see?" Tay asks.

Aqua scans the empty expanse in front her, wondering how far it really goes for. "Darkness."

"There's a surprise," Tay says humorlessly.

Aqua gives him a thin smiles and offers her hand to him, pulling him up over the ledge. "What about you?" she asks, dusting off her hands. "I'm sure you have a lot of stories about Ven."

Tay looks down at that. "Loads, but most aren't memorable for happy reasons."

"Oh." Aqua should have guessed that. Stories from time spent on Carinol probably all were tinged with dark; the memories of her short visit there with Ven certainly were. That's why she hadn't told Tay about that mission yet. Prince Keric didn't come into Ven's life until after Tay had died and she would let Ven decide to tell Tay about him or not once they found their way back to him.

If they ever found their way back to him.

With a small sigh, Aqua pulls the glowing medallion from her pocket, hoping the its light will help stave off dark thoughts.

"Tell me more about Zack," Tay says as they begin to walk. "You said he's good to Ven?"

Aqua nods. She hadn't meant to out Ven to Tay, but when she told stories about Ven, it was hard to leave out the parts with Zack. "He's going to be so happy you approve," Aqua says. "Ven was so worried when he told us he liked guys. He said your home world wasn't all that accepting."

"Sure as hell wasn't," Tay replied, eyes narrowing at the thought. "But I wished he'd told me. I wouldn't have tried to set him up with so many girls."

"Yes, he did mention you were quite the ladies man."

Tay shrugs. "I have an eye beautiful things. And sometimes they have an eye for me."

"Is that so?" Aqua glances at Tay to find him looking at her. And standing rather close. She blushes and turns away again, putting the medallion back in her pocket. "Tay, I -"

"You have Terra, I know," Tay says, his voice kind enough to make Aqua look at him again. "You're in the realm of Darkness for the guy. I know I've got no chance against that. I just, uh, have a tendency to flirt without meaning to so sorry, for now and in advance." A little embarrassed himself now, Tay folds his arms behind his head in a way that makes Aqua smile. He and Ven are so alike.

A growl in the darkness makes them both stop and move closer together. "You see it?" Tay asks and Aqua shakes her head first, turning on the spot and spotting the looming form of a Darkside coming into their path.

"There," she says, pointing and Tay falls into a ready position, his sword in his hand in a second.

"You can use magic, right?" Tay asks and Aqua nods. "I'll face him head on then, and you get behind him and blast him to pieces. Sound good?"

"Sounds great," Aqua says and Tay let's out a small laugh. The Darkside is in no hurry, but it's almost to them and Tay readjusts his grip a few times.

"Don't catch me in the crossfire," he warns Aqua and she throws him a grin.

"Oh, I don't miss."

Tay laughs again. "Duly noted," he says and charges forward.

Aqua runs around the heartless, watching Tay stab at its ankles. It seems more irritated than injured and raises a foot to stomp him. "Thundera," Aqua calls out and the electric shock makes the Darkside twitch and look to her.

Tay moves to slicing at its knees and Aqua starts a barrage of fireballs that drains her small magic reserves too quickly.

The heartless, frustrated, doesn't know which to go after first and slams its fist on the ground instead, sending a shock wave that makes them both stagger. Tay recovers quick and slashes at the Darkside's hand, now in reach. It roars in fury and lashes out, knocking him into the air.

"Tay!" Aqua shouts and starts running towards him.

He hits the ground flat on his back, sword dropping out of his hand and landing out of reach. The last bit of magic Aqua can summon into a fireball barely makes the Darkside flinch as it draws closer to Tay.

"Hey, ugly!" Aqua shouts, waving her arms. The Darkside pauses, yellow eyes locking onto her instead. Digging the medallion from her pocket she holds it up, the sudden light making the Darkside flinch. "You don't like it?" She continues to shout, edging closer to Tay. "Then come and stop me!"

With a grunting roar, the heartless lumbers towards her and Tay scrambles to pick up his sword. "Aqua!" He says and slides the sword across the ground in her direction.

Adrenaline pumping, blood pounding in her ears, Aqua rushes for the sword, picking it up and moving out of the way before the Darkside's hand can slam down on her. It's bent over, one hand on the ground, and it's yellow eyes are almost at eye level, the perfect height for Aqua to drive Tay's sword between them.

It howls and jerks upright, but Aqua isn't done. For too long she's been running from these things, hiding, using just enough magic to make an escape. But she's not running anymore.

She charges and jumps, using the Darkside's closest knee to push off of and leap even higher. At the peak of her jump she slashes once and then twice and finishes with a stab clean through the heartless' chest. It's gone before she lands back on the ground, faded back into the darkness it had come from.

"Aqua, that was…"

Tay's on his feet struggling to find the right word and Aqua blushes. She hands him back his sword saying, "I'm a little rusty." It's been far too long since she's held her keyblade.

"Rusty my ass." Tay's wide eyed expression makes her blush even darker. "That was fucking amazing," he says.

"Thanks," Aqua says, tugging at her hair. "It's been awhile since I last…." She trails off staring over Tay's shoulder. "It's back," she breathes and Tay jumps thinking she meant the heartless.

Instead she points with a shaking hand to an outcropping of rocks near them. There, at the top, is a floating keyblade, glowing as a beacon to them.

Tay joins Aqua in staring at it. "What is it?"

"Terra," Aqua says, not sure if she wants to laugh out of happiness or cry. "His light. It's here to lead us." And she takes off running.

…

The sun overhead blinds Zexion as he steps out of the dark corridor and he untangles his arm from Demyx to shield his eyes. "Where are we?" He asks, squinting at the sand and the sea, shining brightly with the reflection of the sun.

"Destiny Islands," Demyx says, looking around too. "Axel said- there he is!"

Zexion cranes his head up to see Axel standing at the top of a maze of ladders and rickety platforms that wrap up and around a huge tree on the edge of the beach.

"Took you long enough!" Axel shouts down to them. He holds a finger up to them in a wait-a-moment gesture and disappeared into a room carved out of the thick tree trunk. A few seconds later he comes back out, leading Roxas with a hand on his shoulder and talking earnestly to him.

Roxas bites his lip, but with a long look down at Zexion and Demyx, he nods to Axel and starts down the closest ladder.

Demyx hurries over to the bottom of the structure with Zexion following behind and bounces on the balls of his feet in anticipation. He doesn't even let Roxas get off the ladder before hugging him around the middle and lifting him into the air.

"Roxas!" He says, swinging him around a bit. "Last time I saw you you were out like a -"

"Let me go!" Roxas shouts angrily and twists in Demyx's hold, a fist raised.

"Rox, stop." Axel grabs his arm before he can swing. Demyx drops Roxas instantly and Axel yanks him back without letting go of his wrist. "I told you they were friends."

Roxas twists against Axel's grip, growling, "He attacked me."

"He was hugging you. _Hugging_ ," Axel said. "We've been over what that is, haven't we?"

Roxas's expression darkens and he finally shakes off Axel's grip. "I don't like it."

"'Course you don't," Axel mutters. He turns to a stunned Demyx and an intrigued Zexion. "Um…" he rubs the back of his head. "Do you want the short story or the long story?"

"Short," Demyx says.

"Then long," Zexion adds.

Axel nods and gestures a glowering Roxas back over to them. "Roxas, this is Zexion and Demyx. _Friends_ ," he says again, with emphasis. "Zex, Dem, meet Roxas. The Nobody version."

"What do you mean the -" Demyx starts to say, but then his eyes go wide. "He wasn't a Nobody before?"

Axel shakes his head and gives Zexion a small smile. "Guess you should have put money on that heart theory of yours."

"A Somebody in the Organization," Zexion says quietly. "Do you think Xemnas knew?'

"No clue," Axel says. "And I don't think Somebody is the right word. More like...Nobody that happened to have a heart."

Zexion raises an eyebrow at him. "That's the definition of a Somebody."

"It doesn't matter," Demyx interjects before they can really start to argue. "How did he lose his heart?"

Axel glances at Roxas who is still looking at Zexion and Demyx like they might be threats. "That's the long story."

…

Stepping right up to the water, Axel lets each waves lick his shoes while he stares out over the horizon at the far off main island and the town on the shore he could just make out.

"Are you alright, Axel?" Zexion asks from behind him and Axel shrugs without turning.

"I can't afford to not be," he replies. "Roxas needs me too much."

Zexion steps up beside him, looking out over the ocean too. "Are you afraid of the Organization coming after you?"

"Not my biggest concern right now," Axel says with another shrug.

Zexion studies him a moment and says, "Don't stress so much about Roxas." Axel stiffens, but Zexion takes no notice. "I think he is doing very well considering what happened."

"Well?" Axel wants to shout, but he settles for an angry whisper. "He's amnesic."

"It's fairly common for a brand new Nobody to forget their life as a Somebody at first," Zexion says, keeping a calm tone. "It happened to all of us if you recall. But those memories weren't completely lost. It may take time, but Roxas should recover his memories. Has he remembered anything at all?"

Axel closes his eyes and crosses his arms. "He remembers things like how to talk and which way his pants go on, but everything else is gone," he says. "He doesn't remember his name or who he is. He doesn't know who we are or anything about the organization. He doesn't even remember -" Axel sighs and Zexion touches his shoulder.

"You never know what might spark a memory," Zexion tells him. "It could be a sight, a smell, or a voice. Give him time, Axel. That is the best way to help him."

"Thanks Zexion," Axel says feeling like the crushing guilt on his shoulders had lifted slightly. He looks to where Demyx is sitting with Roxas. The sitar player is talking incessantly and waving his hands around in emphase. He is oblivious to the glare Roxas is giving him. "What are you and Dem going to do now?"

Zexion shrugs. "Freeing the keyblade wielders dealt a blow to the Organization, but they will recover and be out for revenge. For now we'll lay low, but we'll go to that Sora kid and see if he could use a few more soldiers. I'm going to make sure Xemnas is stopped if it is the last thing I do."

Axel doesn't doubt that, but he has to ask, "And Dem is on board with that?" The answer is clear from the way Zexion's eyebrows draw together.

"You know he's not a fighter, Axel. It's not his nature" Zexion replies. "But as long as Xemnas is around, we'll always be looking over our shoulder. I can't let Dem spend the rest of his life on the run from the Organization because of what I did."

"He wanted to run with you," Axel says, slapping his friend on the shoulder. "Remember that."

Leaving Zexion on the beach to think, Axel starts walking towards the others. Spotting him, Demyx gets to his feet and meets him halfway.

"Does Zex know how to help Roxas?" He asks.

"Not exactly," Axel replies, looking over Demyx's shoulder at Roxas. "But I think I have an idea."

* * *

 **I rushed through finishing this chapter to get it out today so hopefully grammer and stuff isn't too bad.**

 **Thank you micaelaann. cruz,** **LightzMusic22, and Amestri for reviewing last chapter. There will be more Zactus and Vanitas fun in the next chapter, but first I have to ask, what do you think about Tay and Aqua ;)**


	16. The One Where Ven -

Chapter 16 _The One Where Ven Keeps Telling Everyone He's Fine_

A knock at his bedroom door startles Ven out of his thoughts. Uncurling himself from the window seat, he glances at the clock as he makes his way to the door. Almost 4 in the afternoon and he's spent almost the whole day in the same position, staring out the window wishing sleep would just sneak up on him and pull him under.

"Who is it?" Vanitas calls out to the door like anyone but Ven can hear him and grins to himself from his perch on the desk against the wall. Ven ignores him and opens the door to see Sora rocking on the balls of this feet.

"Ven," Sora says before the door is fully open. His smile wavers. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," Ven replies. It's an automatic response now. Not that he is annoyed any less by the way Sora is staring at him. "What?" He asks more harshly than he means to and Sora shifts his gaze to the floor.

"Nothing. I-" Sora bites his lip and rocks on his feet again. "Nothing. I shouldn't ask - I'm going to go see if -"

"Sora, wait," Ven says as Sora starts to inch away down the hall. "What did you want to ask me?"

Again Sora hesitates, but after a moment he sighs and leans against the door frame. "I need a favor," he says, but quickly adds. "I mean, if you feel up for it. If not don't feel like I'm forcing you because I'm not and -"

"Hit him or something to make him stop talking," Vanitas grumbles over Sora and Ven throws him a reproachful look.

"- I promised Kairi I would spend the afternoon with her."

Ven blinks, realizing Sora is waiting for an answer on some question he'd missed. "What?"

"I promised yesterday that I'd spend the day with her," Sora repeats. "I've already asked everyone else, but no one's free to cover my shift."

"You want me to cover your militia shift?" Ven guesses and Sora nods, staring at him with that concerned look again. Ven barely has to consider a moment. Fighting heartless would be straightforward, something he understands, something he can do instead of being a helpless shut in that he is sure by now everyone thinks he is. "Sounds like fun."

"You feel up to it?" Sora says and it's clear to Ven he wishes he hadn't asked. "It's covering whole second district by yourself. If you need more time to rest, I'm sure Kairi will understand."

"Sora…" Ven fights the urge to roll his eyes and summons his keyblade. "I'm fine and I'm hitting something with my keyblade today. You can decide if it's going to be some heartless or you."

Vanitas lets out a bark of laughter, but Sora lips barely twitch in a smile. And he is still staring.

"I'll be fine, Sora," Ven says and emphasizes the point by walking around him and heading for the stairs. Vanitas walks by his side with Sora trailing behind.

"The heartless tend to show up in the open space by the fountain," Sora says. "Sometimes they like the alley to the third district too."

"Okay."

"And you count the number of heartless. Leon hates when I lose track."

"Count the heartless. Got it." Ven reaches the stairs and starts down.

"They come in bunches and it can be really overwhelming if you're not prepared for it."

Ven stops and turns sharply, making Sora pull up short. "Isn't Kairi waiting on you?" He asks and Sora jumps.

"Right! Well…" He hesitates. "Be careful."

"I will," Ven promises and Sora retreats back upstairs leaving Ven to sigh and roll his eyes. A reaction mirrored by Vanitas.

"He does know I'm a keyblade wielder too, doesn't he?" Ven asks Vanitas who shrugs. "Honestly," he continues walking through the bar. "I don't need him telling me heartless come in bunches -"

He catches sight of his reflection in the dark glass of the bar door and it brings it to him a stop. The bags under his eyes are so dark they look like he'd painted them on and he touches one, counting up the hours to himself of how long he has gone without sleep since waking up in Castle Oblivion.

"You look terrible," Vanitas says and Ven can't really argue with him. No wonder Sora was staring.

"Ven."

Ven turn to see Zack coming into the bar. His hair is wet from a shower and Ven remembers he'd had a shift with the militia earlier.

"Where are you going?" Zack asks, surprised to see Ven out of his room.

Ven reaches to push the door out of the bar open. "I'm taking Sora's shift for him in the second district," he says and Zack stiffens.

"He's going to try and stop you," Vanitas says in Ven's ear. "Start walking."

Ven does just that, hurrying out of the bar and ignoring Zack calling him back. He can't stop Zack from chasing after him though and he only makes it to Cid's shop before Zack catches up to him.

"You can't go fighting alone," Zack says, moving in front of Ven. but Ven keeps walking.

"I'm fine, Zack," he says, knowing he sounds like a broken record.

"You only just got back," Zack says, matching his pace even as Ven speeds up. "You don't need to fight if you're not ready. I can take this shift and you can take one when you feel better-"

"Zack." Ven rounds on him, his temper flaring. It's been quick to do that lately and he only just manages to keep himself from shouting. "I am fine."

Zack opens his mouth and shuts it again. Ven takes that as a sign that he convinced him and continues to the doors to the second district when Zack asks. "How many hours did you sleep last night?"

The question makes Ven stop dead and turn around to face Zack's worried expression.

"Big fat zero," Vanitas says and Ven almost repeats him, but catches himself at the last moment.

"Enough," he lies instead and turns back to open the doors.

Zack catches his hand. "Ven, you should -"

With a jerk, Ven pulls out of his grip. "I can handle a few Shadow and Soldier heartless. I'm not a child, you know."

Zack moves to take Ven's hand again. "I know. But-"

"I'm a keyblade wielder," Ven says, his voice rising over Zack's. "Fighting heartless is what I do and I need to do this."

Through a bored yawn, Vanitas says, "You tell him, Ven. We don't need his permission."

Ven crosses his arms, tense and ready to shout back if Zack says one more pitying sentence. Zack sighs, the worry lines in his forehead lessening but not disappearing completely. He reaches for Ven's hand and Ven let's him take it. "I'm sorry," Zack says stepping closer to Ven. He presses a light kiss to Ven's knuckles. "I understand."

"I need to feel like me again," Ven says, his voice still tight with frustration.

"That's all I want for you," Zack says, bringing them closer together. "But I need something too."

"What's that?" Ven asks, keeping a guarded tone. He can't go on doing nothing but stare at walls day and night if that's what Zack's asking.

"I -" Zack cuts himself off and looks down. "I know you need space, but...every moment I'm not with you, I'm terrified."

Ven touches Zack's chin, tilting his head up to look him in the eye. "Terrified of what?"

Zack swallows, a saddened look in his eye that Ven has gotten to used to seeing. "I'm terrified that you'll disappear again. That we'll be seperated again. And I can't… I can't…" Zack's head droops again. "It's sounds crazy, I know, but can't help being afraid of losing you again."

"He never struck me as the sappy type," Vanitas grumbles, leaning against the nearest wall.

Ven ignores him and hugs Zack tightly. "It doesn't sound crazy," he murmurs into his shoulder. It isn't all that different from how he feels at the moment. Sometimes when he's alone, memories of Zack's body in the alley and empty staring eyes flash in his mind. Or Terra and Aqua lying in the dust of the Pride Lands. He knows they were illusions. He knows Zack is alive and that Terra and Aqua weren't trampled in the stampede, but he can't conjure the real memories and the fake ones Namine made stick in the back of his mind, keeping him terrified and unable to relax.

Zack pulls back. "So if you need to fight heartless, all I ask is that you let me fight beside you," he says.

Ven smiles, getting Zack to smile too. "I would like that."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Ven says and brings their lips together. When they're this close, fitting together in such a perfect way, Ven feels his mixed up thoughts calm and he sighs into the kiss.

Vanitas groans and says, "Get to the fighting before the two of you make me throw up."

Ven laughs, breaking his and Zack's kiss. Zack gives him a questioning look, but Ven shakes his head and summons his keyblade. "Let's get to the fighting," he says, and leads the way into the second district.

...

The fighting, as Ven expected, is freeing.

He can't afford to let his mind dwell on other things when there are heartless coming from all sides. At first he worries that it might bring back the trapped feeling he'd constantly had in Castle Oblivion, but with Zack close at hand and Vanitas watching from where he sits on the ledge by the staircase, he feels safe.

And in between the bursts of heartless, he and Zack sit together on the benches talking about simple things. About their friends, about the patrons at the bar. They talk like they are normal people. Like they would have if nothing had happened to Ven ten years ago.

Through the talks and though the battles, Ven is smiling. He feels strong, he feels happy - until the exhaustion starts setting in.

"You're fighting clumsy," Vanitas comments from his perch above the fight and Ven doesn't waste the time to glare at him. Regaining a balanced footing, he knocks a Red Nocturne out of the air and it disappears, releasing it's heart.

"I'm serious," Vanitas says as Ven jumps out of the way of a charging Large Body. It clips him on the way past and knocks him to one knee. "You've made your point and now you're exhaustion is showing."

"I'm fine," Ven huffs out, using his keyblade as a crutch to push himself back to his feet. To prove it, he slashes his keyblade into the nearest soldier and ends it with a fast combo. He hates the way he stumbles on the landing and in the time it takes him to get back in a battle position, the last soldier heartless runs off, disappearing around the corner towards Cid's house.

"Damn it," Ven mutters, glancing to where Zack is. The Large Body that had clipped him had set its sights on Zack instead and between it and a couple shadow heartless darting around his feet, Zack has a lot on his plate. However, he has it handled and doesn't look like he needs Ven to step in.

"You're being an idiot." Swinging off his ledge, Vanitas hops down the steps and with a sneer at Zack, he comes to Ven's side. "Do you know you're swaying?" He asks and Ven leans against his keyblade to steady himself.

"I'm fine-"

"You're exhausted and you're going to get yourself killed," Vanitas snaps.

Ven rolls his eyes and lurches off his keyblade, moving towards where the Soldier heartless had disappeared.

"Are you this fucking stupid?" Vanitas says, chasing after him.

"It's one puny heartless," Ven says, not wasting a glance at Vanitas. He can't drop out mid-battle. He's stronger than that. He has to be.

The soldier heartless freezes when it sees Ven, blank yellow eyes staring right at him. Three Blue Rhapsody heartless pop into existence above it's head and Ven swallows hard. Raising his keyblade, he says, "Firaga." The fireball that explodes out of the tip hits the Soldier in the chest, making it fall on it's back.

Leaving it to fade, Ven jumps over it and strikes out at the nearest Blue Rhapsody. He lands two hits on it, sending it spinning, and goes in for the combo finish.

"Duck!"

At Vanitas' shout, Ven falters, missing the combo, and turns, flinching as a blizzard spell from one of the other heartless misses his head by an inch.

"Ven," Vanitas shouts angrily. "Listen to me."

Spinning back around, Ven stabs the first Blue Rhapsody and it fades. "Fira," Ven says and blasts the next heartless away from his head. It's friend catches him in the stomach with a blizzard spell and in his exhausted state, the weak spell nearly knocks Ven off his feet.

"You're not going to convince anyone you're fine if a single blizzard spell takes you out," Vanitas says and if Ven wasn't in the middle of a battle, he would have thrown his keyblade at him.

Instead, Ven throws it at the remaining two Blue Rhapsody heartless and it hits both, killing one. "I don't need your advice and your backseat driving," Ven says to Vanitas, breathing hard and taking out the last heartless with a final hit from his keyblade..

"Suit yourself," Vanitas says, crossing his arms. "I won't tell you that Soldier didn't fade."

"What?" Ven spins around in time to see the Soldier, back on it's feet, leap at him with sharp claws glinting. He brings his keyblade up in a block, but the collision knocks him down. The weight of the Soldier on his chest keeps him stuck on his back and he's too tired to push it off.

" _You can't save yourself, can you?"_ Namine's mocking voice echoes in his head, gloating and gleeful.

"Zack!" Ven shouts, eyes shutting tight as the tip of one of the Soldier's claws scratches his cheek. "Zack!"

Zack's not coming. Behind his eyelids, all Ven sees is the dark alley and the darker puddle of blood under Zack's still body. Zack's not coming to his rescue.

Keric is laughing at him, sitting on top of him. " _You're trapped in here. Just you and me."_

Ven gasps, struggling futilely. "Vanitas!" He shouts this time, reaching a hand out to his side. Reaching for the hand that had vanquished so many of his nightmares.

But they're under the endless pile of Neoshadows and Ven is grasping at empty air, thrashing against the pressure on his chest. The crushing weight. The inability to breathe.

"It's not real." Vanitas voice, harsh and urgent, reaches Ven's ears like he is saying it from very far away. "Ven, it's not real." The Neoshadows fade, taking with them the pressure holding him tight in place. "Your mind is playing a trick on you." A hand takes hold of his. "Open your eyes."

Ven does as he is told and all the breath leaves him in a single shaking gasp seeing Zack leaning over him from one side and Vanitas doing the same on the other. A sob comes with his next breath and Ven surges upwards, clinging to Zack with the hand he isn't already holding.

"It's okay, Ven," Zack whispers, out of breath. "I'm here. It's okay."

"I can't be trapped again." Ven hates the tears in the corners of his eyes, but he can't stop them from falling, making marks on Zack's shirt. "I can't be - I can't -"

Zack's hand cards through his hair. "Shh, Ven. You're alright. I've got you. You're alright."

"Hmph." Ven looks over Zack's shoulder at Vanitas, standing over the two of them with downturned eyebrows. "Like he deserves to take credit," Vanitas mutters.

Ven pulls back, wiping a hand over his eyes. "S-sorry. I'm sorry," he says, trying to stop himself from trembling. No wonder everyone thinks he's a helpless wreck.

"You don't need to apologize, Ven," Zack says in the soft, pitying voice Ven has grown to hate. "We're you having some sort of flashback? You shouted 'Vanitas'."

Ven meets Vanitas eyes for a moment, but doesn't answer Zack's question. Closing his eyes, he presses his palms against them, rubbing hard. What is happening to him? When did it get so hard to think straight?

"Is it something to do with Castle Oblivion?" Zack asks, gently. His hand touches Ven's knee. "Was he somehow part of what happened to you there?"

Ven drops his hands and Vanitas crouches down beside him too. "He wasn't there," Vanitas says, trying to get Ven to look at him instead of Zack. "He won't understand what it was like and…" He pauses. "He won't believe that I am only here to help you. He'll think you're crazy."

"It's okay, Ven," Zack says. "You can talk to me."

"I…" Ven shakes his head, not meeting Zack's eyes. "I'm fine," he whispers and pushes himself to his feet.

Zack stands as well, keeping close. "Vanitas is long gone," he says and Ven's head snaps up. "He can't hurt you or me or anyone else anymore."

"Man, I wish I could sucker punch him right now," Vanitas says, winding up like he might try it. "He'd be so surprised…"

"And if he was," Zack continues, his eyebrows turning down. "He wouldn't stand a chance. I would kill him. I swear Ven, anyone who tries to hurt you, I will kill them."

Vanitas let's out a low whistle. "Someone's been eating their wheaties."

"Please don't say that," Ven says to Zack, wrapping his arms tight around himself. "Please don't say you're going to fight my battle for me. I don't need that. I need to fight my own battles and right now I just…" Ven's hands drop to his sides, exhausted and defeated. His head hurts from the whiplash he gets every time Vanitas and Zack talk at the same time.

Zack's hand touches his cheek, wiping off the blood from the scratch Ven had forgotten the Soldier had given him. "One day you'll be able to say you're fine and it will be true," he says and his sincerity makes Ven believe it for a moment. "And if you won't let me fight your battles for you, can you at least let me fight beside you?"

"You don't need him," Vanitas says at the same time Ven says, "Yes."

Zack smiles. "Good," he says and his arm loops around Ven's waist to support him as they walk back towards the first district.

"Zack, I don't need-"

"Indulge me," Zack says and Ven sighs instead of putting up an argument.

They walk across the district in silence. Vanitas moves ahead of them and turns to walk backwards to face Ven.

"You know he didn't mean it," Vanitas says. "That 'fight beside you', 'fighting together' crap. He only said it because it's what you wanted to hear."

Ven shakes his head slightly, so Zack won't notice.

Vanitas scoffs, rolling his eyes. "Stop lying to yourself. You know he didn't mean it. After this fiasco, he won't let you near a kitchen knife let alone a fight with heartless.

Ven shakes his head again and looks to Zack. "Can we try this again tomorrow?" He asks and Vanitas expression only turns more smug at Zack's hesitation.

"I think it might be best for you to rest for a little while longer," Zack replies slowly, opening the door for them back to the first district. "Once you feel a little better -"

"See?" Vanitas says, speaking over Zack. "He's treating you like a child. You think he was mother-hening you before, you just wait. He's be so overprotective of you, he's going to suffocate you. Trap you like everyone's been trying to do your whole life."

"Shut up," Ven says and Zack stiffens beside him, cutting off mid word of whatever he'd been saying. "I'm sorry. I…" Ven says to Zack. "I have a headache and I can't…"

He trails off, not knowing what to say. "It's alright," Zack replies and Ven can feel his face heating up.

"You are helping them right along with their case for labeling you insane," Vanitas says, smirking. Ven pointedly doesn't react and Vanitas moves closer. "You know, your cheeks are bright red right now," Vanitas says, poking at his face. Ven twitches away, earning questioning look from Zack. He tightens his hand on Ven's hip in a way that is supposed to be comforting, but it takes all Ven's composure not to slap it away.

They're almost to the bar and Ven focuses on keeping it together. Once they're inside he can make an excuse and flee to his room. Sort out his jumbled thoughts alone. Or, at least, as alone as he can be at the moment.

Stepping across the threshold of the bar, Ven pulls out of Zack's hold and Zack lets him.

"Why don't you sit?" Zack pulls a nearby chair out for him and Ven sits down without argument despite the annoyance simmering inside of him. Vanitas stands nearby and Ven ignores him too.

Taking a moment too long to look him over, Zack turns away to stalk over to Tifa who is behind the bar, watching them with a curious expression. "Where's Sora?" Zack asks her and she frowns at his hard tone.

"Upstairs last I-" Tifa replies, but Zack walks over to the staircase without letting her finish.

"Sora!" He shouts up. "Get down here right now!"

"Zack." Tifa puts her hands on her hips. "Stop yelling. What's wrong?"

A door opens upstairs and Sora comes hurrying down the steps with Kairi behind him. "Why are you yelling?" He asks Zack before looking past him and seeing Ven. His face pales slightly. "What happened?"

"You pawned off your shift on Ven," Zack says angrily. "Did you think that maybe his first time going into a fight since getting back wouldn't be a walk in the park or did you -"

"He's very protective, isn't he?" Vanitas says. "Yelling at kids for you. How romantic."

"Shut it," Ven whispers out of the corner of his mouth and stands. "Zack, stop it," he says, his temper flaring. "He didn't do anything wrong. I'm fine."

Zack turns to him. "He shouldn't have asked you to return to fighting before you were ready," he says and Ven stomps over to him.

"I was ready. I'm just -" Ven cuts himself off, not knowing what to say.

"Exhausted to the point where you would collapse if your insomniatic mind would let you?" Vanitas offers and Ven's scowl deepens.

"I'm still adjusting," Ven says, not meeting any of their eyes. After a long pause, he lowers his head and says, "Sora, go finish the shift."

Without a word, Sora hurries out of the bar and at the banging of the door behind him, Ven looks up. "I'm going to go lie down upstairs," he mutters, brushing between Zack and Kairi on his way to the stairs.

"Do you want me to come up in a little bit?" Zack says and Ven pauses with his foot on the first step. "Bring you food or anything?"

"No, you -" Ven takes a deep breath. Zack is suffocating him and he hates that Vanitas was right. "I'm going to take a nap."

Vanitas passes him and goes up the stairs first. "Tell him off."

Ven glares at him and Zack touches his arm. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"Tell him to fuck off, Ven," Vanitas says, leaning next to his ear. "I know you want to. You can't stand that pitying look they all have for you. I'm telling you, they think you're crazy. Especially Zack."

"I'm not crazy!" Ven shouts aloud, right in Zack's face. His chest heaving, Ven can feel Kairi and Tifa staring at him too, but he looks at his shoes.

"I never said you were," Zack says softly. That pitying voice.

Groaning, Ven drags a hand over his face. "I can't think straight-"

"But did you ever really think straight?" Vanitas muses to himself.

"- and there is this annoying buzzing in my head -"

Vanitas eyes narrowed. "I'm not a bee."

"- and I need some quiet," Ven says, a slight edge of begging in his voice. "I just…" His shoulders droop. "I need to sleep." With that he turns and all but sprints upstairs.

Going down the hallway to his room, he passes Vanitas and hurries through the door, slamming it behind him, right in Vanitas face. He takes a breath, steps back, and jumps when Vanitas appears at his side a grin on his face.

"That was fun," Vanitas says. "Did you see Zack's face when you yelled at him? Priceless."

Ven stares at him, hands balling into fists. "Why are you doing this?" He demands. "You're making me seem crazier to them!"

Vanitas shrugs, hopping up onto the desk. "They're already thinking it," he says. "And they think they're helping you, but they can't. They don't get it Ven." He leans forward towards Ven. "I went through everything you went through and I can feel everything you can feel so don't tell me you didn't feel better when you shouted at him."

Ven brings a hand up, pointing a finger right in Vanitas' face. "You're the one that needs to fuck off," he says through gritted teeth, wish he could jab Vanitas right between his ugly yellow eyes. "I don't want to talk to you."

"That doesn't matter." Vanitas lounges back against the wall, lacing his fingers behind his head. "I'm not going anywhere."

With a cross between a groan and a shout, Ven flops back on his bed. "Dick," he mutters to himself.

"I've been called worse."

Ven glances at Vanitas. "Asstard," he says, louder this time.

"Unoriginal," Vanitas says and picks at his nails uninterested.

Sitting up, Ven says, "Demonic son of a bitch."

"Isn't that an insult to your own mother?"

Ven rolls off the bed and stalks back towards Vanitas, saying, "Cock-assed, evil bastard." Ven's keyblade appears in his hand and he pointing it right at Vanitas' chest before he realizes what he is doing.

"Ven-"

"Piss-poor wank hand of a pig fucker," Ven says, leaning forward as his voice rises."Taint kissing, shithead -"

"Who watches your back."

Vanitas leans forward and Ven draws his keyblade back the same amount. "I may be all those things," Vanitas says with a humorless smile. "But I'm here to watch your back. Like I did in Castle Oblivion."

Ven stares into Vanitas' eyes and Vanitas stares right back. After a moment, Ven lets his keyblade disappear. "Why?"

"I can't let you fuck this up," Vanitas says, his smile turning smug. "I'm stuck in your heart so I have to keep you alive." He sighs, returning to his lounging position. "Selfish, I know, but that's me. Pissing pig motherfucker or whatever crap you just called me."

"Piss-poor wank hand of a pig fucker," Ven repeats, unable to stop a small smile. It sounded even dumber the second time around.

"Hmph." Vanitas looks away a second and clears his throat. "Right. Well, get to counting sheep or whatever," he says to Ven, gesturing for him to lie down again. "You need sleep. It's been days."

Ven glances at the clock as he settles back. "54 hours. Not counting however long it took to escape Castle Oblivion. Isn't there a point where a person dies from lack of sleep?"

"Yeah, but they start hallucinating first," Vanitas says. "That'll be a warning for you." Ven turns his head to him and raises an eyebrow at him. "I don't count. I'm not a hallucination," Vanitas adds.

"I'm pretty sure that's what a hallucination would say," Ven says, but he is too tired to care. Sleep is the only thing on his mind and he rolls away from Vanitas.

…

"I've got something to tell you."

Zack looks up at Kairi as she drops into the seat across from him with a serious expression. "If this is about me yelling at Sora, I already know I shouldn't have done that," he mutters and returns to nursing his beer.

"No, you shouldn't have," Kairi says. "But that's not what I'm here to tell you."

"Then spit it out." Zack takes a gulp of his drink and over the brim of the bottle, he watches Kairi raise an eyebrow at him. "What?" He asks, setting the bottle down hard.

She chews on her words a second before saying, "You're not the only one worried about him. You don't need to take your frustration out on the rest of us."

Zack sighs, dropping his head into his hands and closing his eyes for a moment. "I'm sorry," he says when he lift his head back up. "What did you want to tell me?"

Kairi glances over her shoulder to make sure Tifa was still back in the kitchen. "It's kind of a secret," she says, lowering her voice. "Mostly because we're not sure how the adults would react if they knew what we were planning. And we don't think we should tell Ven either."

"Who's we?" Zack asks, sitting up straighter.

"Ryla told Sora, Riku, and I about it, but it was Mickey's idea," Kairi replies. "And Master Amiddon knows too."

Taking another sip of beer, Zack prompts her to continue. "Well? What's the idea?"

There is a clang from the kitchen and Kairi checks behind her again. She beckons Zack closer across the table. "We think Organization XIII knows what happened to Terra, Aqua, and Master Eraqus."

Zack sits back in his chair, thinking. "Then I'm guessing you all want to go after them," he says and Kairi nods. "Have fun breaking that news to Cloud and Tifa."

"I know," Kairi says, rubbing her forehead. "They're going to worry so much. But there will be six of us and we're all keyblade wielders."

"Ven's going to want to go to," Zack says.

"You think he should?" Kairi asks, surprised.

Zack shakes his head quickly. "Not at all. He's…"He struggles to come up with the right word to describe Ven right now, but he can't. "He's going to be pissed if we make him sit the fight out."

Kairi bites her lip. "That's why we don't think we should tell him what we're doing."

Zack considers that and laughs. "He's going to be double pissed when he finds out, then."

"Yeah, but I think it's better than getting his hopes up if we're wrong," Kairi says.

"I guess that's true," Zack says. He takes a long sip of his beer. "Wish you hadn't told me."

"Why?"

"Now I'm part of the conspiracy. We're all lying to him, but of all us I shouldn't be doing that to him. Especially right now." Zack groans and shakes his head. Lying to Ven is the last thing he wants to do. "Does everyone agree it's for the best?"

"I don't think Sora likes it either, but yes," Kairi says.

"Then it looks like I'm lying to my boyfriend." Zack raises his bottle in toast. "This better protect him because once he finds out, I am never getting laid."

Kairi laughs at that and stands. "Be optimistic. Maybe one day he'll look back on it and be able to laugh about it."

"How long you think that will take?" Zack asks.

Kairi thinks for a moment. "You don't mind waiting until you're forty, right?"

"Great," Zack says and downs the last of his beer.

...

As with every time Ven has tried to fall asleep, it won't come despite how exhausted he feels. He tries everything. He counts sheep down from a hundred and at zero he counts back up to 500 before accepting it isn't helping. He curls up on his side, lies stick straight on his back, and then ends up on his stomach with his pillow wrapped in a death grip.

A peek at the clock tells him three hours have passed. Sitting up, he whips his pillow across the room.

"Not working?" Vanitas asks quietly, watching from the desk.

Ven shakes his head and wipes a hand over his eyes before standing and making his way over to the window seat. The stars have come out and he opens the window to breathe in the evening air. Vanitas joins him, sitting on the opposite side of the window.

Ven turns to face him leaning his head back against the wall. "Am I ever going to be okay?" He asks, his voice shaking more than he thought it would.

Vanitas reaches out and lays his hand over Ven's on the windowsill though they can't really touch. "You're going to be fine," Vanitas says. "We'll find a way to get you to sleep."

Ven smiles at that. "You know, if I didn't know any better, I would say you're a good guy."

"Yeah, well, you do know better so don't," Vanitas says, drawing back his hand and folding his arms with a huff. Ven's grin only widens, but he turns back to the stars so Vanitas won't see.

* * *

 **Happy Holidays! It's been over a month since I updated :( and I'm sorry sorry sorry sorry. But this chapter is long hopefully makes up for it at least a little bit.**

 **I started this chapter ages ago, got stuck, finals week hit, came home like 5 days ago and deleted everything I'd already written, began again, and finally finished this chapter**

 **And I love it.**

 **God, I love this chapter! My poor crazy Ven :)**

 **LightzMusic22** **: Awesome! The side stories are important and I'm glad it's not like 'ugh, forget these losers and tell me what's happening with Ven'. And you're getting more of Axel and Roxas in the next three chapters or so.**

 **Amestr** **i** **: I can't lie, I ship Terra and Aqua too hard to ever do anything to break them up. Tay and Aqua might flirt (if I, an antisocial virgin, can write flirting) but they're just friends**

 **It's 1AM here so happy Christmas Eve!**


	17. Sea-Salt Ice Cream

Chapter 17 _Sea-Salt Ice Cream_

In the small room carved into the biggest tree on the island, Roxas paces alone, his eyes constantly drifting to the curtain Axel had strung across the doorway. Every time the breeze picks up, the curtain shifts enough to expose the dark sky outside and it makes Roxas' paces quicken.

Axel hadn't explained himself when he'd taken off a moment after Demyx and Zexion had left. He promised to be back soon and disappeared into a dark corridor leaving Roxas with nothing to do but wait for him to return.

Taking a break from pacing, Roxas picks up his long black coat from the floor by the lantern and shrugs it on. The island goes from hot to cool very quickly once the sun goes down. The hot dogs Roxas had roasted at dinner time are not doubt cold by now, but he walks around the plate he'd left out for Axel.

Returning to his pacing, Roxas let's out a sigh. He doesn't understand why he can't stop moving. If he's not pacing, he's fidgeting with anything and everything in their tree house. What he should be doing is sleeping. It's the right time for it. Every day in his short existence has followed the same rigid schedule and he liked that.

They wake up when the sun comes up and eat. He follows Axel around doing whatever Axel suggests they do and when the sun is as high in the sky as it can be, they eat again. Then Axel likes to take a nap and Roxas sits near by. When Axel wakes, he talks to Roxas about the past life Roxas has no memory of or sometimes they just sit in silence if Axel doesn't want to do that. At sunset, they eat for a third time, clean up, and go to sleep.

Even with Axel gone, Roxas has tried to keep to the schedule. After eating his hot dogs, he spread his bedroll out on one side of the lantern. He also set up Axel's too on the opposite side. But despite the time that has past since sunset, Roxas can't bring himself to lie down.

The creaking of the ladder outside makes Roxas pause. Soft footsteps on the wooden platform that wraps around the tree move closer and Roxas jerks the curtain open, sticking his head outside. "Axel!" He says, spotting the red head.

Axel jumps, nearly dropping the blue plastic cooler he is carrying. "Sheesh, Rox," he says, rubbing the back of his head. "You can't jump out at people like that. I thought you'd be asleep by now."

"Where have you been?" Roxas asks, moving out of the doorway so Axel can come inside. "You missed dinner."

"Sorry, Rox." Axel sets the cooler down and pauses, looking at the plate with two hot dogs. "You made a plate for me?"

"They're probably cold by now," Roxas says, wishing he'd been able to come up with some way to keep them warm.

Axel cocks his head and stares at him in a way that makes Roxas drop his eyes to the ground. "Thanks," Axel says and takes a bite out of one of the hot dogs. "I got something for you too."

With his foot, Axel slides the blue cooler towards Roxas and gestures for him to open it. Curious, Roxas crouches down to do so and peers in. "What are they?"

Axel pauses mid-chew and sets his hot dog back on the plate. "Sea-salt ice cream," Axel says, pulling two of the sticks out. "The best ice cream in all the worlds."

Roxas takes the stick of blue ice cream Axel is offering him and inspects it. "This is why you've been gone for so long?"

"Yeah," Axel says, watching Roxas' ice cream, but making no move to take a bite of his own. "You can only find it in Twilight Town and that place is crawling with Nobodies."

Under Axel's gaze, Roxas takes a slow bite. Axel leans closer, his own ice cream forgotten. 'What do you think?" He asks.

"It's really salty…" Roxas swallows. "But sweet too."

"And?" Axel would fall over if he leans any closer.

"And I like it," Roxas replies, smiling. "Thanks, Axel," he adds and takes another bite.

"You're welcome," Axel says, his shoulder slumping.

Roxas watches him, confused. The slumped shoulders, the downcast eyes, Roxas doesn't understand the sudden change in Axel, but it looks like he said something wrong.

Axel sighs and straightens up, putting his ice cream back in the cooler untouched. "You're not going to eat one?" Roxas asks and Axel shakes his head.

"No. We'll keep the rest for a different day. Maybe -" Axel looks away. "I'm going to turn in."

"Alright." Roxas licks his ice cream, watching Axel shuffle around a moment before lying down on his bedroll. "Goodnight," Roxas offers.

Axel rolls on his side, facing away from Roxas. "Night, Roxas."

With few more bites, Roxas finishes his ice cream and leaves his leftover stick on Axel's plate with the hot dog he hadn't eaten. He turns the lantern between their bedrolls off, but still without the urge to go to sleep, moves to the doorway and pulls back the curtain.

The stars wink at him in their reflection on the waves. With a sigh, Roxas steps out and leans on the railing, staring out to the horizon where the main island is still half lit at this hour. The taste of the ice cream remains on his lips and he touches them, not sure why he came out here.

"Roxas," he said under his breath. It had become a habit of his. Saying the name Axel had given, it helped sometimes. Anchored him, somehow. "My name is Roxas."

An image of a sunset springs unbidden from his mind, replacing the dark night sky.

" _Hey, Roxas."_

Axel's voice comes from his right, clear but somehow far off at the same time. Roxas turns his head and he sees Axel in the coat he now rarely wears sitting beside him on a stone ledge that's worlds away from Destiny Islands.

" _Bet you don't know why the sun sets red?"_

A shot of pain in his temple makes Roxas cringe and shut his eyes. When he opens them again, the starry sky is back and Axel is snoring lightly inside the tree house.

Roxas touches his head gingerly, a slight headache remaining in place of the pain. Part of him wonders what that vision was, but part of him knows the truth. The vision was a memory of the boy Axel swears he used to be.

* * *

 **It's Valentines Day so you're not allowed to hate me!**

 **I'm sorry sorry sorry about not updating this story for so long. I got massive writer's block on the next scene (which was supposed to be in this chapter) and put off working on it for, well, it feels like forever.**

 **Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry**

 **This is so short, but I wanted to get something out.**

 **micaelaann. cruz** **,** **kage kitsune no yami** **,** **Amestri** **,** **Super Guest, and LightzMusic22 thank you so much for reviewing the last chapter. I'm a slow ass and I don't deserve how great you all are.**

 **Happy Valantines Day! Spread love! I wish I had something dripping with fluff to give all of you**


	18. Useless

Chapter 18 _Useless_

With his head pressed against the window, Ven watches the sun peek over the rooftops of the first district. Another sleepless night had passed and he is miserable enough to hit something. 61 hours.

"Hey, Ven," Vanitas says from the other end of the window seat. "How tired are you?"

Ven rolls his eyes and leans more against the window, considering trying to hit Vanitas, but though sometimes it feels like they can touch, Vanitas is like a ghost. And he wants something that would hit back.

"I meant could you get more tired," Vanitas says and Ven turns his head enough to look at him.

"What?"

"Eventually you have to sleep." Vanitas sits up straighter, gesturing to Ven as he talks. "You'll pass out at some point. So how about instead of moping around here, you go speed up the process."

"Your solution to me being exhausted is that I'm not exhausted enough?" Ven gives Vanitas a skeptical look, but in his mind, he mulls over the idea. It sounds stupid - no doubt dangerous too - but, whether the lack of sleep has taken his good judgement or not, he is ready to try anything.

"You go outside and run around," Vanitas says. "Or jumping jacks. Or-"

"Or I can fight some heartless."

Ven stands, summoning his keyblade. He heads out the door of his room and down the stairs to the bar, leaving Vanitas to scramble after him. "Wait, Ven. Hold on."

But Ven marches right out of the bar. The others will wake up soon and if Zack finds out he's going after heartless after promising yesterday to give up fighting for a while, the argument Ven could feel building between them would finally be let loose.

Vanitas gets in front of him halfway across the square to the 3rd district. "Are you really going to fight after yesterday. You almost got yourself killed, idiot."

"I was fine," Ven says, stepping around Vanitas.

"They would have written _Keyblade Master killed by Soldier heartless_ on your headstone."

With his hand on the door handle of the 3rd district, Ven pauses. "I'm not a Master," he says quietly.

Vanitas comes up beside him, and leans with his arms crossed against the door frame. "And you're never going to get to be one if you don't listen to me."

"I am listening to you, aren't I?" Ven says, glaring at him. "Off to make myself pass out, like you suggested."

"You know this isn't what I meant," Vanitas replies, matching Ven's expression.

They stay like that, in a stand off, for a long minute until one of the blinks. To Ven's surprise, it's Vanitas who give up.

"If you're going to do this at least actually listen to me during the fight. Listen to me when I tell you duck and I tell you to turn around." With a sigh, Vanitas looks Ven up and down and shakes his head. "You're a good fighter, Ven, but right now you're swaying on your feet. Let me help you."

A grin slowly replaced Ven's glare. "You want to help me?" Ven asked, grinning wider when Vanitas looks away in annoyance. " And was that a compliment thrown in there too?"

"I said you're good, not anything special," Vanitas says, the sharp edge to his tone coming back. "Deflate your head a few sizes."

Ven stares at him a moment longer and then says, "Alright. Just don't slow me down too much." He opens the 3rd district doors and walks in with Vanitas following, rolling his eyes.

…

"Shadow on your 6," Vanitas commands and Ven turns, slashing down before he even sees the small heartless. It's right where Vanitas had said it would be and it disappears into a heart floating up into the sky.

"Duck! Slash left!"

A fireball shoots over Ven's head and his slash hits a Soldier square in the chest. "Van?" He asks. He still hates not being able to keep track of the fight himself, but Vanitas' help is more than making up for it.

"Only the Nocturne left," Vanitas says. He points to the fireball shooting heartless, bobbing warily by itself in the corner by the fountain. "And don't call me that."

"What? Van?" Ven raises his keyblade with both hands. "Blizzara!"

The ice spell hits the Red Nocturne straight on as it readies for another fireball. It's heart joins the rest he's released from the other heartless.

Ven relaxes from his battle stance and makes his keyblade. He turns to Vanitas with a grin. "But I like 'Van'. Ven and Van. Van and Ven."

Vanitas scowls, but Ven is pretty sure it's just for show. "This must be working," Vanitas says. "You're getting loopy."

"Vani." Ven makes a face. "I don't like that one."

"I don't like any of them," Vanitas says. He makes a shooing motion for Ven to head to the doors out of the third district. "Come on, Dopey. More heartless are going to be along in a minute and, even with my expert assistance, you're not up for another round."

"You can't give me nicknames if I can't call you Van."

"Ven you -"

"That's Ventus, to you," Ven says, putting his hands on his hips.

"Fine. Ventus Dopey Wind-butt, would you move your ass out of here already?" Vanitas' scowl breaks and he smiles, making Ven smile wider.

"Nope," Ven says, shaking his head. His suppresses a laugh and his shoulder shake. "Van."

Ven all but skips away from Vanitas to the middle of the district and summons his keyblade again. They'd been at this for nearly two hours, but he feels rejuvenated, not more exhausted. Sure, he's a little light headed, but he's happy. For the first time in a long time, he isn't thinking about dark memories.

"You're going to pass out mid fight," Vanitas says. He's no longer smiling and Ven misses the way it had softened up his eyes.

Ven shrugs. "Passing out sounds good."

"Ven-"

A crash in front of the fountain made them both jump. A Guard Armor heartless - two stories tall and covered in thick purple armor - appears, looming over them. It's disconnected limbs flip in place like it is shaking itself out before a fight.

With his neck craned up, Ven steps forward, not giving much thought to where to start taking on this huge heartless alone. Vanitas swears under his breath and tries to grab Ven's arm.

"Ven. Run," he says, but Ven ignores him. "It will squash you before you can get a scratch on it."

"I'm a keyblade wielder," Ven says, falling into a battle stance. It is job to fight these dangerous heartless, and if he can't even do that, then what's the point? He isn't anyone without that.

Vanitas swears under his breath and says, "There are five other keyblade wielders in this town and a whole swarm of fighters all of whom are better than you at the moment."

"I can handle this," Ven says and there isn't time for any more arguing.

The Guard Armor lurches towards Ven, arms spinning around its torso at a dizzying speed. Ven ducks and runs under the heartless to stab its feet.

"It's going to stomp," Vanitas says, behind him.

Ven gets two more strikes in before the Guard Armor rises its huge foot.

"Ven," Vanitas says in warning, reaching for Ven like he can pull him out of the way.

Ven sees the raised foot, but the other foot is almost destroyed. It needs one more hit. With a pivoting move that pulls him away from Vanitas, he strikes the foot, making it disappear, at the same time the other foot stomps down.

The shock wave is small, but nearly knocks Ven off his feet. He hastily retreats from it to regroup what little strength he still has. He watches from the side of the square, waiting for the heartless to finish its tantrum.

"Now will you go?" Vanitas asks, coming up beside him.

Ven shakes his head. "I'm doing fine."

He targets an arm next. "Firaga," he shouts, aiming at the torso. The spell stuns the Guard Armor a moment, long enough for Ven to jump up and land a combo on the arm. He does it again with the same effect. "Blizzard!" The spell ends it and the arm disappears like its foot had.

Ven goes after the second arm, forgoing using a spell to stun it first. He doesn't see the twitch the Guard Armor gives in revving up. He hears Vanitas start to shout, "Watch its-", but it is too late.

The Guard Armor's remaining arm whips around its body and, mid leap, Ven is knocked out of the air.

He lands on his shoulder, dislocating it, and gasps at the pain that runs down his arm. It fades, though, as he rolls onto his back, and the numbness spreads through the rest of his body, lulling him into relaxed state. The darkness swims in the edge of his vision. He is finally going to sleep.

"Ven!"

Vanitas comes him to his vision, swaying like everything else, but in addition he is flickering. Going in and out the way Ven's fuzzy thoughts are. Vanitas' hands are on either side of his head. "Get up," he demands, but the harsh tone of his voice is replaced with a tinge of fear. "Ven, it'll crush us. You have to get up."

The shadow of the Guard Armor falls over him. It springs into the air, aiming to land it's one good foot right on top of Ven.

It'll flatten him, like the way Terra and Aqua had been trampled in the Pride Lands. He'll go limp the way Zack had died in Shibuya. Blood in the cracks between paving stones like Zack's blood had been when Namine, wearing Vanitas' mask, had killed him.

All at once, the pain in his dislocated arm is back. Van grabs his shoulder and rolls, missing being landed on by inches. The shockwave knocks him farther away and he sits up, holding his arm, in a panic. They aren't dead. He knows what he saw had been a trick of Namine's magic. But the memories of their bodies is all he ever sees when he closes his eyes.

The Guard Armor looms over him once more, readying itself for another attack. From somewhere across the district, he hears shouting, but his mind, moving so slow, can't put together what it is until he sees both Zack and Riku jump into the air to attack the heartless from behind.

It barely takes them two combos each to have the huge heartless falling apart and releasing its heart. And with it's heart fading into the sky, Zack and Riku's eyes fall on Ven who stands without meeting their gaze.

"Ven -" Zack says as the two of them hurry over.

"I'm fine," Ven replies. His shoulder most certainly is not, but he doesn't have the energy to cast a spell to heal. The pain also keeps him grounded. This Zack is the real Zack. Alive. His memories are playing tricks on him.

He tries to walk between them and avoid explaining himself, but Zack gets in front of him.

"What is wrong with you?" He demands and the angry light in his eyes makes the volatile feelings Ven has been suppressing boil past his breaking point. "What are doing out here by yourself?

"There's nothing wrong with me," Ven says, scowling. "It got a lucky hit. I had it all under control."

"Bullshit," Zack says, stepping closer to Ven. "That thing was about to kill you."

"I had it under control!" Ven shouts, leaning into Zack's face. He hates it, the strangling concern that Zack has for him. "I don't need you on me every second. I don't need your protection!"

"That's the biggest fucking lie, and you know it!" Zack shouts back.

"I hate to admit it, but he's a little right," Vanitas says from the side.

"Fuck off," Ven says through gritted teeth. Riku is suddenly in between him and Zack, a hand on both of their chests to push them back. Ven still tries to step forward. "Get out of my way," he says to Riku.

"You're a wreck, Ven." Zack jabbed a finger at him over Riku's shoulder. "And you're so stuck on hiding and not looking weak for even one second that you won't let anyone help. It's bullshit."

"Calm down, Zack," Riku says, shoving Zack back a step and dropping his hand from Ven. "Ven, what's Zack's trying to say is -"

"You all agree," Ven interrupts. "You all can only look at me in pity. Poor, crazy Ven. Out of his fucking mind. Did you ever think that I don't want your pity or your help?" He looks right at Zack who's hands are curled up in fists. In his eyes, it looks like he is about to cry. It hurts Ven to see that and he looks away. "I'm not useless," he says more to himself that the others.

"You're not, Ven," Riku says.

"You've never been useless," Vanitas whispers. Ven can feel his anger ebbing

Ven wipes the back of his hand across his eyes. "You're all acting like I am."

"That's not what we're trying to do," Zack says, coming closer again. "I'm terrified of losing you."

"He's always going to be terrified of that," Vanitas says. "He's never going to stop smothering you."

Ven swallows a lump in his throat and forces himself to look Zack in the eye. "I need some space," he says. Zack's mouth drops open. A spike of guilt goes through Ven that makes him turn away.

Riku stops him from running off, asking, "Can I fix your shoulder?"

Ven nods and Riku casts a healing spell that pops his shoulder back into place. He looks back at Zack, so pale, and for the first time he notices circles under Zack's eyes as well. "I'm sorry, Zack. I can't -" His throat gets too tight to talk, and with his eyes burning, he walks away, checking to make sure Vanitas is following.

* * *

 **Miracles really do come true, guys! I finally wrote this chapter.**

 **My excuses are the usual.**

 **I was in such a rush last time I posted, I didn't even realize that this story had reached 50 reviews. Party hats for everyone! Six party hats for** **LightzMusic22! Your review for chapter 16 was the 50th!**

Thank you Amestri, micaelaann. cruz, and Super Guest for your reviews last chapter. You are all wonderful!

 **To counteract the sad ending of this chapter, I've got news to share! After months and months of sending resumes I got an internship for the summer and I will be making BANK!**

 **Side Note: Adulting is terrifying. I highly recommend avoiding it at all costs.**

 **Coming up next chapter I've got more angst with a first kiss thrown in too.** _ **What couple is even left to have their first kiss?**_ **you ask and to that I say you will just have to wait and see ;)**


	19. Simple Words

Chapter 19 _Simple Words_

Sora wakes up to a door slamming down the hall. He rolls on his back to look at the plastic star constellations on the ceiling, thinking about the dream he'd been in the middle of. He's had the same dream a few times over the years. In it, he is hiding in a closet with Kairi and Riku, waiting for something. But the door never opens. He tries to do it himself, but he's always too short to reach the handle.

Downstairs, he can hear voices arguing. It sounds like Zack, but Zack is supposed to be on a shift with Riku. Sora glances at the other bed in the room to check if Riku is back too. He's not and the clock beside Riku's bed says it's just after 8. Their shift has barely started.

Sora rolls out of bed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, and heads downstairs. He stops on the bottom step, looking across the kitchen to Zack and Tifa. "I'm not going to-" Zack is saying, but stops, seeing Sora. Sora realizes that there are tear tracks down his cheeks before Zack turns his back to him.

"What's going on?" He asks, looking to Tifa.

She glances at Zack and then crosses the kitchen to say quietly to Sora, "Can you go join Riku on his shift?"

"Yeah." He swallows the questions he has and nods. "I can do that."

Tifa mouths, "Thank you," and goes back over to Zack.

Sora runs back upstairs to get ready. He can hear creaking floorboards in Ven's room. The sound is rhythmic and he guesses Ven's pacing. There is also murmuring, like Ven is talking to himself. Sora hesitates in the doorway of his bedroom, wondering why if Zack's upset he's talking to Tifa instead of Ven. His heart sinks and he gets ready quickly, hoping Riku can tell him what happened during the shift.

…

"So it was really bad?" Sora asks Riku. Ven's encounter with the Guard Armor and Zack's reaction is the only thing they've talked about the whole shift. "Are they broken up now?"

"I don't know," Riku replies. "Maybe when they both calm down they can talk it out."

They walk along the length of the second district without haste. The shift is minutes away from ending and with the amount of heartless they've already vanquished, neither is expecting to come across anymore.

"Why was Ven out so early anyways?" Sora asks.

Riku flicks his bangs out of his eyes and shrugs.

Sora waits for him to say something, but when Riku doesn't he forces the conversation on. "He's been acting so strange. Not even Zack knows why. That's what's killing him, I think."

"Yeah."

Ven's been spending almost all his time in his room since getting back except the times he's gone out to fight heartless which has yet to end well. But Ven isn't the only one who's been aloof lately. Riku has been quiet most of the times he is with Sora since coming back from Castle Oblivion. He'd thought it might just be the way Kairi and him started hanging out without Riku, but maybe it is something more. It has taken him a few days with everything else that has been going on to remember what had happened during the fight with Larxene. The darkness Riku had used.

They climb the steps by the fountain and Riku claps a hand on Sora's shoulder. "I'm meeting Marlene for lunch so I'll you later," he says, turning away from the doors back to the first district.

"Wait a second, Riku." Sora stops him without knowing what he wants to say. Riku waits with a questioning look and Sora forces himself to say something. "I've been meaning to ask you...but with everything that's been going on, and Master Amiddon's plan with the Organization, there hasn't been a good time. And I'm not really sure how to bring it up. I don't want you thinking that I think that you-"

"Sora." Riku interrupts. "You're rambling."

"Right. Sorry." Sora wishes now he had never opened his mouth. He doesn't want to be the one to bring it up. He wants Riku to talk to him, but Riku won't. "I just don't know how to say…I saw what you did in Castle Oblivion. The-," he lowers his voice, "-darkness."

There is something like panic in Riku's eyes, but he turns away quickly. "You saw it," he says, a note of anger in his voice. "And now you're worried what I'll do next."

Sora steps forward. That's not what he meant. "No-"

"It was a shield," Riku says. He rounds on Sora, his muscles tense and his eyes hidden in his bangs. "I was protecting myself. Protecting Kairi. I didn't mean to do it."

"Then why are you so defensive about it?" Sora asks. He tries to keep his tone reasonable, but Riku's voice rises.

"Why are you interrogating me?"

"I'm not," Sora insists. "But you haven't said anything about it and I thought you might feel better if you talked to us about it." He can see it. Riku is scared.

"So everyone can keep their eye out for more darkness? I've got it handled myself." Riku goes to stomp off, but Sora can't let it end there. This wasn't supposed to be a fight.

"I'm not worried about what you'll do next," he says. "I know you. It was only a little bit of darkness."

Riku's hands clench, and Sora can tell he hasn't made a difference. "I'm a keyblade wielder, Sora. The good ones aren't supposed to have any darkness."

Riku disappears into the hotel and leaves Sora standing there, wondering if he only made it worse.

...

"I should go talk to him."

"He needs his space."

"You should go talk to him."

"Tifa-"

Sora walks into the kitchen of the bar, interrupting Cloud and Tifa. They both look up with a hope that fades quickly. "Oh, Sora. We thought you were Zack," Tifa says. She looks behind Sora expectantly. "Where's Riku?"

"Out with Marlene or something," Sora mumbles. He'd rather not talk about it. The air around all his friends is so tense today.

"Sora." Kairi runs comes down the stairs, dressed for her shift she's already a few minutes late for. She gives Sora a quick kiss while reaching around him for a bagel on the table. There is a lot of food on the table, Sora realizes, and Tifa is piling most of it on two trays.

"Good morning," Sora says to Kair, giving her a smile without his usual enthusiasm. He hopes she won't notice, but of course she does.

"Something wrong?" She asks and Sora hesitates.

"I'll tell you later," Sora replies, but he won't. It's Riku's secret, not his to share. "Aren't you running late?"

"Yes, we are," Cloud says, taking his sword from where it's resting against the counter. "Anything to report first, Sora?"

Sora shakes his head. "It's been quiet. Most of the darkness around must have gone into the Guard Armor earlier." Just saying the word, darkness, makes his expression fall even more.

Cloud nods and gestures for Kairi to head out. She kisses Sora on his cheek before hurrying out of the kitchen. Cloud follows, stopping in the doorway to look back at Tifa.

"Give him space," he says and Tifa waves him off.

"We both know that's not going to happen."

With them gone, Sora starts to go up the stairs, intending on taking a long shower to think, but Tifa stops him. "Sora," she says, picking up one of the trays. "Can you take this up to Ven for me? I don't think he's eaten since yesterday."

Enough food is piled on the tray to keep Ven fed a week. Sora takes it from Tifa, staggering under it's weight, and she picks up the second one, heading to the closed door of Zack's bedroom. Sora walks to the stairs, then pauses, and walks back. He checks to make sure Tifa is gone and sneaks into the freezer to grab one last thing.

…

Hayner has no clue he's not alone on the island. None of his friends come to the Play Island much anymore, but it is still his favorite spot to think. He sighs and lays back along the length of the Paopu tree, staring up at the leaves and fruit hanging just out of reach. The story of the Paopu fruit comes to mind and he blushes, shifting to stare moodily out to sea.

Fuck Seifer.

Hayner imagines Olette's grin and her saying her favorite joke, 'Fuck Seifer or _fuck_ Seifer.'

He groans and drags his hands over his face. He came to the Play Island to get away from her nosing into his feelings for Seifer. "I hate him," he says aloud to convince himself. "I hate him. I hate him. I hate him…"

Hayber sighs again and rubs his right wrist, still tender from his fall. He'd been fighting one measly little Shadow heartless to show off to Pence. He didn't have a real sword, like Seifer, but Shadows are weak enough that a struggle bat can be enough if you know what you're doing. Which of course, Hayner did.

The problem came once the Shadow was taken care of. It's death seemed to draw it's friends and all at once he and Pence were surrounded. Hayner felt so stupid holding that toy sword in the face of the three creeper plants. He and Pence were in a corner, he'd pushed them both into.

And, to add insult to injury as fate tended to do, Seifer came to the rescue. Like some fucking knight in shining armor. Hayner had fallen flat on his face over a root before he'd gotten even one hit on the heartless. Seifer stood above him, his gorgeous blue eyes so intense and downright scary. He wasn't wearing his long white jacket. Just his vest like shirt, exposing his midriff, showing off the bottom on his abs…

"That fucker," Hayner whispers. It is easiest to blame Seifer for the way his cheeks warmed up remembering that.

And then, because fate was truly out make the biggest cosmic joke out of his life, a boat came onto the horizon, rowed by that fucker himself.

"You've got to be kidding me," Hayner says, with a groan. He rolls of the Paopu tree trunk and stomps across the bridge and down through the shack. "I hate him. I hate him. I hate him," he reminds himself as he goes.

Seifer docks his boat alongside the one Hayner had rowed here, and comes down the dock steps to meet Hayner who is striding across the sand. "Hey, chicken wuss," Seifer says. "You ran off before-"

"What are you doing here?" Hayner demands, interrupting. He keeps his gaze firmly on Seifer's face and nothing lower.

Seifer rolls his eyes at him. "As I was saying, you ran off to come sulk here before I could check that you were alright."

"Why do you care?" Hayner crosses his arms and hunches his shoulders. That's not what he expected Seifer to say and he narrows his eyes, trying to figure out what trick the blond is playing.

"I don't, chicken wuss," Seifer says, mirroring Hayner's stance. "I mean, Hayner," he adds and Hayner's eyebrows shoot up. "I came to tell you - I came to tell you to keep away from the heartless. It isn't a game you play with toy swords."

Hayner how close the two of them are getting until he is tilting his head up to keep looking Seifer in the eye. Not looking at anything lower. "I can take care of myself, you know," he says, feeling like he is vibrating. It's the power of his hatred making him shake, not the butterflies in his stomach. Definitely not that.

"I'll remember that next time I see you face plant in the middle of a fight," Seifer snipes back and Hayner scowls.

"Yeah? Well you…" Hayner struggles to find an insult. Unfortunately Seifer is a top notch fighter. And he never looks bad doing it. "Why do you even care?" Hayner demands again.

Seifer doesn't give an answer; he chews on his bottom lip in a way that throws Hayner off again. He finds himself unable to say anything, staring at Seifer's lips, wishing he'd say something asshole-y so he can remind himself why he hates him.

They really are very close.

He can feel the breath that Seifer exhales. "I like you, Hayner," Seifer says quietly. If they hadn't been standing so close, Hayner wouldn't have heard him.

It's like the Struggle Tournament all over again. Seifer close but not quite touching. Whispering things that made Hayner's mind come to a grinding halt. He couldn't let Seifer get under his skin like that again. "I don't know what you're trying to pull, but-"

Seifer head dips down and kisses him, sucking all the air from Hayner's lungs and taking the bones out of his legs. He should hold onto Seifer to keep himself standing, he should kiss him back, do something more than stand there numb, but the fireworks in his mind scares him and he pulls back.

Seifer leans after him, but then his eyes open and he stares, hiding his hurt expression quickly. "I...look I just thought…," Seifer tugs at his hat, pulling it over the blush redness on his forehead. "You know what, it doesn't matter. See you around, chicken wuss."

Seifer turns leaving Hayner feeling like he's swaying. Or vibrating. Or being hit with the repercussions of those fireworks. His brain is still numb, but like an instinct he reaches out and grabs the back of Seifer's shirt, spinning him around. Seifer tries to snarl something at him, his lips parting, and Hayner pulls him down to his level. Their lips crash together in a way that hurts a little, but it makes Hayner gasp into the kiss and suddenly they are making out.

Hayner is again the one to break away, this time because he needs to breathe. Seifer is breathing just as hard, his eyes dark in a way that Hayner realizes is lust. He guesses he has a similar look and he slips out of their tangled arms, running a hand to smooth out the hair that Seifer's hands had messed up. "I've been trying to hate you," he says. He can't stop the babble coming out of his mouth. "You're an ass, I know that, and I try to be a bigger one. And I like it when we fight and you tell me I'm stupid and I tell you you're an ass. But I like it more when we don't."

"Hayner-"

"And-and-and you walk around with this swagger that's so fucking…" Hayner gestures in a non-sensical way to describe it. "You glare at everyone. I saw you glare at a baby once. But you do so much to protect the town and keep me from getting myself killed and I-" Hayner pauses for a breath and let's his eyes drop. "I mean really." His hands go back to his hair. "Do you even own any shirts that cover your stomach?"

"Hayner," Seifer says, giving him a sly smile that Hayner finds even more attractive than his glare.

"Yeah?"

"Shut up."

And Seifer kisses him again like it's his goal to steal every breath of air from Hayner's lungs.

…

"Spying on the lovebirds, huh?"

Roxas jumps from his slouched position over the railing of the balcony by the treehouse and spins to see Axel awake from his siesta, peering down at the beach too.

Looking back at the two boys on the beach, Roxas sees they're back to pressing their faces together. Pressing their lips together seems to be their goal, but their noses are getting squished too. "What are they doing?" he asks Axel, who tenses at the question.

"Kissing," Axel replies in a guarded voice.

"Why?" Roxas feels stupid asking, a feeling he is used to by now, but he's curious about everything.

"Why? Uh…" Axel scratches his head like he doesn't know either. "Because they like each other, I guess."

Roxas frowns, not understanding. "They like each other?" He can tell from Axel's expression that's supposed to be all the explanation he needs. He's gotten good at knowing what Axel's expressions mean.

Axel steps away from the balcony, waving his hands as he talks. "Yeah, you know, _like like_. Like love."

Roxas tilts his head in confusion. "What?"

"L-O-V-E," Axel says, spelling it out. "Love."

"What's that?"

"You don't -" Axel looks away. A glimpse of his expression tells Roxas he is angry, but Roxas doesn't know why. Sometimes his endless questions annoy Axel, but he hadn't asked that many this time. Axel shakes his head, still not looking at Roxas. "Of course you don't know," he says like he is talking to himself.

"No, I don't," Roxas says. "What is it?" He doesn't know what's wrong with the question, but it makes Axel summon a dark corridor. "Where are you going?" Roxas asks. Axel has a new expression. He doesn't know what it is, but he doesn't like it. Axel always answers his question, even when he's annoyed.

"To the Main Island," Axel says in a short voice and disappears before Roxas can say anything more.

Roxas returns to staring down at the two strangers, locking mouths together more ferociously than before. He got from Axel's reaction that not knowing what kissing is or the other word, love, is a big deal. He watches the two down below, trying to understand, but, like everything else important, it was frustratingly out of his grasp.

He stays there until the two on the beach start putting their hands under each other's clothes. It makes his cheeks hot to see them do that, and he retreats inside the treehouse to try and put it all together like a puzzle with only half the pieces.

...

Ven sits on the floor with his back against the side of the bed. It's the farthest back corner from the door so anyone coming in wouldn't see him right away. Vanitas lies on his back on the windowseat, his feet up on the wall by the window. He keeps dragging the soles of his shoes over it, like he's trying to leave marks. He can't though. He's an illusion, an imagination, something not quite there and it makes Ven chuckle, though it's not funny. The most steady and unshakable thing in his life right now is not really there.

"What's so funny?" Vanitas tips his head back so he's glaring at Ven upside down. "You going loopy? I can start calling you Dopey again."

"No," Ven says. He loses his train of thought for a moment. With his head hanging off the side of the seat like that, all the blood should be rushing to Vanitas face. Ven stares, waiting for Vanitas' face to turn red, but it never does. Ven keeps waiting though.

Vanitas hands waving in his face makes Ven blink. "Your new dwarf name is going to be Spacey," Vanitas says and twists himself into a better sitting position. He stretches with a groan. "I'd call you Sleepy, but, you know…"

Ven cracks a smile at that. "I never knew the dwarfs have such interesting names," he says. He'd never met them, only heard Snow White speaking of her friends when he was trying to save her in the woods. "When did you meet the dwarfs?" Ven asks Vanitas. "Was it after you saved me in the woods?"

Vanitas gives him a suspicious look. "What are you talking about? What woods?"

"The woods with the trees that came alive," Ven says Vanitas cocks his head still confused, but he has to remember. Trees like that and the suffocating feeling of their branches isn't something people forget. "Don't play dumb," Ven says, a little annoyed. "I know now it was you in the shadows that burned the tree holding me. You said -"

"I said you're friends were waiting for you if you could make it," Vanitas says. He's still giving Ven that odd look.

"Yeah, you do remember." Ven lets his head fall back against the bed and stares up at the ceiling. "And after that, I went off with Mickey, I think. Did you meet the dwarfs at the cottage Snow White was talking about?"

"Ven," Vanitas says slowly. He doesn't have the usual sharp edge to his tone. "You're getting confused. The forest I saved you in was in Castle Oblivion. It was one of Namine's illusions. Mickey and Snow White weren't there."

Ven lifts his head back up. "Oh," he says. Vanitas doesn't have a reason to lie, but that's not what he remembers. "I knew that."

Vanitas opens his mouth to say something more, but a knock at the door interrupts him. Without giving Ven the time to respond, the door opens and Sora staggers in under the weight of overflowing tray of food. "Ven?" he asks, not able to see around the tray enough to figure out where Ven is.

"Over here," Ven says from his corner and Sora puts the tray down on the desk so he can look at Ven properly.

At first glance, Ven knows Sora knows what happened. It's all over his face, even if Sora doesn't know it himself. The pity, the curiosity. "I'm not going to talk about Zack," Ven says to keep him from even asking.

Sora looks a little put out by that, but he hides it well and gestures to the food. "Tifa asked me to bring you lunch."

"And dinner and meals for the next day too it looks like," Vanitas says.

"I'm not hungry," Ven says and shifts away from Sora, hoping he'll take the hint and leave.

Sora doesn't though. Ven hears him pull something from the tray, dishes clinking, and Sora walks over to him. "I remember a different time you hid in your room a long time," Sora says. He sits down across from Ven holding out a bowl to him. "And when you felt better, we had ice cream."

Ven takes the bowl of chocolate ice cream and Vanitas leans over Sora's shoulder. "You hungry again, Ven?" He asks.

Ven can't answer with Sora in the room, but he takes a spoonful and savors the taste. Sora grins and digs in too, his face stuffed when Ven says, "I can't believe you remember that. You were just a kid."

"I don't know why, but I remember it really vividly," Sora says with some difficulty. "For a long time I thought it was just something I'd made up, but I told Riku about it and he remembers too." Sora takes another bite and swallows before adding, "I remember you telling us an old bully came back to hurt you again. And Riku gave you a picture we drew."

So much about that night Ven wants to forget, but not all of it. He smiles sadly. "I wish I still had that picture. I liked it alot. All of us together. One big, happy family." Ven stirs his ice cream around the bowl. He missed them so much it hurt. All he wanted was to go back and have it all the way it used to be. Aqua, Terra, and Master Eraqus always there for him. Sora, Riku, and Kairi only kids and not the mini adults they are now. They'd grown up too fast. Ven had grown up in the blink of an eye.

"Do you think it would still be there if we transformed Castle Oblivion back?" Sora asks. He leans against the wall, right beside Vanitas' legs, and Vanitas moves over on the windowseat, pulling a face. "The picture, I mean," Sora says and Ven's attention snaps back to him.

"I don't know," he replies. The thought of Castle Oblivion being a perverted version of his old home hurt him more that he cared to admit. "But I'm not sure I want MEKA back if Terra, Aqua, and Master Eraqus aren't back too."

"Yeah." Sora scrapes his spoon along the bottom of his bowl. He swirls the melted remnants of his ice cream and bites his lip. "I'm not supposed to tell you this," he says slowly. Hearing that makes Ven's temper flare on principle. "But we think that Organization XIII might know what happened to them."

"Really?"

"And they didn't fucking tell you?" Vanitas says, equally angry.

Ven scowls and sets his bowl down. Of course they didn't want to tell him something like that. Not in his fragile state or whatever rationale they used to make them think it's okay to keep him out of the loop. Even when it is about his best friends. "Who's we?" Ven says, managing to keep his anger out of his voice. He refuses to ask more specifically that what he really cares about is if Zack knew.

"It was Mickey's idea first," Sora replies. He plays with the melted ice cream in his bowl in a nervous way. Either he can tell Ven's angry or it's the secret he is spilling that's making him fidget. "He thought the Organization starting in the same world Aqua and Xehanort disappeared in couldn't be a coincidence. He looked into them and met Master Amiddon and Ryla doing the same."

Ven manages to set aside his annoyance and focus on the information. He hadn't gotten to know Master Amiddon or Ryla hardly at all, but Amiddon's a Keyblade Master and he trusts her to know what she's talking about. "Do they agree that Organization XIII knows what happened to the others?"

"No one knows for sure," Sora says. "But it's our best lead."

"A bunch of black coats. A great lead," Vanitas mutters.

The mention of them makes Ven shiver. Not so much the black coats, but Namine. He'd be perfectly happy to never have to face her again. For a moment, he's relieved they didn't tell him since it meant he wouldn't have to go join the fight. But it was a fight to save Terra, Aqua, and Master Eraqus. The shame that he's scared to take on any obstacle to find them makes him sick.

He covers his face with his hands and rubs his eyes. The others are right. He is useless.

"I should be the best lead," Ven says into his hands and he feels Sora shift to sit next to him. He drops his hands, but doesn't look in his direction. "How can I remember eating ice cream with you and Riku, and every other good memory, and not remember the things that are important?"

"It's not your fault, Ven," Vanitas says.

"What do you mean?" Sora asks.

"Like…" Ven takes a deep breath to collect his thoughts and keep his voice from shaking. No wonder they treat him like glass. "The reason I was upset that night was because I had followed Terra, Aqua, and Master Eraqus to Carinol and got caught by Keric who-"

"Was a piss-poor wank hand of a pig fucker?" Vanitas offers

"-was someone bad from my past," Ven says, not even able to crack a smile at Vanitas choice of words. "I remember going there, I remember being in his room, I remember his hands and his breath, but I don't remember getting away," he explains to Sora and he can tells from Sora's expression he'd never been told what happened in Carinol that day. It's strangely comforting. In that way, Sora is still a kid, calling Keric a bully, unaware of the true evil he'd been. Ven clears his throat and continues, saying, "I know I escaped. How else could we have had ice cream that night? But I don't remember getting away. And when I think about, despite knowing better, I panic, thinking that I never got away." He sighs. "What if I know something helpful about what happened to the others, and I just can't remember it?"

"It's okay, Ven," Sora says. "We'll find them."

"You mean you'll find them without me."

"Ven-"

"It's okay," Ven forces himself to say. "I'm not much help right now like this." He gestures to himself and to the bags under his eyes. "I know how I've been acting."

Sora's chews on his lip. "Are you still having trouble sleeping?"

Vanitas laughs. "That's an understatement."

"I'm fine," Ven says. Sora opens his mouth, but Ven doesn't want to have this conversation right now. "Thanks for the ice cream," he says pointedly. "But I'm not that hungry. You can take the food back downstairs."

Sora stands, but hesitates. "Why don't I just leave it here?" he says. "If I bring it back down, Tifa will probably march it right back up."

"You should eat something," Vanitas says and Ven decides not to argue.

Sora moves to the door, but hesitates. Ven can tell he wants to stay, that he can sense all the things wrong with Ven even if he can't put his finger on it. "I'll come down for dinner later," Ven promises to get him to leave. "I'm going to take a nap," he says, knowing it's a lie.

It gets Sora out the door and when it shuts behind him, Ven leans his head back enjoying the silence until Vanitas breaks it, saying, "I can tell you how you got away." It's enough to get Ven to lift his head back up and look at Vanitas. "I took over and knocked him out in his bedroom. You freed your friends and they beat the ever living shit out of him for you." He slides off the window seat onto the floor across from Ven.

That's not what Ven remembers. "But I stabbed him in the side. I remember his blood on my keyblade. I thought -" Ven stops and thinks harder about what he is saying. The blood dripping off his keyblade, staining the white floor. "That was in Castle Oblivion, wasn't it?"

"Yeah," is all Vanitas says. He has the expression everyone is giving Ven lately. Pity.

"Stop looking at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Pity." Ven scowls at him. "If you start pitying me, you're no better than everyone else."

"I don't pity you," Vanitas says, his voice is sharp too. "You don't have it bad enough for that. But I'm starting to think this is more than a few sleepless nights. Something else is wrong with you."

Ven feels the last strings holding him together break. He should have known all along that Vanitas would give up on him. Labeling him crazy like all the rest. He'd been stupid thinking Vanitas could really help him. Or really cared at all. "You can't do that to me too," Ven says, his voice low. "You're supposed to be on my side."

Vanitas face goes blank in a way that's worse than his pitying stare. "I am on your side. I'm doing more than those losers you call friends are doing to help you."

"Yeah? And that still isn't much is it?" Knowing his anger is misplaced, but not caring, Ven stands and ends up kicking over the forgotten ice cream bowl beside him. "Shit."

Vanitas jumps to his feet, getting in Ven's way of searching for something to clean up the mess with. "You can't help because look at you," Ven says. He makes to shove Vanitas away but his hand hits empty air. "You're not even real."

"And whose fault is that?" Vanitas demands.

"Well it's not mine!" Ven barely keeps his voice down. He doesn't need Sora or anyone else running back up here to find him having a shouting match with his empty room. "I didn't ask to have a split heart. In fact, it's kind of ruined my life if you haven't noticed."

" _I_ ruined _your_ life?" Vanitas can yell as loud as he wants and he takes full advantage of that. "You going to throw your own pity party now? My life was your life until we split. And then when I come back - after you _beg_ me to stay with you - I find out you filled in where I used to be and I can do nothing but hang off the side like a parasite."

Vanitas leans closer with every word, but Ven doesn't back down. "You're not making any sense."

"Sora," Vanitas says, acting like it's a curse. "That stupid fucking kid and his blinding sun of a heart. He filled you in when your heart broke."

"Don't talk about him like that," Ven snaps. He can't believe out of all people it is Sora Vanitas hates. "He saved us both if you don't remember. And I would have died if didn't heal my heart."

"I didn't," Vanitas says and pokes a finger at Ven's chest. Ven feels nothing it only makes them both angrier. "We both had half a heart and I didn't lights are just so weak."

"You were dying!" Ven shouts and forces his voice back down to an angry whisper. "You were fucking dying when you came after me in this town and you did everything to get back in my heart."

"Our heart." Vanitas' voice as dark as his expression. "And I couldn't get back in, could I? At least not fully. That's why you see me out here instead of inside, side by side, with you like I used to be. Tell me in your broken mind that you at least remember that?" Despite his anger, Vanitas' voice cracks and he steps back from Ven, returning to his seat in front of the window.

"That's -" Ven's chest heaves from the argument, but his temper is falling as fast as it had risen. "That's why I can see you now? You're not in my heart?"

Vanitas pulls his knees up to his chest and stares out the window. "I'm hanging off the edge," he say. He ducks his head and pulls at the roots of his hair. "And yeah, it's as hard as it sounds some days to stay like that."

Ven inches towards him, but then steps back. "I didn't know."

"Well, now you do," Vanitas says. Gold eyes stare at Ven from the shadow cast by Vanitas' arms.

Ven touches the spot over his heart, his brow furrowed. "But I feel whole. I didn't before we joined back together." It feels natural to speak his thoughts out loud to Vanitas, but he wishes he'd kept that one unsaid.

Vanitas' glare is like ice and it freezes the blood in Ven's veins. "I'm so glad I could be of service to you," he says, his sarcasm biting. "It's what I'm here for."

"I'm sorry, Van," Ven says quietly.

"You want some more help? I have a new idea." Vanitas doesn't act like he heard Ven at all. "Go bang your head on that desk until you get that nap you need." He turns away from Ven again and stares out the window, sulking.

With a heavy sigh, Ven picks up the spilled ice cream bowl and sets it back on the food tray. Taking the napkin Tifa had included, he mops up the melted ice cream as best he can. He flops onto his bed once that is done and steals glances at Vanitas.

"Neither of us has gotten much of choice in life." Ven waits for Vanitas to say something, but when he doesn't, Ven continues. "We're X-blade wielders and our fate is harder than most-"

"Will you shut up?" Vanitas' fists are curled like he would hit Ven if he could. "You can't honestly believe that pile of horse shit that just came out of your mouth," he says. "You're only saying that because you don't like the consequences of the choices you've made, idiot. You choose and you choose selfishly and other people get the short end of the stick for it. Don't call it fate to make yourself feel less guilty."

Ven reels back at that. Of course Vanitas knew that dark fear hidden in his heart. His friends, Zack, all their suffering is his fault. Ven swallows and whispers, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes, you do."

Vanitas' eyes bore into Ven and Ven rolls to his other side to get away. "I'm going to sleep."

"Now we believe in miracles too?" Vanitas says under his breath and Ven decides he wouldn't mind if Vanitas' parasitic grip on his heart slipped a bit.

Ven doesn't move for hours, but his eyes stay open, watching the shadows creep across the floor with the setting sun. When Kairi comes up to call him to dinner, he fakes being asleep. He ignores her soft calls for him to wake up until she gives up and leaves him alone to wonder if they would all really be better off if he never came out of his room.

* * *

 **LightzMusic22:** **I'M SORRY FOR BREAKING UP ZACTUS BUT ANGST IS SO MUCH FUN!**

 **micaelaann. Cruz:** **I live for giving my characters a hard time….it's a slightly concerning pastime...**

 **RoseShine 76:** **ooh yay! Zactus story! Tell me when you write. I'll definitely be checking it out!**

 **Amestri:** **well not this chapter but hold onto that hope for Ven and Zack going into the next chapter… ;)**

 **SURPRISE! Betcha didn't think I'd be posting another chapter for like a month or two! This chapter ended up having a bunch in it I wasn't planning and man it's long but here it is in all its angsty glory.**

 **DOUBLE SURPRISE! The first kiss I hinted at last chapter was between Hayner and Seifer!**

 **If I had to describe the next chapter in a way to keep you all hooked, I'd tell you for it's going to be the lowest point for two of our favorite characters and they might wake up the next morning with a few regrets...**

 **Sound good? ;) See ya next time!**


	20. Drown Your Sorrows

Chapter 20 _Drown Your Sorrows_

In the silence that has filled the room since Vanitas decided he was done talking to Ven, Ven can hear the other noises in the house and he pieces together what everyone is doing. Sora and Kairi spend the evening in Kairi's room - door open as per Tifa's new rules since the two of them started dating. Ven can hear them talking enough to know they're having a serious conversation - Sora doesn't laugh once - but he can't make out what they're saying and he doesn't have the energy to drag himself out of bed to find out. Downstairs, the bar is noisy. The smell of Tifa's cooking wafts up.

Sora and Kairi go to bed around midnight. Sora is the only one moving around in his room and Ven guesses Riku is working in the bar. The bar doesn't close until after 2 AM and not long after, Tifa and Cloud shuffle up the stairs to go to bed.

Ven wishes it didn't bother him that he can tell where everyone is except Zack.

The clock beside his bed reaches 3 AM and he rolls onto his feet, stretching. Risking a glance at the window seat, he catches Vanitas' yellow eyes watching him. Neither of them say anything and, not caring if his other half follows, Ven slips out of his room for a much need walk to clear his head. His room is starting to feel like a prison, even though he knows it's self-imposed.

Barefoot, Ven makes no noise going downstairs. He heads for the door, thinking maybe he'll go fight heartless without Vanitas' worried, backseat driving. It had almost worked the last time. But he stops, surprised, seeing a figure slumped over the bar with three empty beer bottles next to them.

"Riku?" Ven asks. He realizes he didn't hear Riku go to bed.

Startled, Riku jerks his head up from his arms that had been acting as a pillow. He knocks one of the bottles over and catches it with a clumsy movement before it rolls off the bar. "Wha- Ven?" He squints in the low light of the room. "You're out of your room."

"Make this man a detective," Vanitas mutters from somewhere behind Ven.

"What are you doing, Riku?" Ven asks. The beer bottles give him an explanation though. Riku follows his gaze, his expression turning sheepish. "Did Tifa say you could have those?"

Ven leans against the bar next to Riku's stool and watches him swallow. Riku doesn't answer. He ducks his head instead, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms. "Do you only come out of your room at night?" Riku asks.

Riku turns unfocused eyes on Ven who sighs. He doesn't answer Riku's question and instead asks one of his own. "Why are you drinking, Riku?" No one drinking alone at 3AM is doing it because it's fun.

The shelving of the bar has mirrors behind the liquor bottles and Riku looks into his reflection. "It's bad," he says. Staring at himself makes his expression more upset and he drops his head back into his arms. "I stole it."

Vanitas takes a stool at the end of the bar. "Lightweight."

Ven glances at the mirror to see only he and Riku's bent head reflected. He shouldn't be surprised Vanitas doesn't appear, but it is a harsh reminder that his other half isn't really there.

Vanitas follows Ven's gaze to the mirror. "It's like I'm a vampire," he says, touching his face. He looks to Ven for a response, but Ven quickly looks away.

"Why, Riku?" Ven asks, touching Riku's shoulder.

Riku turns his head to look at Ven. "I wanted to stop thinking. About it."

"About what?"

Whatever it is, it makes Riku's eyes get wetter and he buries his face back in his arms. With a quiet sigh, Ven rubs circles on Riku's back. He'd seen all sorts of drunks living in Carinol, but Riku doesn't seem like a sad drunk, moping on about a normal day. Something is really upsetting him. Maybe Ven would know if he hadn't been so focused on his own misery. He's not living up to the big brother he used to be to the three younger keyblade wielders. "You can tell me, Riku," he says, pressing on his shoulder enough to get him to sit up again.

Riku drags a hand under his nose with a loud sniff. "The darkness is terrible. It's ugly," he says. Ven glances at Vanitas, for a second thinking Riku knows.

"What are you looking at me for?" Vanitas asks. "We got the same face."

"You had a beard when we found you," Riku says, bringing Ven's attention back to him. "You didn't like beard having."

Ven self consciously touches his face. "Uh, no. I shaved it. But what were you saying about the darkness?"

"I'm sorry, Ven," Riku says, slurring his words more than before. He's swaying more too.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for," Ven says. "You can tell me what's bothering you."

"You had a beard."

Vanitas picked at the grain of the bar surface. "He's like a broken record."

Riku starts to slip off his stool and Ven grabs him by the shoulder. "It's time for you to go to bed," he says and helps Riku stand. "We can talk more in the morning."

Riku sags against Ven, his head falling tiredly on Ven's shoulder. "We didn't save you from having a beard."

Ven can feel Vanitas eyes on him, gauging his hesitation."You saved me," Ven says. He has to accept the time that he missed. There isn't anything that can be done about it. "You don't have to be sorry for anything."

"You should come out of your room more," Riku says, leaning almost all his weight on Ven. "When you don't, it's like you're gone again." The small, tired way Riku says it, makes Ven blink more than normal.

"I'll try," he says, swallowing the lump in his throat. "Okay? You really should go to bed now."

"Okay. 'm tired."

With Ven doing most of the work, the two of them make it upstairs. Ven opens Riku and Sora's bedroom door and sees Sora, snoring and undisturbed by the quiet noise. Riku slips out from Ven's arm and collapses into his own bed, joining Sora in snoring the second his head hits his pillow.

Ven gently takes Riku's shoes off and finds a blanket at the end of the bed to put over him. Leaving their room, Ven runs a hand over his cheeks. His stubble is rough and he knows he needs to get used to shaving every few days. If they were still alive, would it have been Master Eraqus or Terra who taught him to shave?

If they were still alive.

Ven can feel his thoughts betraying him. They are alive. He can't give up hope of that. Not now.

Shutting the door, Ven goes back downstairs to find Vanitas standing next to the radio behind the bar. "Do you know what happened to Terra and Master Eraqus?" Ven asks, keeping his voice low.

"I would have told you if I did." Vanitas tries to punch the radio's power button, but his finger goes right through. He scowls and swipes at the little machine which doesn't make it do anything either. "All I know is Xehanort went after them while I went after you," Vanitas says, turning to Ven. "Can you turn this piece of shit on?"

Ven does it for him and Vanitas grunts his thanks. Leaning against the back counter, Vanitas closes his eyes and tips his head back like he's listening carefully to the music, but Ven doesn't know the songs. After two or three songs in silence, he says, "Tell me about the Pride Lands."

Vanitas cracks one eye open to look at him. "I don't know anything about the Pride Lands. Never been."

"I'm not asking for your opinion on the local weather," Ven snaps, making Vanitas expression angry. "Can't you tell me what I saw in Castle Oblivion isn't what really happened?"

"You mean you're friends dying."

Ven doesn't trust himself to speak and answers with a nod.

Vanitas takes a long time to answer. The silence doesn't make Ven feel better. "I wasn't there to know for sure what happened," Vanitas finally says, "but they didn't die in the stampede. They were around when Xehanort attacked. Aqua was with us at the Keyblade Graveyard."

"Then why weren't they in Halloween Town?" Ven asks, remembering the horde of heartless pushing him off the hill top. "Why would they abandon me there?"

Vanitas tries to hide an eye roll, but Ven catches it. "I'm sure that was only another lie from Namine," Vanitas says.

"How sure?" Ven asks. He needs Vanitas to tell him what is true and what is fake, black and white, because Ven isn't sure about anything anymore.

Vanitas exhales a deep sigh. "I don't know, Ven."

"You're supposed to know."

"Where do you get off putting this all on me?" Vanitas demands.

Ven shrugs, and wraps his arms around himself. He doesn't mean to be unreasonable. He just wants to be told that everything is okay because he can't lie to himself anymore. He's too tired.

Vanitas sighs. "I wish I could help you, Ven. I really do. But look at me." He tries to change the radio station, but his fingers go through the button again. "I can't do anything."

Ven reaches over and does it for him. Looking over Vanitas shoulder at the mirror, Ven sees only himself.

 **[Falling to Pieces by Junior Doctor]**

 _It feels like they're coming at me, from all sides_

 _It feels like I've got nowhere to run, nowhere to hide_

 _It feels like I'm never good enough_

 _It feels like I'm always just trying_

 _Sometimes I feel like I should give up_

 _And sometimes I feel like I'm dying_

"You've helped me plenty," Ven says over the music. "I know I wouldn't have made it out of that place without you."

Vanitas crossed his arms and his legs, looking at the floor. "You would have managed."

Ven squints a little at him. Vanitas has said that he can feel what Ven is feeling, but it isn't a two way street. Ven can't tell what Vanitas is hiding behind stony expression unless his darker half decides to share. That in itself would be a miracle.

But Vanitas' stony mask has been slipping. And what he said about hanging off the side of Ven's heart, well, Ven hasn't been able to stop imagining that. It isn't how they were supposed to be.

 _I'm tracing my steps back to before I fell apart_

 _Always knew times would get tough, never thought they'd get this hard_

 _Sometimes I feel like giving up_

 _But sometimes I'm still holding on_

 _To late nights in the car_

 _Staring at the stars with passion in our hearts, but it's gone_

"This song's depressing," Ven says. Vanitas shrugs, shoulders tense, defensive, and keeping Ven out.

 _I'm falling to pieces but nobody knows_

 _I'm falling to pieces but won't let it show_

 _I'm hanging from parasails that are wearing out_

 _I'm crashing down as my dreams fade out_

 _I've been falling to pieces for what feels like forever_

 _Can somebody put me back together?_

The second time the chorus plays, Ven listens to the words. Reflexively he hits the power button on the radio to make it stop.

Vanitas picks his head up. "I was listening to that," he says, but Ven can't imagine why he'd want to. Their lives are depressing enough without any background music to remind him.

Vanitas still looks angry, but that's the exact opposite of what Ven wants now. He wants Vanitas in the mirror. He needs him at his side.

"You know what we need? Drinks." Ven strolls over to the crates of glasses and pulls out two shot glasses

Vanitas follows a few steps behind. "I can't drink, Ven."

"Good. Then I'll drink enough for the both of us."

"No you won't." Vanitas leans against the bar, putting his hand right through one of the shot glasses. "You just told Riku off for stealing that."

"While I have an insanity defense," Ven says with a small grin that Vanitas doesn't mimic. "Come on. You're the one that's been saying it's what they're thinking."

"Yeah," Vanitas says, scuffing his boot against the floor. "But they're wrong."

Ven shrugs, and pulls the two shot glasses away from Vanitas. "You know what, at this point, I don't care. I want to sleep," he says, checking it off on one finger, "I want to forget a lot of things," he checks off another finger, "and I don't want to care anymore." His three goals in mind, he grabs a vodka bottle from the shelf.

"This is a bad idea, Ven," Vanitas says, but that doesn't stop Ven from throwing back both shots.

The vodka burns and Ven coughs. It's been a long time since he's had any hard liquor.

"Serves you right," Vanitas says while Ven runs into the kitchen to get a glass of juice.

Gulping cranberry juice, Ven returns to the bar. He turns the radio on for Vanitas and, after a few minutes of trying to the learn the words to the songs, Ven starts feeling the vodka work its magic. It makes him warm and happy and he certainly no longer cares about the dirty looks Vanitas is giving him. Pouring two more shots, Ven gives Vanitas a lopsided grin. "Ever seen an elbow shot?"

"Of course I have," Vanitas says, crossing his arms. "I was still part of you in Carinol when we used to go get shitfaced with Tay."

Ven finds that funny and giggles. "Shitfaced." Tucking the next shot into the crook of his elbow he says, "Watch," and spills some on the floor while throwing it back. "Whoops," he says after a sip of the chaser.

"You're such a lightweight now." Vanitas tries to take the fourth shot from Ven, but his hand goes through it like everything else. "You're going to give yourself alcohol poisoning at this rate."

"No," Ven says, drawing out the word. "I'm going to pass out." It's pretty smart in Ven's opinion, And much faster than getting there by fighting heartless. He fits the fourth shot in the crook of his elbow. "Watch me do it again." Ven jerks his elbow up and the shot glass slips, crashing to the floor.

"Now will you stop?" Vanitas asks. "Three's enough. Go try and sleep."

"Can't," Ven says. He crouches down among the glass fragments and picks at them, scratching one finger. "I still remember." In fact it's like a tide in Ven's mind. All the memories of Castle Oblivion crash over each other, making a jumbled mess of images that make less sense than they had before he started drinking. "Did you know, on every floor, nothing smelled like anything expect blood?" Ven asks and sucks on his cut finger. He cocks his head at Vanitas. "Can you smell if you're all ghosty?"

Vanitas, more than a little annoyed at this point, replies, "No, but I can stand without falling over which is more than you can say."

Grinning, Ven clambers back to his feet, holding the edge of the bar for support. He takes his hand off the bar and puts both in the air. "Wrong!" he says and laughs.

Vanitas' turns more sour. "You know, when we were really part of the same heart, we were never a happy drunk."

Ven leans towards Vanitas, ending up looking up at him. "Well then it's a good thing we're not, right?" he asks, grinning. "This is so much better than getting in bar fights." Ven had hoped their connection would let Vanitas relax with him, but his dark half isn't at all affected by the alcohol.

Vanitas pulls away from Ven. "Yeah. _So_ much better."

Ven pours himself another shot and spills some on the bar top. Downing the vodka, Ven slurps the juice. He puts down the cup, smacking his lips and Vanitas gives him a disgusted look before turning away. "Hey. Hey. Vanitas." Ven giggles and follows Vanitas around the bar. "Remember that time? Remember that bar with the smell like smelly cheese?"

"That was all of them."

"No like really smelly cheese." Ven grabs the vodka bottle and then gets distracted holding it. "I never really like vodka."

Vanitas sits, putting his feet up on one of the tables. "I did," he says.

Ven laughs at that. "No, you didn't. We were the same person."

"How could I forget?" Vanitas asks. His sarcasm is completely missed by Ven.

"See. Alcohol will do that to you," Ven says, shaking a finger at Vanitas. He takes a swig out of the vodka bottle and coughs. "Or...:" He clears his throat. "Or maybe you're just old." Catching sight on himself in the mirror, Ven pauses. "I'm old."

"Please. You're not old," Vanitas says. "You're acting like a fucking child."

"You're the child!" Ven says. He would've come up with a better comeback, but Vanitas didn't deserve one. "You just like to fuck with me and bug me and-and you're just jealous 'cause I'm getting shitfaced and you can't."

Snatching up his shot glass, Ven throws back another, making his head spin. He grabs hold of the edge of the bar to stay on his feet and focuses on being mad to keep from hurling.

"That's it. You've had enough." Vanitas gets back to his feet. "Put the bottle down."

Ven straightens up, keeping the vodka bottle held close. "Shut up already," he says. He's finally feeling better and Vanitas is ruining it. The shot glass is still his left hand and he throws it, clumsily at Vanitas. It goes right through Vanitas' ankles and shatters on the floor. "You can't do anything about it," Ven says, stumbling towards Vanitas with a finger pointed at him accusingly. "I want to drink and you can't stop me 'cause you aren't real. Vampire Vanitas."

Vanitas surges forward, making Ven jerk back and nearly fall. "You want to choke on your own vomit, fine," Vanitas growls right in his face. "I don't care. Fucking do it without me."

And a second later, Vanitas is gone.

Ven looks all around, but Vanitas isn't in the bar anymore. He'd vanished. Given up on Ven like everyone else. "Fucking do it without you," Ven mumbles to himself. The vodka in his hand is his plan. A few more drinks and he'll pass out. All he needs to sleep now is a new shot glass.

He staggers to the bar, but falls against the barstools, breathing hard. The room is spinning and he can feel the weight of the world falling on his shoulders. It knocks him to the ground, butt first, and he curls up against the nearest barstool clutching the vodka bottle to him.

A door opens, but he doesn't look up until he hears his name.

"Ven?"

…

Zack wakes at the sound of breaking glass.

It's accompanied by footsteps and a voice from the floor above. The bar must have stayed open late. He rolls over and is almost back to his dreamless sleep when a second crash from the floor above makes him jolt up. Staring up at his bedroom ceiling, he wonders what in the world Tifa is doing to make so much noise, and a third thump - this one not the same obvious sound of glass - makes him get out of bed.

He goes upstairs and is surprised to find the kitchen dark while there are still lights on in the bar and music playing. He turns the radio off and his eyes fall on are the empty beer bottles. Then the glass shattered on the floor. It had happened once before that a drunk had broken in after the bar closed. Tifa hadn't pressed charges as the man had paid for all damages once he'd sobered up.

Zack spots a huddled figure between the barstools with a vodka bottle held between his knees. Not an intruder, but a surprise nonetheless. "Ven?" Zack asks, getting his attention. "What are you doing?"

Ven uncurls from his position and puts the bottle on the ground between his legs to beckon Zack closer. "Zack," he says and in that one word, Zack can tell Ven's drunk. "C'mere."

Zack hesitates. He's still mad at Ven and the drunk smile Ven has makes him wary, but Ven's big blue eyes draw him in. They've been a missing part of his life so long, even anger can't completely dampen the happiness that bubbles in Zack's chest every time he sees Ven. Crouching down, Zack glances at a second spray of glass fragments by the tables. "What did you break-"

Ven grabs two fistfuls of Zack's pajama shirt and pulls him into a kiss. It has only been a day or so since Zack last kissed Ven, but their fight makes it feel like it's been years. It takes all Zack has not to melt into Ven's touch. Ven's drunk and a sloppy kiss isn't going to fix the rift that's growing between them.

One of their knees knocks over the vodka bottle and Zack breaks their kiss to pick it up. "Oh no. It spilled," Ven says, wrapping his arms happily around Zack's neck. "But you saved it." He tries for another kiss, but Zack turns his head. Undeterred, Ven kisses his neck, making Zack skin heat up.

"Stop it, Ven."

Ven pulls back, for the first time looking sad, and reaches for the bottle in Zack's hand.

"I think you've had enough," Zack says. He can't extract himself from Ven's grip, but he manages put the vodka on the bar top with the beer bottles.

"Hey," Ven says, annoyed. "Give it back. I need that."

Zack shakes his head and hauls Ven to his feet by his armpits. "What you need is to go to bed. It's almost 4AM."

Ven unhooks one arm from his vice grip on Zack to reach for the vodka. "I haven't had enough yet."

First the Guard heartless and now this. Zack doesn't get what is with Ven and this irrationality about everything lately. "Three beers plus however much of this you've had is plenty," Zack says, pushing the vodka out of Ven's reach.

"Those aren't mine," Ven says, glaring at the beers.

"Then whose are they?"

Like a switch being thrown, Ven is back to being happy without any reason Zack can see. Ven grins, lopsided, and presses his finger to Zack's lips. "Shh. It's a secret."

"Alright," Zack says, not believing him. He tries to guide Ven away from the bar so they can both get back to bed, but Ven resists, reaching for the vodka again. "No," Zack says, getting frustrated. "No more alcohol. You're going to sleep."

"I need it to sleep," Ven says, turning unhappy once more. But he's leaning against Zack heavily and his eyelids flicker in away that tells Zack Ven's going to pass out any minute. He'd like to get Ven up the stairs before then.

"You're plenty plastered. You'll go to sleep fine."

"Can't," Ven says, refusing to give up reaching for the vodka.

"Yes, you can." Zack grabs Ven's arm rougher than he means and yanks him a few stumbling steps towards the kitchen.

"You really think so?" Ven asks hopefully. He doesn't seem to notice Zack's rough treatment and wraps both arms around Zack's neck once more."That'll be nice," Ven says, playing absentmindedly with Zack's hair. "I haven't been able to for days."

That makes Zack pause. He puts his hands on Ven's waist to steady him and look him in the eye. "You...haven't been sleeping?" he asks slowly.

Ven puts his finger to Zack's lips again. "Secret. Don't tell anyone."

Zack gently pushes Ven's finger away and touches the dark bags under Ven's eyes. He'd known Ven was having trouble sleeping, but 4AM guzzling of vodka is extreme. "When was the last time you slept?" Zack asks him.

Ven laughs and touches Zack's face, copying him. "You know. You were there when I woke up," he says, then shakes his head. "Well not there when I woke up. There after I woke up. You tackled me." Ven's eyes drift shut and his arms go back around Zack's neck.

"Tackled you?" Zack returns to pulling Ven towards the stairs, trying to figure out what in the world Ven's talking about.

"In the street, the Noise attacked us. Then -" Ven stops suddenly. His grip on Zack's hair tightens and his eyes shoot open. Extracting one hand, he grabs the hem of Zack's shirt and pulls it up, exposing Zack's side.

"What are you doing?" Zack asks, tugging his shirt back into place.

"You're okay!" Ven collapses against Zack in a hug that nearly knock him off his feet. "I thought - it doesn't matter. You're not bleeding anymore."

Nothing Ven is saying makes sense to Zack. Whatever story about Ven's imagining about Zack being hurt is a mystery to him. It dawns on him that everything that happened to Ven in Castle Oblivion is still a mystery too. With a sinking feeling in his gut, Zack asks, "Ven, have you slept since you got out of Castle Oblivion?"

Scrunching his face up, Ven thinks for a moment then shakes his head no. Then a big smile breaks across his face and he starts pulling on Zack. "So let's sleep!"

The way Ven has his arms around Zack makes walking an awkward shuffle, but suddenly fueled by determination, Ven pulls Zack right past the stairs leading to the second floor. "Where are you going?" Zack asks, trying to lead Ven back. "Your room's this way."

Ven giggles and shakes his head. "Let's go to your room. I want to sleep with you," he says looking towards the open door to the basement stairs.

Zack manages to get Ven to hold still a moment and dismisses Ven's choice of phrase. "If you were sober, I don't think you'd want to be sharing a bed with me." Not after the things Zack had said during their fight.

"Well...:" Ven untangles his fingers from Zack's hair and leans in so Zack can feel Ven's breath on his lips. "It doesn't have to be a bed."

Ven runs a hand up the inside of Zack's thigh, making him jump like he'd been shocked. He steps back hastily and hits his back on the corner of the kitchen counter.

"Ven!" Zack keeps his voice low. The last thing he needs is for someone else to come investigate now and see Ven coming on to him like this. "You're drunk. You need to go sleep it off in your own bed."

"You wanted to have sex with me before," Ven says, hurt. Out of Zack's hold, he sways in place. "And at Tifa's wedding. You wanted to have sex with me and I was drunk then."

"You had half a beer," Zack says, exasperated. "You were tipsy at best." He reaches out to steady Ven, but Ven moves away from him, using the wall for support.

"Now I'm tipsy at worst," Ven says, giggling at his own joke.

He staggers towards the basement steps and Zack jumps into action. "Wait. You'll hurt yourself."

Ven turns to poke him in the chest. "You're too protective," he says, then crosses his arms and plops down on the top step. "Watch," he adds and slides down the steps on his butt, each bumping step shaking him.

At the top of the stairs, Zack drags a hand over his face, wondering if anyone has ever had a stranger 4AM than he is having right now.

Ven lays on the floor where he ends up at the bottom of the stairs, giving the ceiling a vacant stare. Zack follows him down, on his feet, and leans over Ven with his hands on his knees. Ven looks so utterly spent lying there, tired to the point of uncaring, that Zack feels like he is seeing him for the first time with every vulnerable part exposed. All he wants to do is gather Ven in his arms and have them be like they used to be. And if he can't have that, he wishes he could make it so Ven never looks this sad again.

"Sora told me about the plan with the Organization," Ven says. "Do you know?"

Zack sinks down to sit beside Ven, their hands inches apart on the carpet. "Yes," he says in a whisper. He could never lie to Ven. "Are you mad?"

Ven nods his head and looks at Zack. "I'm mad you're right. I don't like knowing you're right." He sniffs, his eyes getting wet. "I'm a wreck. I'm a mess. I'm weak and useless and I'm mad that everyone knows it." Ven raises his hand to rub his eyes and when his arms slumps back down, his hand falls on Zack's.

Seizing the opportunity, Zack grips his hand. "I shouldn't have yelled at you. I just got scared when that Guard Armor hurt you. You're struggling with being back and that doesn't make you or wreck or make you weak."

"And I don't want you to fuck off. I wasn't saying it to you." Tears leaking out of the corners of Ven's eyes. His grip on Zack's hand tightens and he wipes a tear off Zack's face that Zack hadn't felt fall. "I love you," Ven says in a broken whisper and pulls Zack to him in a soft kiss.

When they break apart, Ven's eyes stay shut and he goes limp against Zack. For a long minute, Zack sits there holding Ven, running a hand through his hair and wondering if he should try and wake him. But if it's true that he hasn't slept in days, Zack decides passing out will do him at least some good.

It takes a lot of effort to get Ven up off the floor. Leaning him against the wall, Zack takes a moment to catch his breath. Two flights of stairs carrying Ven would be too dangerous if not impossible. The only choice Zack really has is his own bed.

He gets Ven over his shoulder enough to carry him the short way to the bed and lays him down gently. Ven mumbles in his sleep while Zack takes his shoes off and tucks him. "Goodnight, Ven," Zack saying, running a hand though Ven's hair one last time. "We're in for one hell of an explanation in the morning I'm sure."

Taking a blanket from the foot of the bed, Zack starts to make himself up a bed on the couch when Ven starts rolling around and mumbling louder than before.

"Don't want to be here," he says, twisting under the sheets. "Don't...not real…"

Zack touches Ven's arm, wondering if he is having a nightmare, but at his touch, Ven relaxes.

"Zack," he whispers in his sleep.

Zack withdraws his hand and Ven expression gets stricken once more.

"No," he moans and gets quiet once Zack touches his shoulder again.

"You're going to be so mad at me in the morning," Zack says, but sees no other way to keep Ven sleeping peacefully. Going around the bed, he lays down beside Ven with a sigh. There may be a rift between them, but still, this is what he wants so badly it hurts to think that in the morning Ven won't want him as close.

Ven curls up against him, his breath on Zack's shoulder. With a cautious movement, Zack puts an arm around him. The smile Ven gives in his sleep melts anything that remained of the barrier that Zack had built up in the aftermath of their fight. This still-life moment is how they should be.

Tomorrow might come with Ven yelling at him again or telling him in a broken voice that he needs space, but tonight at least, with Ven asleep, Zack can pretend that they are fine.

…

"Roxas, Roxas, Roxas. Rox-sass. Rox-ass. Rox and a fox and a clock. Rox likes …" Axel stumbles out of a dark corridor onto the beach of the play island. He kicks at the sand that had tried to trip him. "Forgot the last word of my love poem," Axel says and kicks the sand again.

Going to the water's edge, Axel raises the bottle of fireball whiskey he'd swiped from the first bar he'd been thrown out of. "To Rox-sass. And blond spikeys everywhere," he toasts to the night sky and turns his bottle bottoms up.

There's enough left for half a swig and once that's gone, the bottle slips from Axel's hands. "Roxas," he whispers to himself and staggers up the beach. "Roxas, Roxas, Roxas."

The ladder up to the treehouse looks a mile long and feels like it's swaying once Axel is on the first rung. His stomach rolls, protesting, but Axel forces himself to climb. Roxas is at the top and if Axel reaches him, he'll be his knight in shining armor.

Axel makes it up two rungs, wobbles, and falls off. He lays on his back where he fell and kicks the bottom rung of the stupid ladder. "It's too hard." He wants Roxas so bad, but the Roxas at the top of the ladder isn't even the Roxas he really wants. "This is all Ven's fault." But that isn't true. The blame for Axel's misery lay solely on the convoluted, wretched mess of - "Hearts!"

Axel's anger gives him the energy to get back on his feet and shake his fist the stars. All those people living with that terrible malady, that irrational disrupter, that pulsing, impassioned core of emotions. How dare they have a heart. It isn't fair!

"Not fair," Axel says. The one person who made him feel like he had a heart again was taken from him and returned a shell.

Axel sags against the ladder and, with a clumsy gesture, summons a dark corridor to take him to the doorway of the treehouse. The curtain is tied open and a sliver of starlight reaches inside, enlightening the back of Roxas' head. If Axel still had anything left to drink, he would have toasted those blond spikes again.

"Rox," Axel says, trying and failing to keep his voice down. "You awake?" He stumbles into the room and leans, hands on his knees, over Roxas who stirs.

"Axel?" Roxas rolls onto his back, blinking confused up at Axel. "What's happening?"

"I'm sorry, Rox-sass," Axel says. "So, so sorry."

"For leaving? It's okay." Roxas sits up and looks at Axel properly. "Are you okay?" He asks, his brow furrowing.

"I'm empty," Axel says. He gestures with a limp hand. "You're empty. It's not fair."

Roxas gets to his feet, asking, "What's not fair? You're confusing me, Axel."

Axel nods solemnly, making his whole body bob. "It is not your fault. I want to make you remember."

"I'm trying to remember." Roxas moves next to Axel and Axel looks down at his feet.

"Socks!"

"What?"

"The word from the poem. You like socks, right? Nevermind. You're wearing them. Who doesn't?" Axel reaches out to brace himself against the wall since the room won't stop spinning, but he misses and falls against Roxas.

Roxas makes a noise of surprise but catches Axel. "Why are you acting like this?" Roxas asks him, trying to get Axel back on his own two feet.

Axel, who happens to like being exactly where he is, wraps his arms around Roxas' neck. "I love you," he says, his words slurring. Roxas' lips part to ask another question, but Axel dips his head and claims Roxas' lips in a kiss.

Kissing Roxas tastes like fireball. A second of heaven, and then Axel gets burned.

He doesn't feel Roxas punch him. What he does feel is the loss of Roxas' lips and the bruise on his backside when he hits the floor. It takes a moment for the stinging in his cheek to bring its sluggish clarity to his mind.

Holding his jaw, Axel looks up at Roxas who's shaking out his fist. The scared look on his face is Axel's fault. "Rox…" Axel says, reaching out.

But Roxas backs away with a look that screams betrayal. Before Axel can get another word out, Roxas turns and runs out of the treehouse, disappearing into the night.

"Roxas!" Axel shouts after him, but that takes all the energy out of him. He falls flat on his back with a thump, and knocks his head against the floor a few extra times for good measure. "Stupid, stupid, stupid," he mutters and then shuts his eyes, hoping sleep can erase his mistakes.

* * *

 **attack on kronos:** **You're too sweet! Thank you! There is always more pain to come for my children**

 **RoseShine 76:** **I LOVE THE SADNESS TOO! (that's a totally normal thing to say right?)**

 **Amestri:** **Hope your exams went well! Mine sucked ass so no shame if they didn't. AND THERE NEEDS TO BE MORE SEINER IN THE WORLD! (that is all I have to say on that matter)**

 **Micaelaann. Cruz:** **Everybody's kissing! I'm glad you loved last chapter!**

 **Super Guest-Chan:** **;)**

 **Alright! It's summer, I'm home, I have a 9-5 job like a I'm a real adult (like no joke I even have a cubicle), and currently want to build a time machine cause I ain't cool with this being old shit (and yes I realize being almost 20 doesn't actually qualify me as old)**

 **I also really miss the bottle of vodka I had in my dorm room**

 **Disclaimer: Don't try what you read in this chapter at home. Ven def drank that many vodka shots too fast and fireball is only for those with a unhealthy obsession with cinnamon / a need to burn from the inside out.**

 **But for real, this chapter was a beast and I need a drink. Y'all are great for being patient with my inconsistent postings! I toast all of you with the wine glass I'm pretending I have!**


	21. The Morning After

Chapter 21 _The Morning After_

Axel wakes to the sun shining right in his face. The curtain across the treehouse doorway had been left half open. The light is blinding and worsens his killer headache. Wincing, he raises his hand to cover his eyes. God, his mouth tastes awful.

He almost rolls over and goes back to sleep. Almost. But broken memories of the night before rush to mind fast enough to make him wince again. "Fuck," he whispers, raising his head enough to see he's alone in the treehouse. Judging by how high the sun is in the sky, it's midmorning and Roxas hasn't come back yet. "Fuck me." Axel drags himself to his feet. How could he have let last night happen? Since becoming a Nobody, trust and Roxas had gone together like oil and water. Now they are worse than square one. Square negative five bajillion; all because Axel couldn't handle Roxas asking him what love is. He'd acted so...emotional.

Leaving the treehouse, it's like the sun is aimed right between his eyes, trying to fry his brain. It feels like it's working. But from the railing Axel spots Roxas' huddled figure on the trunk of the paopu tree, and he puts his miserable hangover aside to go after him.

Axel tries to come up with the right way to apologize, but he crosses the bridge and comes to a stop, facing Roxas' hunched back, with no idea what to do. "Roxas," he says, quietly, not wanting to startle him. His voice is raspy from sleep. Roxas doesn't move or give any indication he heard Axel, so Axel approaches him cautiously like one might approach a wild animal.

"Rox." Axel keeps his voice quiet and his eyes on his shoes. He can't bear to see that betrayed look in Roxas' eyes again. "I'm sorry. It's no excuse to say I was drunk. I just…" Axel gestures tiredly. "I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry."

"You don't need to apologize."

Axel lifts his head, surprised. Roxas isn't looking at him. He stares out to sea with his eyes vacant and his voice had sounded like he's out of it.

"Are you okay?" Axel asks.

Roxas turns to him, eyes focusing slightly. "I'm remembering."

"You're…" Axel wonders if his jaw hit the sand or if it just felt like it was hanging that low. "What are you remembering?"

"That ice cream you gave me to try," Roxas says. "That other boy who was here, Zexion, I remember him in a library. And a guy I hated, Rexick." He touches his temple and closes his eyes. "Nothing really makes sense, like a lot of things are layered on top of each other, demanding that I think about them all at once." His brow furrows and his expression turns pained.

Instantly, Axel is right at his side. "Does it hurt?" He asks, worried.

Roxas nods and looks up. "I remember that wasn't our first kiss."

All intelligent thought leaves Axel. "Ha…" he gasps, the closest he can make to a reply. He forgets how to breathe for what had to be close to a minute and he catches a hint of Roxas' lips trying to quirk up in a smile.

"It doesn't feel real," Roxas says, rubbing his temple. "It's like it's someone else's story that I'm trying to fit into." His hand falls back into his laps and he shifts away from Axel. "I think I need to be alone. Sort it out myself."

"Sure," Axel says. He can't take offense to that when he feels like he's floating. Roxas remembers kissing him, which means he remembers _why_ he kissed him which means-

"Thanks, Axel," Roxas says quietly.

"Sure," Axel says again. He'd sound less dumb if he could come up with another word. "Yep."

Roxas has turned away from him, but Axel can't go quite yet. He throws his arms around Roxas from behind and gives him a tight hug, half expecting another punch. "I missed you, partner," he says, touching his forehead to Roxas' shoulder briefly. Then he releases Roxas and steps back. "I'll be at the treehouse if you need me."

...

Zack spends his first few minutes of the morning completely still, afraid to ruin the moment. One ray of sunlight from the tiny windows the basement falls on the bed beside him, turning golden hair more golden. Ven had burrowed under the covers up to his ears during the night. He has frown lines in his forehead and the pillow under his arms is in a death grip. It's far from peaceful sleep, but at least he's sleeping.

Without the alcohol and without the fuzzy surrealness that comes with being awake at 4AM, Zack's frustration and, more prominently, his guilt makes him shift away from Ven. Retracting his leg that had ended up tangled with Ven's makes Ven fidget in his sleep, but he doesn't wake. Zack knows eventually he will have to break the tentative peace with the harsh reality they're both going to have to face in the daylight. A few drunk kisses wouldn't change things. When Ven wakes up, he's going to push Zack away again.

With slow movements, Zack climbs out of bed. His stomach grumbles and he gives Ven one last, long look before going upstairs to find breakfast.

Tifa is in the kitchen slicing limes. "Good morning, Zack," she says. "You got up late."

"Yeah." Zack closes the door softly behind him and busies himself with the toaster. Tifa has always been good at reading his face and he wouldn't put it past her to be able to tell from the back of his head if he lied to much. Getting eggs out of the fridge, he starts to explain. "Last night-"

"Riku already told me what happened," Tifa says, interrupting.

Zack pauses, cradling four eggs in his hand. "Riku?" He repeats, but Tifa doesn't hear him.

"He apologized about ten times already and you know him. He's got that sad puppy look when he's really sorry about something. Couldn't even ground him for it. He cleaned up the mess and promised to work a double shift tonight to make up for it."

Zack let out a quiet sigh of relief. He doesn't know why Riku fessed up to what Ven did, but if it got him out of having to tell Tifa Ven spent the night in Zack's bed, he isn't going to look the gift horse in the mouth. Still, Tifa's eyes are on him, making the hair on the back of his neck stand up.

"How are you doing?" She asks in an attempt at a casual voice. "You know...with what happened," she drops her voice, "with Ven."

Zack takes a long moment to answer, not sure what to even say. He gets the eggs going and the toast pops out of the toaster. "I just wish I had a better idea of where we are right now," he says, taking jelly from the fridge. "If he would just talk to me…"

"I could talk to him for you," Tifa says like she has been waiting to offer all morning. "I can be like a middleman and get you both in a room together. I can go up right now and get him. He hasn't been down yet."

"No!" Zack turns around quickly. Tifa stops halfway to the stairs, looking at him for an explanation. "Uh...let him sleep. He hasn't been getting much rest lately."

"Alright," Tifa says, put out. She returns to her limes and gathers them in bowl to take out to the bar. "Watch your eggs. Don't let them burn." Passing Zack, she goes on tip-toe to kiss the back of his head with a loud smacking of her lips. "I'm always here. Just say the word," she says.

"I know," Zack calls after her. "I never doubt you are always ready to meddle."

"I do it with love," she shouts back and Zack chuckles.

Adding some cheese to the eggs, Zack lets them cook for a minute longer and then scoops them from the frying pan onto two plates. He doesn't so a very good job making the plates even, but remembering how little Ven has been eating, he takes even more off his plate to make Ven's plate bigger. Stacking the toast on the plates, he spots a bottle of advil on top of the fridge. After how much Ven had to drink, there is no doubt he will have a hangover. He holds one plate, balances the other on his arm, and needs a free hand to open the door, so he tucks the advil under his chin and makes for his bedroom before Tifa can come back to the kitchen and ask him what he's doing.

Zack may have grown up working at the bar, but balancing two plates while turning the doorknob of his room proves more challenging than he expected. Just as the door swings open, he loses hold of one of the plates and it starts to slip.

"Woah!" Sora is suddenly at his side, catching the plate, and returning it to a balanced position on Zack's arm. "Got it!"

"Thanks," Zack says, relieved. He switches back to one plate in each hand before disaster can strike again.

Sora wipes his forehead, sweaty from his early shift with the militia and grins, pointing to the two plates. "You really hungry or something?"

"Uhh..." Zack glances at his dark room, then back at Sora. There is no way to say that Ven got drunk and spent the night in Zack's bed that wouldn't give Sora the wrong impression.

Sora looks from the two plates to the advil. "Oh." His mouth forms a perfect circle and he drops his gaze to the steps to Zack's bedroom, cheeks turning red. "Right."

Zack feels his cheeks warming too. "It's not..." His voice dies in his throat and he stares at Sora who stares back. So much for not giving the wrong impression.

"I'm gonna...I'm gonna go do the thing," Sora says backing away. "I mean the shower thing...you know. Finished my shift...sweaty...probably smelly...have to see Kairi..." The jumble of words and half phrases tumble out of Sora's mouth until he reaches the stairs to the second floor and nearly trips over the first step. "N-not that I'm going to see Kairi in the shower, I mean. That's not-" Sora takes a deep breath, his face still burning red. In a rush he says, "I'm happy for you and for Ven and that you're back together and I promise I won't tell anyone."

"Sora," Zack says, trying to call him back, but Sora is up the stairs in a flash. With a sigh, he starts down the stairs and uses his foot to close the door behind him.

...

Ven snaps awake to a gross taste in his mouth and a pounding headache. He has a pillow in his arms, clutched like a lifeline. It smells like Zack. It takes Ven a moment to realize the reason why. He's in Zack's bed, in Zack's room, and it's morning.

"What did I do last night?" Ven asks aloud, dropping a hand over his eyes.

"Made an ass of yourself, but that's not new."

Vanitas. Of course it's Vanitas. Part of Ven is relieved that the disappearing act that Vanitas had pulled (which Ven does remember) had been temporary, but mostly Ven wishes he had another shot glass to throw.

Sitting up, Ven winces. It's been so long since he last had a hangover. He'd almost forgot how bad they could be. He groans and leans his head back against the bed's headboard.

"Serves you right," Vanitas says, standing at the foot of the bed. Nose turned up all superior. Asshole.

Ven throws a pillow at him, missing by two feet. Vanitas snorts and raises his eyebrow in a challenge. _Is that all you got?_

Massaging his temples, Ven tries to recall everything that had happened and how in the world he'd ended up here. He feels betrayed by his drunk self. His anger for Zack is a sore spot, lingering in the back of his mind. Ven doesn't want to see him, but he doesn't want to leave Zack's bed.

Vanitas perches on the arm of the couch, never taking his eyes off Ven. "Explain something to me," he says. "What is your attraction to Zack? Why do you go back to him after he says awful things to you?"

"You say awful things to me."

"Yeah, and you hate me."

"No, I don't," Ven says and Vanitas' head jerks up in surprise. It's sad that he thought otherwise. "You're stupid for thinking I do," Ven adds. He sighs. "I'm not talking to you about Zack."

The door at the top of the stairs opens and Ven sits up straighter, knowing he's cornered. He's going to have to talk. Zack's going to have questions.

"What are you going to tell him?" Vanitas asks.

Ven wishes he knew. "Maybe I should tell him everything," he whispers. Zack starts down the stairs and his eyes find Ven's. The embarrassing things Ven said last night come back to him, turning his cheeks red. But despite what had happened, Zack is bringing him breakfast in bed. Ven has never felt less deserving of him. He's the awful one between the two of them.

"You tell him about Castle Oblivion and he's going to kick into 10th gear smotherer," Vanitas warns. "Or he'll start padding the walls. Either way him and his macho-man complex will do something stupid like chase down Namine for you. We both know how that would end."

Ven knows, but he doesn't want to imagine it. Zack comes to the bed and sits on the corner by Ven's feet. Ven pulls his knees up to his chest and hugs them, waiting for him to say something first.

Putting one plate in his own lap, Zack holds out an aspirin bottle he'd carried tucked under his chin. "Thought you might need this."

Ven takes the bottle, having trouble meeting Zack's gaze. "Thanks," he whispers and takes two of the pills dry. Without a word, Zack hands him the second plate of eggs and toast.

"You can storm out now before he has a chance to ask anything," Vanitas says. He walks over to lean against the bedside table next to Ven. "You know he's going to ask."

Zack doesn't ask anything though. He sits cross legged facing Ven and starts in on his breakfast, keeping his eyes on his plate. Slowly Ven uncurls himself to mirror him and picks at his food; eating a few small bites of the eggs and then nibbling on a piece of toast. He can't help, but glance at Zack every so often. After several minutes of silence, he looks up at the same time Zack does.

Seeing Zack's plates empty, Ven holds his out to him. "You can have the rest of mine.

"I had enough," Zack says, putting his plate on the ground. "You should have more than that. You haven't been eating lately."

Ven tries to take a few more bites. He can barely bring himself to chew. Giving up, he puts his plate on the floor too, bracing for the inevitable over-concern from Zack.

"Hangovers can really ruin your appetite, huh?"

Zack smiles, a bit hesitantly. Ven does his best to return it. "You sound like you're speaking from experience." Ven says, hoping to steer the conversation in direction where he isn't the topic.

"Lots, unfortunately."

For a few seconds, Ven thinks Zack won't push him, but then the Zack's smile fades. "Are you going to tell me, or do I have to ask?" he asks.

Vanitas tsks. "Entitled, isn't he?"

"Please, don't ask," Ven says. "I don't want to lie to you."

"Then just tell me," Zack says. Ven can tell how frustrated he is by his voice and his too tense shoulders. "What do you think you have to lie about? It's me you're talking to. Doesn't that -" His voice catches in a way Ven didn't expect. "Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

"You know what he'll say," Vanitas says.

Ven swallows hard, shaking his head. "You'll say I'm crazy.

"No, I won't." Zack slides closer on the bed and Ven brings his knees up to his chest again. Tentatively, Zack reaches out and touches Ven's hand. "I'll listen."

Ven presses his lips together, shaking his head. He isn't going to cry. He's already pathetic enough. "I can't."

"I'm trying here, Ven," Zack says, his voice tight. "Why can't you meet me halfway?"

He says it like halfway isn't that far. He doesn't know what he's asking of Ven. 'I've lost my mind.' 'I've gone completely mad.' How is Ven supposed to admit those things? 'I'm the only one who can see Vanitas.' 'I remember you dying twice.'

If he admits that something is wrong with him, Zack will try and fix it. By any means necessary. He can't tell him about what Namine did. He can't tell him about his broken memory. And Vanitas-

Ven stares at his darker half, terrified. If Zack found about Vanitas being in his heart, he would be disgusted. Repulsed. Zack hated Vanitas. He could never love Ven knowing they are a package deal.

The bedroom has no air left. Ven can't breathe. "I have to get out of here," he stutters and springs off the bed. His foot catches the edge of his half eaten plate, spilling eggs all over the floor.

Zack stands, reaching out to steady him, but Ven backs away. He needs to get out of here before he really loses it. His lips are trembling and Zack is looking at him, so upset. "Why are you so sure I'd think you're crazy?" Zack half shouts.

"Because I am. I know I am." Ven seeks out Vanitas, finding him close. He's smiling and trying to hide it. This is what he wanted, Ven knows, for him to reject Zack. Part of him wants to tell Zack everything, just to piss Vanitas off, but then he looks at Zack. His Zack. All grown up, but still the same as the boy Ven remembers. "I can't hear you say it," Ven whispers, and then he runs.

...

Ven takes an aimless walk through Traverse Town's secret places, looking to be alone. But nowhere here is really that secret. Yuffie and Ryla are in the alley by Cid's shop. Donald and Goofy are on the high balcony in the third district. Leon is chatting with Aerith behind the hotel. Ven finally finds a quiet spot by the bell tower and sits with his legs over the edge, looking down at the world below, feeling like he barely knows it. Like he doesn't belong.

Vanitas joins him but has the sense to sit with ample space between them. A long time passes in silence with the two of them staring down the long drop off the roof. Vanitas is the first to speak, keeping his voice quiet. "You shouldn't call yourself crazy."

Ven takes a deep breath and lets it out in a sigh. "If the shoe fits," he says, sullenly.

"You're not crazy," Vanitas snaps. "Trust me on that. I'm in your head, remember?"

"And you know something's wrong with me." Why does Vanitas have to be difficult now? He should happy, all smiles. Ven did what he wanted and rejected Zack. Zack, who was only trying to comfort him and be there for him the way he promised he would the day Ven finally made it back to him.

"That -" Vanitas drags a hand over his face, frustrated. "You want the blunt truth?" He asks, but doesn't wait for an answer. "Calling yourself crazy is a cop out. It's you giving up because it's too hard to accept what happened to you."

Ven stares at him, disbelieving. After everything he's been through, Vanitas is telling him he's not trying hard enough. "Fuck you," Ven says, turning away from Vanitas.

Vanitas kicks his feet against the building. "You know what's wrong with your friends? They're all too nice. Babying you instead of calling you on your bullshit."

"Yeah?" Ven says, challenging, but he refuses to look at Vanitas. "And what's my bullshit?"

"This pathetic acceptance that you're broken and can't be fixed. You're calling yourself crazy because there is no cure for crazy."

Ven jerks his head around. "Then what is wrong with me?" He demands. "What's the cure?"

Vanitas shrugs like answering that question isn't as important as pointing out what he thinks Ven's doing wrong. "I don't know, but you sure as hell can't find it in the bottom of a bottle."

Of course this is about last night. Vanitas had gotten angry as soon as Ven had pulled out the vodka bottle. He'd been so infuriating about it, not caring that it was helping Ven feel better. He gotten so annoyed he disappeared. Ven wishes he's stayed gone.

"You should try your disappearing act again."

Vanitas scoffs. "I'm trying to help."

"Help?" Ven repeats incredulously. Vanitas' help hadn't fixed him. Listening to him only made Ven act more crazy in front of everyone else. He'd gotten under Ven's skin and driven him apart from his friends. And he did it all hiding a smile. "The only thing you've been trying to do is to get me to push Zack away," Ven says, realizing that he has been so stupid. How could he have trusted Vanitas so completely?

"Only because he's not good for you."

"Not 'only because'. You hate him."

Vanitas can't rebuke that. He snaps his mouth shut and stares Ven down, but he doesn't intimidate Ven anymore. Ven might not be able to feel what Vanitas feels, but he's learned a lot about him since waking up in Castle Oblivion. And he'd found that the darkest parts of Vanitas weren't alien to him. He'd meant it when he'd said he doesn't hate Vanitas.

"I guess it's not your fault," Ven says. "Xehanort split us right after I broke up with him."

"We," Vanitas whispers under his breath.

"You took all the dark parts of me - us. You got stuck with all the anger at him in that moment."

Vanitas drags a hand over his face, but this time it's not out of frustration. When his hands fall to his lap, his expression is sad. "I've been trying to give it back to you. I took the anger which meant you lost it. You forgave him. That wasn't supposed to happen."

"Well, it didn't work. I'm not mad at him," Ven says, looking away. He wants to forgive Vanitas too, but he's not ready to yet. "Zack's mad at me because of you. This is what you wanted all along. Me isolated."

"Being alone is for the best. I know you don't want to go back to them. You don't want them fighting your battles."

Ven shakes his head slowly and Vanitas' voice rises.

"Don't put it on me because you're the one pushing them away, It puts them in danger to be around us, the X-blade wielder. I would do it too if it meant someone I cared about would have a better life. So why don't you walk away?"

"You don't get it." Ven reaches into his pocket and pulls out the pin Zack had given him so long ago. He rubbed the worn surface with his thumb. "You've never been in love or had friends and family. You don't understand how hard it is to leave."

"I would be strong enough."

Ven closes his fingers over the pin, squeezing it tight. "But I'm not." He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. "I think you should go," he says to Vanitas. "For a little while."

A short, stunned silence follows. Then Vanitas says, "Go? You want me to go away?" From his voice, Ven can't tell if he's angry or sad.

Keeping his eyes shut, Ven says, "I need to be me. I need to think on my own."

"By that you mean you don't need me."

"I need a lot of things, but it's impossible to have them all at once." Ven doesn't want to hurt Vanitas, but with Vanitas he loses his friends and he loses Zack.

"Hmpf. I guess I didn't make the short list."

"I didn't mean it like that." Ven opens his eyes to see Vanitas looking vulnerable for the first time ever. Ven can see how deep his words cut him. Vanitas had nothing to return to except hanging off the side of Ven's heart if Ven pushes him away.

Vanitas expression darkens suddenly. Defenses coming up. "Whatever," he says in a cold voice. "I'm tired of how bright this world is anyway."

He vanishes before Ven can say another word. Sitting there alone, Ven realizes he'd been looking at Vanitas with pity.

...

The longer he spends without Vanitas' constant stream of comments and opinions, the more Ven realizes how much he'd been letting his darker half influence him, playing up his fears. Which should make Ven hate him or at least not feel guilty for sending Vanitas away, but it doesn't. It only makes him feel very alone.

Ven sits on the bell tower for hours until his butt goes numb, trying to pluck up the courage to go back and talk to Zack. If Zack would ever want to talk to him again.

Ven sighs, and flops onto his back, folding his hands under his head. He could really use some advice right now. Fatherly advice would be nice, or brotherly. He wishes Terra was there to push him into Zack like he had to get him to talk about Keric. Well...that hadn't actually gone so well. But a good shove is what he needs to get off this tower.

Riku startles Ven from his thoughts. "Hey, Ven," he says coming up the ladder to the tower with a sheepish expression.

"Riku," Ven says, sitting up. "How are you feeling?"

"Okay. Not wasted at least."

"That's good," Ven says, motioning for him to over. He thinks he does a good job hiding how upset he is about his own wasted night, but Riku still asks,

"Are you okay?"

"I'm -" Ven can't bring himself to say he's fine this time "I wish people would stop asking me that."

Riku sits on the tower edge, swinging his feet. He's biting his lip too, looking stricken like he is conflicted. Ven waits for him to say what's on his mind. If Riku is anything like him, pushing him won't help.

Riku opens and shuts his mouth several times with no words coming out. He glances at Ven and, seeing his patient expression, ducks his head.

"I yelled at Sora yesterday," Riku says. "He didn't deserve it."

"I'm sure he'll forgive you," Ven says. That doesn't seem like enough to get Riku this upset. He hadn't mentioned Sora last night, only said something about darkness.

"Yeah, I know he will. For that."

It's hard, trying not to push. But this is Ven's moment to prove he's still a big brother to the younger keyblade wielders. "You can tell me anything, Riku. You know that, right?" Ven asks and Riku nods.

With a few more false starts, Riku finally asks, "Do some keyblade wielders have darkness?"

"Of course," Ven says, then realizes a quick response like that might have sounded a little condescending. Riku, Sora, and Kairi hadn't gotten classical keyblade training. It's not their fault there are gaps in their knowledge. "There are keyblades that get their power from light and others that come from darkness."

Riku nods, rubbing his hands together. "Xehanort gets his power from darkness, right?"

Ven has a feeling he knows where this is going. Reluctantly he says, "Yes."

"So darkness is evil." Riku clenches his fist.

"Not necessarily. It's just another kind of power."

"One that light keyblade wielders shouldn't have."

Riku looks at him, pleading silently for Ven to tell him he's wrong. Ven picks his words carefully, knowing how important it is to get this right. But he can't swear off all darkness ever, like Master Eraqus used to tell him to. Maybe he should pass on that lesson, but he needs to give his honest opinion. For himself as much as Riku.

"Nothing is as black and white as people like to believe," Ven says, looking straight at Riku to keep him from dropping his gaze. "A lot of light keyblade wielders don't have the ability to use darkness. If they try to use it, things end up disastrous. Those are the people who you might hear stories about. The ones who get possessed by the darkness."

Riku nods and ducks his head. "That's every story. Darkness always corrupt."

Ven pauses. He starts to smile, knowing how to make Riku feel better. "That is what happened to Xehanort."

"I know."

Ven touches Riku's shoulder, getting him to look at him. "But if you're going to believe darkness always turns a person evil, then you're going to have to lump me in with that group too."

Riku's jaw drops a little. "You?"

Ven nods and Riku returns his smile. "X-blade wielders have hearts that are half light and half dark. It's all about balance. As long as I stay balanced, I'm fine. I'm not going to lie, Riku, having darkness can be dangerous. Your light always has to stay stronger than it." Vanitas would probably make some snide comment at that, saying light could never being as strong as darkness.

"Have you ever used the darkness?" Riku asks, then turns a little red. "Sorry. I shouldn't ask you that."

"I'm not ashamed to say I have," Ven says, hoping Vanitas is listening. "And it's a good thing too. If I hadn't been able to summon a dark keyblade, Terra, Aqua, Master Eraqus, and I would have been screwed the time we went to Carinol." Between the lines he is trying to say, _See Van? I need you._ But there is no way to tell if the message is getting through.

Ven decides to turn Riku's question on him. "Have you ever used the darkness?"

Riku swallows before nodding. "When I get angry, or I guess sometimes when I'm scared. I don't always mean to do it."

"Can you control it when you use it?" Ven asks. Riku won't have a 'Vanitas' of his own to take control during the use of darkness. He'll have to be able to do it on his own. Something Ven is sure he himself could never do.

"The first time it exploded out of me, but after that, I've channeled it," Riku admits. "For good," he adds quickly.

"I know you would only use it for good, Riku," Ven says.

Riku relaxes, running his fingers through his hair. Smiling, he looks less serious; more like the child he used to be.

"Who else knows?" Ven asks. It's secretly a selfish question. Who else wouldn't immediately dismiss all darkness?

"Sora. Kairi, maybe. She hasn't said anything to me." Riku hesitates before adding, "And Zack."

Ven tries not to show any special interest in Zack. "And what did they say about it?"

Riku shrugs, telling Ven no one has been all that supportive of him using the darkness. And determining, for sure, he isn't going to tell Zack about Vanitas.

"I can't promise that they will all come around," Ven says. "Some people have been given plenty of reason to hate the darkness. Like Zack." He can see Riku wants to say something about Zack, but Ven quickly adds, "It's up to you, Riku, to decide when you use the darkness or if you don't use it at all."

"You're not going to tell me never to use it?"

Ven can't tell if he's happy or not about that. Ven knows when things are hard, it can be nice to have someone tell you what to do. He puts his hand on Riku's shoulder again. "I trust you."

Riku exhales a long breath. "I'm glad I told you," he says. "I almost chickened out. And I'm sorry about last night." The sheepish expression he had had coming up the ladder comes back. "I'm working a double shift to make it up to Tifa for smashing those shot glasses."

Ven tilts his head in confusion, then realizes Riku's memories of the night before are probably as hazy as Ven's. "Oh. You didn't do that," Ven says. It's his turn to be sheepish.

"I didn't? I couldn't remember doing it but I just assumed…" Riku trails off, looking questioningly at Ven. "Did you break the glasses?"

Ven rubs the back of his head, embarrassed. "Uh, yeah. You weren't the only one looking for an answer in the bottom of a bottle last night," he says. "I'll tell Tifa. You don't need to work the extra shift."

But Riku is already waving him off. "Don't worry about it. It'll be my thanks to you for the advice."

Ven grins. "Anytime. I mean it, okay?"

"Okay." Riku stands, looking like he's about to leave, but he hesitates. "I'm probably way out of line, but can I give you some advice?"

"About what?" Ven asks, but he already knows what.

"Talk to Zack. I'm not saying you have to make up just…" Riku gestures, looking self-conscious. "Talk without yelling this time."

Ven stares down at his shoes, his jaw too tight to respond.

Riku goes to leave, but stops at the ladder. "He doesn't leave his room anymore than you do," he says and Ven turns. "I get that it's hard for the two of you to go back to the way things were now that everything's changed, but if you give each other a chance, you might realize you've changed in the same ways."

Ven takes sighs and nods. That would nice."I'm see pining after Marlene for over half your life has made you a love sickness expert," he says, teasingly. He can't resist adding in a singsong voice, "Riku and Marlene sitting in a tree-"

"Please, for the love of god, don't start that again," Riku says, holding up both hands to stop him and looking over his shoulder like Sora might pop up behind him, inspired to torture Riku with that song again.

Ven laughs. It feels good, and genuine, and normal. "You remember that?" he asks Riku. "Sora doesn't."

"I'm having flashbacks right now thanks to you," Riku grumbles, rubbing his forehead. "You would always goad him to do it."

"What can I say? It was always funny."

Riku shakes his head, but he's smiling."Except when Terra would sing it about you and Zack, right?"

They both laugh, remembering those good times. Their life back then is everything Ven misses. He knows he can't get it all back, but he can get Zack back. Hopefully. He has to at least try.

"You coming down?" Riku asks, stepping onto the ladder.

"In a little while," Ven says. He has an apology he has to make first.

Riku disappears down the ladder and Ven waits until he can see him going into the first district to make sure he isn't overheard.

"Van?" Ven says aloud. "I'm sorry." He looks around, but Vanitas doesn't reappear. "I'm not better off now that you're not really part of my heart. I'll find a way to fix us. I promise."

...

Ven knocks on Zack's bedroom door and opens it a crack. "Zack?" he calls quietly. His voice is hoarse and tired. He listens for a response, but Zack isn't down there. He hears the bar door open and sees Kairi coming in. Keen on avoiding any questions, he ducks down the stairs and shuts the door before she sees him.

At the bottom of the stairs, Ven calls again. "Zack?" The basement's empty and the bed has been made. Evidence of their breakfast had all been taken upstairs. The floor is clean like the spilled eggs had never happened. Ven hopes he can clean up and restart with Zack like that, but it's a big mess he's made.

Not knowing where Zack has gone and much too tired to search, Ven sits at the end of Zack's bed, looking down at the carpet.

No matter the outcome, he needs to talk to Zack. Zack deserves at least that much from him. And after the truth is out there, he'll leave if Zack wants him to.

If he does go, they'd all be better off without him, like Vanitas had said. No one else fighting for him or getting hurt for him. He'd tough it out alone with his memories. Maybe he could forget all the bad ones if he focused on the good ones instead.

If this is to be the end of him and Zack, he doesn't want to remember fights, or what happened in the alley. He'd like it if the only memory he kept was of him and Zack the night Tifa and Cloud's wedding. Making out and ending up on this carpet. He used to smile so much back then. Zack had been everything Ven had wanted.

Zack is everything he has ever wanted.

The waiting is awful. Wherever Zack is, he isn't hurrying back. Ven plays through what he will say, what Zack will say back. Every time he imagines it, it gets worse and worse. He's really screwed himself this time.

The sun sets and the bedroom turns dark. Ven's too entrenched in his own thoughts to bother to turn on a light. It isn't until the door at the top of the stairs opens and the ceiling lights turn on that Ven realizes how late it's gotten. Zack comes down the stairs with heavy steps and freezes, seeing Ven.

"Hi, Zack," Ven says. All the times playing through what he would say didn't help. Zack looks so mad and Ven's heart feels like it's trying to break out of his chest. "I'm ready to tell you everything, if you still want to listen."

Zack takes a long time coming down the rest of the steps. He crosses the room with a hard look fixed on Ven that makes him duck his head. Without a word, Zack sits on the bed, leaving a large gap between them.

Ven licks his lips and swallows. "I'm sorry-

"Don't." Zack takes a deep breath. His fingers are interlocked and clutched tight enough to make his knuckles white. "Tell me what's wrong, and then we'll both get the things we're sorry for off our chests."

The beginning would be the best place to start - in Castle Oblivion with Namine - but although Vanitas isn't there at the moment, his warning is still stuck in Ven's head. _He wasn't there. He won't understand what it was like_.

But he has to start talking. He has to say something. Ven picks the easiest thing to admit and starts there. "I've been having trouble sleeping."

"Why?" Zack doesn't say it harshly, just firmly enough that Ven knows he's not going to be able to get away with being vague.

Ven shrugs, his shoulders staying up and tense. "My mind...I'm thinking too much and I just...I just can't sleep."

"Thinking about what?"

Ven shrugs again. It's even harder than he expected to put everything in words. All the broken, violent memories that have been keeping him up linger in the back of his mind, fueling his anxiety.

"Come on, Ven" Zack's voice rises slightly before coming back under control. "This isn't talking."

Ven leans over with his elbows on his knees and hides his face in his hands. This shouldn't be this hard. This is Zack. If he wants Zack back - and he has never wanted something so much in his life - he has to suck it up and lay it all out. He just hopes Vanitas is right and he isn't crazy.

Zack breaks the silence to prompt him. "Last night you said you hadn't slept since you got your heart back. Is that true?"

Ven lets his hands drop and sits back up, sneaking a quick glance at Zack. He nods his head.

"At all?" Zack asks.

"At all."

"Shit, Ven." Zack sits back, shocked. "That's…"

"I know," Ven says. He sneaks another glance. Zack is frowning, but he doesn't seem mad

"You've been back for days. That's not a few thoughts keeping you up."

Zack looks at him and Ven looks down at his hands. He almost wishes Zack was mad. He'd been expecting it to go that way. The relief of realizing he was wrong makes his shoulders sag. Zack's prodding will unravel him at this rate, baring all his secrets, if he is not careful.

Shifting closer to Ven, Zack asks, "What's keeping you up?"

Wrapping his arms around himself in an attempt to prevent his unraveling, Ven asks, "What else did I tell you last night? I don't remember much."

Zack took a short pause to think. "You babbled about me being hurt, but you didn't make a lot of sense. Something about the Noise. You know, those monsters from Shibuya. Then…" Zack clears his throat. "Uh, you came onto me pretty strong."

Ven vaguely recalls a clever joke he'd made that had to do with the word _tipsy_ , but he feels his face heat up knowing how embarrassing he must have been. He guesses he draped himself all over Zack, wanting to be close and feel Zack hold him. It's what he's been missing ever since their fight.

Zack's ears are pink and Ven whispers, "I'm sorry." The way he's been treating Zack since he's been back is unfair. Ven knows he truly doesn't deserve him anymore. Lips trembling, Ven asks, "Do you remember going to Shibuya?"

"Of course."

Ven nods. _Of course._ That's how easy memories should be. "Did you get hurt there? Like...really hurt?"

Zack takes another pause to think, then shakes his head. "I got a little banged up, but nothing major," he says. "You almost passed out but - what is it?"

Ven turns away quickly, wiping the tear off his cheek that had managed to escape. "I remember it differently. And I can't stop thinking..." Ven rubs his knuckles back and forth on his legs, unable to control his fidgeting. "I remember you got hurt. Really hurt. I didn't fight off the Noise fast enough. I remember -" Ven takes a deep shuddering breath and looks at Zack. When he can see him, he knows what's real and what's not. Zack touches Ven's wrist, bringing his rubbing, which had turned frantic, to a halt. "You died," Ven says and Zack stares and stares. He has to be thinking it. Crazy.

"That's not what happened," Zack says slowly. He waits like he's expecting Ven to say he's joking, but Ven only looks away, going back to his fidgeting. "What do you mean you remember that?" Zack demands, his voice higher with concern.

"I don't know," Ven says. He hides his face in the crook of his arm, hugging his knees to his chest. "My head is just...I'm so confused."

"I'm here. I didn't die there."

"I know. I know.

"How can your memories be wrong?" Zack asks. "That wrong?"

Ven manages a small shrug. "There's something wrong with me," he whispers.

Zack hand touches the back of Ven's head. He shifts a little closer. "This is all about Castle Oblivion, isn't it? Sora, Riku, and Kairi talked about illusions that were your memories." Ven doesn't respond but leans into Zack's touch, not caring if it's embarrassing how much he needs him. "C'mon, Ven," Zack says. His fingers gently brush through Ven's hair. "Talk to me."

He says it with such caring, the last defenses Ven has unravel. "I woke up in a white room," he begins haltingly. He lifts his head out of his arms and rests his chin on his knuckles. "I didn't know where I was. No one was there. I thought I might be dead." Zack's rhythmic fingers in his hair stuttered. "Destroying the keyblade was supposed to kill us - me." Ven sends a silent apology to Vanitas if he's listening, but he can't let Zack know the two of them are rejoined now. "The only way to go was down through the castle. I went down the stairs and suddenly I was in Shibuya and I didn't know it was an illusion at the time. And you were there, looking just how I remembered you." Ven looks to Zack. "And I watched you die."

"Oh, Ven," Zack says, shifting even closer.

Ven doesn't let him say more. Now that he's started talking he can't stop. "I met her a few floors down. Namine. She pretended to be other people. Vanitas mostly. Keric once. She wanted me to give up. She kept telling me you all were dead." He swallows and takes a steadying breath. "After the Keyblade Graveyard I knew it wasn't real. But then in the Pride Lands, Terra and Aqua." Ven squeezes his eyes shut and he tries to focus on Zack. Zack's hand in his hair. Zack's chest brushing his shoulder. "They didn't make it," is all he can say. "And they were supposed to come save me in Halloween Town, but they never came."

Zack lays his hand over Ven's and squeezes. "It wasn't real. If you can't believe your memories, believe me. They didn't die in the Pride Lands. I didn't die in Shibuya."

Ven laughs because it's either that or start sobbing. He must be crazy if he needs Zack, who is sitting right beside him, to insist he is alive. "You know what's the worst part?" Ven asks. "She twisted my memories so much I watched you die twice. Twice. How fucking illogical is that? Once in Shibuya and then again here after Vanitas…"

Ven sniffs loudly and lets out another hysterical laugh. "You want to know why I'm crazy?" He twists in his seat to face Zack fully. He uses his hand not held by Zack's to cup Zack's face. His voice cracks, saying, "When I'm not sitting here, looking right at you, I believe it. I know it didn't happen, but the alley is always in the back of my mind. With you lying there. Y-y-you were so cold."

Tears cloud Ven's vision. Zack guides him into his arms and Ven latches on, hoping to hold on tight enough to erase the awful image of the alley forever. "Why have you been dealing with this alone?" Zack murmurs into his hair.

Ven almost says he wasn't alone. Almost mentions Vanitas because it seems wrong not to. His story would have gone much differently without Vanitas as part of it. But instead, Ven shrugs and gives up on holding back tears. Sobs caught in his throat give him an excuse not to answer more questions.

It doesn't take long for the tears to exhaust him. His sobs die out and his eyes dry up. Zack's arms stay around him, a gentle hand carding through his hair. He keeps his head pressed into the crook of Zack's neck feeling limp and weak. Maybe he's too tired, but for once, being weak doesn't bother him.

"I sat there with you for so long," Ven says, closing his eyes. "I never had a chance to say good bye."

"Ven," Zack whispers, sounding so sad, so real. It makes Ven shiver. "I didn't die in that alley. You went with Vanitas to save me. And you did say good bye. You told me you loved me. You don't remember that?"

Ven shakes his head again and manages to get out a pitiful, "No," before his throat closes up again.

Tears come slower now and Zack rubs circles on his back. It must be hypnotic or something. Ven can feel himself being pulled towards sleep. Zack shifts, making Ven yawn.

"You tired?" Zack asks.

Ven nods, pulling back to rub his eyes. He can feel sleep gathering in their corners. "This is new to me. I hadn't tried exhausting myself by crying."

"Just with alcohol, huh?" Zack's lips quirk up and Ven laughs. It's the kind of laugh that expels all stress and fear he's kept pent up since returning to Traverse Town.

"And fighting giant heartless," Ven says, still smiling, but Zack stiffens. Ven does the same despite his sleepiness. "Sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up." He waits for Zack to say something. Maybe telling him about Castle Oblivion was too little too late. He'd tried to prepare for Zack telling him they're over officially. But Ven's heart is pounding and he feels tears start to rise again. He's not ready to hear that.

Zack sighs and starts to pull away from Ven. "I'm sorry I'm so protective of you. I can't help it. I get it if you want space."

"No." Ven jerks Zack back against him. "I'm sorry. I wish I could take back everything I said. I want things to be like they used to be. I want us to be like we used to be."

And slowly Zack smiles. He smiles so wide it must hurt. "I want that too."

Relief washes over Ven. "I know I've been difficult but are we okay?"

"Difficult was getting up every day for ten years without you." Zack holds Ven's face between his hands. "We're okay." He brings their lips together in a soft, loving, understanding kiss.

They sit there for a long while simply holding each other, enjoying the way they fit together. Ven's eyelids start to droop and, with a yawn, he says, "I think I will actually fall asleep tonight."

"Yeah?" Zack says.

"Yeah." Ven snuggles closer. "I have a new theory. I don't think falling asleep last night had anything to do with the alcohol."

"Oh? Then what was the magic ingredient?"

"You." Ven traces a swirling pattern on Zack's chest. "Do you mind if I sleep down here tonight?"

"I would love that."

Zack finds Ven the same sweatpants he'd borrowed the first night he came back and a t-shirt. Ven changes in the bathroom and comes out to find Zack already sliding under the covers. Zack pats the bed beside him and Ven joins him.

"Can I ask for one more thing?" Ven asks, rolling on his side to face Zack.

Zack mirrors him. "Name it."

"Well…" Ven can feel blush starting to color his cheeks. "Do you have scars from the alley?"

Zack presses a hand to his chest, rubbing it like it pains him. "Yeah."

"Can I see them?"

Zack gives a strange look, but doesn't ask why. He sits up enough to take his shirt off and then lays back down beside Ven, facing him once more.

Jagged white lines left from Vanitas' keyblade marr Zack's chest. Three in total. Ven reaches out a hand and touches one, feeling like an idiot to have trusted Vanitas.

"You healed me as best you could before you left with him," Zack says quietly. "Aerith said I wouldn't have made it without you."

Ven appreciates that Zack doesn't ask him if he remembers that. Despite the praising way Zack talks about him healing him, Ven stares at Zack's scars feeling guilt threaten to overwhelm him. "I'm sorry," Ven says. Everyone would be better off without him there to suck them into his life. They all get hurt.

"You have nothing to apologize for."

"It's my fault," Ven traces the scar that goes over Zack's left shoulder. "You got hurt protecting me."

"Ven." Zack takes Ven's hand, stopping him from tracing the scars, and makes Ven look at him. "You can blame Vanitas, you can blame Xehanort, you can blame Kingdom Hearts for forcing the responsibility of the X-blade on you, or the whole universe, if you like. But you can't blame yourself." Ven looks down at the bed instead of at Zack, but Zack pulls him closer, making it impossible to avoid the gaze of his beautiful blue eyes. "You did nothing wrong. Nothing. Okay?"

It doesn't make Ven feel less responsible for what happened, but knowing that Zack doesn't blame him lessens his guilt. He nods and Zack starts to pull back, but this time Ven is the one to keep him close and look him in the eye. "You know, you didn't do anything wrong either," Ven says. "You shouldn't blame yourself for what happened to me."

Zack blinks several times and drops his gaze. "I couldn't find you."

"I needed those ten years to heal," Ven says, playing with a lock of Zack hair. "Aqua had to make it so no one could find me during that time. Even you."

"Believe me, I'm going to chew her out for that one when we find her," Zack grumbles and then rolls onto his back, pulling Ven with him so he ends up half on top of him.

Ven lays his head on Zack's shoulder and lets his eyelids shut. It's so pleasant to feel sleep pulling under. He'll never take this feeling for granted again. Zack hand returns to carding through Ven's hair and it makes him sigh. "Thank you for not calling me crazy," he whispers.

Zack hums at that. "Do you remember the last thing you told me before you passed out last night?"

"No," Ven mumbles.

"You told me you love me." There is a hint of teasing in Zack's voice.

Ven groans and nestles closer to Zack. "Drunk me's embarrassing."

"You seem close to passing out again so I wanted to be the one to say it tonight. I love you." Zack kisses forehead. "Every part of you."

"L've you," Ven says, his voice slurred.

"Get some sleep, Ven."

And like that is all he has been waiting for, Ven slept.

...

Roxas hates him. There is no doubt about it. Hates his guts for everything. Because truly everything is Axel's fault. He's like a wrecking ball, tearing through life. Hot-headed. And Roxas is realizing that now, going over every memory they share and coming up with the only conclusion that he hates him. He hasn't come back to the treehouse he doesn't know to tell Axel he doesn't like him anymore.

Axel groans, turning his head to bury his face in his bedroll. "Roxas," he says out loud to feel a little less alone.

"Is this what you do when I leave you alone?"

Axel jerks upright to see Roxas standing in the doorway.

"You sit here, whispering my name by yourself?" The teasing in Roxas voice is light hearted, like the way he used to talk. He's even standing in a way that seems like him. Not with his shoulders hunched against the world.

"Roxas?" Axel asks, getting to his feet. He takes in Roxas drawn face and the way his smile doesn't quite reach his eyes. "How are you feeling?"

Roxas tilts his head at the question. "I remember everything and…" He stops fake smiling looks down at his shoes. "I'm sorry."

Axel waves off the apology and puts both hands on Roxas' shoulders. "But how are you feeling?"

"I-" Roxas rubs a hand over his face. "I want to cry," he says. "I want to, but I can't. It's like…" But there is nothing like it to describe and Roxas can only make a meaningless gestures to sum up how confused he feels.

"Welcome to being a Nobody," Axel says, softly.

Roxas looks at Axel, at a loss of how to react. His eyes search Axel's for answer, but Axel has none to give. With a sigh, Axel pulls Roxas to him and hugs him tight. Roxas buries his face in Axel's chest and clings to him ,shaking.

"It'll be alright," Axel says, dropping his head onto Roxas' shoulders. "I've got you." After a few minutes, Roxas pulls back and Axel can get a better look at him. "You tired?" he asks, tracing the bags under Roxas' eyes. "Or hungry? There's coconut with your name on it if you are."

Roxas makes a face at the last coconut in their stockpile corner. "I remember how much I dislike coconut."

Axel let's out a bark of laughter because it's all just so normal. Like waking up from a nightmare and continuing with your day. Roxas is back to being Roxas. God, he wants to kiss him, but just because Roxas now remembers kissing Axel at Castle Oblivion doesn't mean he wants to again.

"Did you know that tree over there has fruit?" Roxas asks, pulling a star shaped fruit from his pocket.

A paopu fruit. Axel stares, mind racing. He knows the legend of the paopu fruit. If they share it, their destinies will be intertwined forever. There's no way Roxas would know the story. He doesn't know what he's offering Axel and Axel, selfishly, doesn't want to tell him.

Roxas breaks off a piece of the fruit to eat. It's juicy on the inside and drips all over his hand. "It's really good," Roxas says. He holds it out to Axel. "Want to try?"

Axel breaks off a piece of his own, getting the juice all over his hands as well. He doesn't need to tell Roxas. It's a stupid legend anyway.

The paopu fruit is delicious. "Mm," Axel savors it, wondering why they ever bothered eating the coconuts. Roxas gives him a sly smile and Axel swallows. "What? Did I get it on my face?" He asks, wiping his cheeks.

"Yeah," Roxas says, standing up on tip-toe. "Let me get it."

And then Roxas is kissing him. His Roxas is kissing him. His Roxas, who just shared a paopu with him, is kissing him. It's sweet and tastes like the fruit and like Roxas. It takes like heaven. It tastes like home.

* * *

 **So this chapter is about 10,000 words… wtf is wrong with me? ? And it's like 92% dialog? ? Let's just let that terrible writing choice slide**

 **I AM SO SORRY! (general apology for lateness and the fact that this chapter could probably be shortened a lot if I knew how to write emotional conflict)**

 **Anywho. My readers, if you are still with me, you are the true MVP.**

 **micaelaann. cruz, Amestri** **, thanks for reviewing last chapter back when it was june! :)**

 **The adventure continues! Now that mushy gushy, cryfest, hugfest, fluff-fest is over we can get back to hitting people with keyblades. Maybe not next chapter but the action is going to pick back up I swear!**


	22. A Will and a Way

Chapter 22 _A Will and a Way_

Waking up, the first thought Ven has is of Zack. And it comes with a bubble of happiness in his chest making him light with relief. He'd told Zack about his memory problems and the world hasn't ended. There are no padded rooms or other fears Vanitas had put in his head. Best of all, he had slept. Peacefully. Not even a dream had disturbed him all night. Untangling an arm from the comforter twisted underneath him, he reaches out to the other side of the bed, and his hand falls on a piece of paper.

"Zack?" Ven mumbles, rolling over. More awake, he hears the sound of the shower on in the bathroom and Zack singing. Off key and garbled in the water beyond understanding, Ven can't help but grin and laugh to himself. Awake for barely a minute, this morning is still the happiest of his life.

Ven rubs his eyes into focus and unfolds the note. _Good morning, Ven_. It reads in Zack's sweeping cursive. _Had to take a shift with the militia 10-2. Be back after. Love Zack._

The clock on Zack's side of the bed shows it's almost 2:30 in the afternoon. Ven sits up to check the time on the wall clock, not believing he'd slept that long. They'd even gone to bed early the night before.

And if his stomach hadn't chosen that moment to grumble, he might have rolled back over and slept some more.

Breakfast calls in a way it hasn't since Ven's return. Sleep has been the first thing in getting back to normal and eating meals will be the second.

His mind is still fuzzy and disjointed, but that's all in the background, pushed aside by the memory of lying on Zack's chest with whispered 'I love you's' carrying him off to sleep.

He takes the basement steps two at a time and enters the kitchen to find Sora leaning on the counter, too wrapped up in his own thoughts to notice him. Ven bumps Sora's shoulder, making him start, and says, "You're going to hurt yourself thinking that hard." Sora tilts his head in confusion, looking so much like he did as a kid. Ven grins and ruffles Sora's hair, then disappears into the pantry.

"Did you just wake up?" Sora asks, following him.

"Yeah," Ven replied. "Guess I missed breakfast." On the top shelf, behind some boxes of pasta, Ven spots a box of Lucky Charms. "This where Tifa hides these from you?" he asks, climbing on the bottom shelf to reach the box. "Hey, did Riku talk to you last night?"

He climbs back down with it and turns to face Sora who is staring at him like Ven has sprouted another head. "Yeah," Sora says slowly. "He's been having a hard time. Did he mention it to you?"

"Oh yeah. I set him straight. Darkness isn't that bad," Ven says, squeezing past Sora. He turns back. "I hope you forgave him for whatever fight the two of you had."

"Of course," Sora replies still staring at Ven. "So...you're feeling better?" He asks

"I feel great," Ven tells him, taking milk from the fridge. "Really awake. You know?"

"That's great." Sora remains rooted to the same spot while Ven rummages through the kitchen for the biggest bowl he can find. "Did, uh, Zack help you?"

Ven sets a large mixing bowl on the counter. "Yes? How did you..." He trails of, realizing he's still wearing Zack's clothes. "We made up," he says, smiling to himself. Sora nods, ears red.

Thunderous footsteps come down the stairs and Riku and Kairi jump the last few steps into the kitchen. "Hey Ven," Riku says. "Didn't see you come back last night."

There's a hint of a smile on his face that might be teasing, but Ven can't tell. Sora takes a sharp breath, even redder than before, and tries to hustle Riku and Kairi out of the kitchen. "We'll be back soon," he calls over his shoulder.

"Nice pajamas, Ven!" Kairi shouts back.

"Kairi!" Ven hears Sora say and then the bar door swung shut behind as they raced off, undoubtedly up to something.

Fixing his giant bowl of cereal, Ven puts the Lucky Charms and the milk back, grabs a spoon that would normally be used for serving, and heads back to the basement.

Zack has turned the shower off, but the bathroom door is still closed. He's singing much quieter to himself and Ven takes a seat on the bed, cross-legged with his Lucky Charms in his lap, to listen. He digs in enthusiastically, enjoying his new found appetite even more than the rest he'd gotten.

The bathroom door opens, letting a cloud of steam out, and Zack follows, his hair slicked down and a towel wrapped low around his hips. The spoon in Ven's hand freezes halfway between his mouth and the bowl. He'd seen Zack without his shirt when they were younger, but seeing him now, older, is brand new. And he's wrapped that towel so low.

Zack grins, walking slowly towards Ven. "You like what you see?"

"Yeah," Ven says through a mouthful of cereal. He swallows, trying not to blink. "You were very muscle-y back then, but now you're like…" Ven gestures to Zack's chest.

In response, Zack flexes his bicep. "Is the word you're looking for sexy?" he asks, lowering his voice, but the goofy grin on his face ruins the effect.

Zack's more hairy too with a scattered patch high on his chest. Ven peaks lower, trying not to blush. The triangle of hair coming up from beneath Zack's towel definitely wasn't there before.

"Missing ten years might just be worth it to jump for awkward teenagers to this," Ven says, unable to stop his face heating up.

Zack bends down. His hands on the bed on either side of Ven trap him in place. Ven surprised himself by how safe he feels like this, like Zack is surrounding him. Zack's eyes search his face for a moment before shutting and Ven leans forward into the kiss.

When they need air, Zack pulls back and Ven almost upsets the cereal bowl trying to chase him. "Are you feeling better?" Zack asks. "You're eating."

Ven swirls the dregs of his breakfast and nods. "I feel like I woke up a new person."

"You certainly slept long enough to become one," Zack teases. "I couldn't believe when I got back from my shift and you hadn't budged an inch."

"What can I say." Ven scoots to the very edge of the bed and drops the cereal bowl on the floor to get it out of their way. He tucks a loose strand of hair obstructing Zack's face behind his ear. "There's just something about your bed. I could sleep here all day."

"Something about the bed, huh?" Zack lips are inches from Ven's. They both stay close, teasing each other. "That's what you liked about sleeping down here?" He whispers.

Ven's heart beats in his throat, glad beyond description that he hadn't ruined their bond. Parts of him have yet to heal from Namine's torture, but those parts are numbed by Zack's presence. It's addicting, the peace Zack brings him, and Ven wants more.

He lies back, pillowing his head with his hands. "Your mattress is very soft," he says, smiling to let Zack know it's okay.

Zack follows him down, keeping one hand on Ven's hip. "Strange. Last night you didn't say anything about the mattress helping you sleep."

"Well..." Ven runs his fingers through Zack's wet hair, liking the way the limp spikes framed his face. "There may have been one other thing I like about it."

"Is that so?" Zack says. "I know there's something about my bed I _love_ right now."

"Isn't that a coincidence?" Ven whispers and, not able to wait any longer, he pulls Zack against him, joining their lips in a searing kiss.

"Zack can you come up - ah!"

Ven and Zack jump so much, their foreheads knock together. Zack spins around holding his head and Sora, halfway down the basement steps, slaps his hands over his eyes. "Sora!" Zack yells. His towel starts to slips and he grabs it with both hands. "What are you doing?"

"I'm sorry!" Sora says. He fumbles blindly for the railing. "We're having a meeting about the Organization. I didn't know!"

"Well get out!" Zack says, still fighting with his towel. Not needing to be told twice, Sora runs back up the stairs, slamming the door shut behind him. "You'd think at fifteen he would know how to knock," he grumbles.

Zack turns back around, finally securing a towel and Ven presses a hand over his mouth. A single giggle breaks out. "Did you see his face?" Ven manages to ask and then breaks down completely, laughing so hard tears collect in the corners of his eyes. "And then you almost dropped your towel. And-" Ven clutches his sides, sitting up to face Zack who doesn't look anywhere near as amused. "Oh come on," Ven says poking him in the stomach. "That was hilarious."

"If he tells anyone I swear to god…" Zack mutters.

Ven stands to wrap his arms around Zack. "It's not like there was really anything to tell," he says, toying with the edge of the towel.

"I hate him for that too," Zack grumbles and kisses Ven. "I vote we don't go up and see what he wants."

"You want him to come down again?" Ven extracts himself from Zack's hold and picks up his clothes neatly folded on the couch. "Get dressed," he says, going into the bathroom to change. He pokes his head back out to add, "Or go up in just the towel. I'd vote for that."

…

Three minutes later, fully dressed, Ven and Zack enter the bar to find the tables pulled together in long row with chairs crammed around it. Master Amiddon looks to be in charge, sitting at the head of the table with Ryla and Mickey on either side of her. Sora, Riku, and Kairi sit together next to Mickey. Donald, Goofy, and the rest of the Traverse Town gang fills the table, each with varying degrees of suspicion and apprehension on their face.

Everyone looks at Ven and Zack as they enter and there are more than a few smirks in their direction. TIfa positively beams. Ven wonders if Sora told them what he'd walked in on, but then he notices the gentle touch of Zack's hand on the small of his back and blushes, realizing that's what they're all looking at.

Cid stands abruptly and reaches across the table to Marlene. "Three days!" he says. "Pay up, little lady."

Marlene scowls and digs into her pocket. "You couldn't stay stubborn for two more days?" she asks, throwing a dirty look in Zack's direction.

"You bet on us getting back together?" Zack asks. He pulls back the chair at the foot of the table for Ven and takes the one on his right for himself.

Marlene hands Cid a large token the ice cream shop in town uses and says, "At least we both bet you would."

Master Amiddon clears her throat and gives the room a moment to settle down. "This meeting has been called at the request of Sora, Riku, and Kairi to inform all of you of our plan going forward in the search of Terra, Aqua, and Eraqus." Amiddon takes a breath. "Their fate, we believe, is tied to the events that transpired in the world formerly known as Radiant Garden. It is the birthplace of Organization XIII whose arrival came much too close to Aqua and Xehanort's disappearances to be a coincidence."

The reminder that he has done nothing to help find his lost friends extinguishes Ven's happiness with today. While he wasted time wallowing in his misery this Master Amiddon, who he didn't even know, has led the charge without him even being kept in the loop.

"We have tracked the Organization through the worlds," Ryla says. "They destroy everything in their path. Entire worlds, for no reason. They need to be cut down."

"They have shown they are after the X-blade," Amiddon says, with a nod to Ven. "Their leader, we believe, is Xehanort in Nobody form, seeking to continue what he started years ago."

Amiddon's words fall like bricks on Ven's shoulders. Xehanort. Of course it's Xehanort. Namine's manipulations had been under his orders to break him so he couldn't say no to creating the X-blade. Ven shivers, realizing just how lucky he is to have gotten out of Castle Oblivion alive.

"The Organization has always held power in its numbers," Amiddon continued. "Twelve powerful Nobodies with Roxas being a recent addition. Yet their numbers have dropped suddenly. Two Nobodies were destroyed in Castle Oblivion, but recent surveillance has shown their numbers to be down by nearly half. Xehanort's nobody will soon find a way to replenish his Organization. We need to act fast. That is why the six of us will leave tonight."

Zack shoots a look at Ven. Ven tries to keep the shame of not being able to help off his face, but Zack takes his hand and he knows he didn't do a very good job.

"Six?" Tifa questions. The way Sora, Riku, and Kairi tense does not go unnoticed.

Leon sits up straighter in his chair. "You want the children to go with you?"

"Absolutely not," Cloud says, voice rising in a way it never does.

"Cloud-" Sora starts to say, but Cloud cuts him off.

"If you need fighters, this town is full of some of the best," he says through gritted teeth. Standing, he leans over the table looking downright dangerous.

"We're keyblade wielders," Kairi says, facing Cloud's withering stare without backing down. "We're young, but we can do it."

"We're not going to debate this," Cloud all but growls. Next to him, Tifa covers her mouth, looking stricken.

"If we had other options-" Master Amiddon starts to say, but Cloud doesn't let her finish.

"Haven't they been through enough?" He demands. "They've been kidnapped, imprisoned. They fought this Organization and barely got away. You're not going to send them back into battle."

"We want to go," Sora says, crossing his arms defiantly.

The whole table erupts in the argument, except for Marlene who looks knowingly at Riku. Zack also keep silent and Ven is hesitant to speak up. He can see now the family Sora, Riku, and Kairi built here. Not just Tifa and Cloud, but the whole group. None of them want the kids to go and having not been around the last ten years, Ven's not sure it's his place to say otherwise.

Saddened by the thought, Ven stands to excuse himself. He needs some space for a moment and his stomach feels like it's chewing on itself in hunger. The giant bowl of Lucky Charms hadn't filled him up.

Zack starts to get up too, his eyebrows raised in a question, but Ven gestures for him to sit. He'll come back.

Rummaging through the kitchen, Ven thinks about what Master Eraqus would do. Sora, Riku, and Kairi were the same age he was when he joined MEKA and he knew how Master Eraqus had tried to shelter him because of his age. Ven sighs. For the second time in as many days, he is going to stand up as a role model to the kids and tell them the exact opposite of lessons Master Eraqus had taught.

Moving as slowly as he could through the kitchen, Ven forces himself to return to the bar. He carries a double decker sandwich and chips on a plate in one hand, a tub of macaroni salad he found in the fridge in the other, and the biggest orange in the house tucked in the crook of his elbow. It's only once he is sitting down he notices the bar has fallen silent.

He's met with stunned expressions except for Zack who grins broadly and steals a chip.

"You're eating again," Tifa says softly.

"Yeah," Ven says, feeling self conscious with everyone's eyes on him. Looking at all of them, his gaze falls on Sora, Riku, and Kairi, the three of them looking positively delighted to see him hungry. Ven wishes he could be like Master Eraqus and try to protect them from everything. But he's not strong enough to take their place and keeping them in Traverse Town will only delay the fight.

He clears his throat, his mouth dry. "I have something I want to say," he says and takes a bite of his sandwich. No one says a word, waiting while he swallows. "Since I was a kid, Master Eraqus did a lot to keep me sheltered from my fate as the X-blade wielder," Ven said quietly. "I was young and inexperienced and it's understandable he would want to keep me away from the fight. It's what fathers do." Ven looks straight at Cloud finding his expression unreadable. The way Cloud and Sora can butt heads reminds him a lot of himself and Master Eraqus.

"But he couldn't control everything," Ven continued. "Xehanort still dragged me into the fight. Not even the walls of MEKA could keep a darkness like Xehanort out forever." Ven pauses. The image of Xehanort's sneering face fills his mind. Children shouldn't have to fight in such a battle, but they're in desperate times. Keyblade wielders must put duty before all else.

Ven raises his eyes to meet the gazes of Sora, Riku, and Kairi. He thinks of Aqua, Terra. Would they be horrified to know he's sending the three little kids that used to run around their home, so innocent and carefree, into battle while he, Ven, cowers helpless? "I wish I could say it was best for you to stay here and stay kids," he says. "But truthfully, here isn't safe. Xehanort has already found you here. Hiding will never win this fight." Ven sighs and rubs his temples. "I'm not going to hide anymore either."

"You're going to come with us?" Riku asks, surprised but hopeful.

Zack jumps like he's been shocked and leans over the table. "Hold on-"

Ven touches Zack's arm. "I know I'm not ready for a fight like that," he says and Zack relaxes back into his seat. Ven can feel the stillness of the room with everyone holding their breath to hear what he has to say. It's unnerving, facing them all alone. He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out and he wishes Vanitas was beside him.

Ven starts to shake his head and pull away from the table, but Zack catches his hand. Their fingers intertwine and a simple look that passes between them sets all Ven's fears aside. "The truth is…" He begins haltingly. He forces himself to look from to Zack to the rest of the table. They all deserve an explanation. "Namine did a lot to me that you didn't see," he says. "I'm sorry I've been so…withdrawn."

"You don't need to apologize," Sora says. Everyone nods in earnest.

"It feels like she's still in my head," Ven continues, rubbing his temple. "Rooting through my memories. Because of what she did, I don't remember things right." He sighs and squeezes Zack's hand tighter. "I could know what happened to Terra and Aqua and Master Eraqus buried in some memory, but I can't remember. I want to help find them, but I'm just…" He gestures to his head and trails off, not knowing how to explain how useless he is.

In the quiet that follows, Ven ducks his head, playing with the fork in the macaroni salad but no longer eating. None of them know what to say. If it hadn't been for Zack tracing circles on the back of his hand, he would have fled the room.

"Aha!" Mickey says, startling everyone. "Ven, did Namine change your memories, not just make illusions out of them?"

"Y-yes," Ven stutters. He hadn't want to admit that, but somehow Mickey had guessed. "How did you know?"

"She's a witch," Amiddon says, understanding dawning on her like it had with Mickey. It doesn't mean anything to anyone else who all stare at Ven with varying amounts of pity for him. "That's a very advanced form of magic," Amiddon continues. "I don't know much about memory manipulation."

"Neither do I," Mickey says, frowning.

"Is there a cure?" Ven asks. The looks on Mickey and Master Amiddon's faces don't make him hopeful.

Ven tries to take a calming breath. He tries not to retreat into himself. Out of the corner of his eyes he catches a glimpse. Vanitas. Watching from the corner of the room. In the blink of an eye, he's gone.

"What did she change about your memories?" Master Amiddon asks.

Ven wipes the back of his hand over his eyes, doing his best to be discreet about it. "She made me see… just bad things. She wanted me to think I was alone. And no one would ever come find me." Zack covers Ven's hand with both of his. Ven's other hand shakes and Ven grips onto Zack's arm to stop it.

Murmurs of regret and whispers that they are here for Ven come from everyone. Zack clears his throat, blinking fast, and asks Master Amiddon, "How did this witch get into the Organization? Where did she come from?"

"She would have to be the nobody of someone who already has powerful magic," Amiddon replies.

At the same time, Sora and Riku both say, "Kairi."

All eyes turn to Kairi who's face approaches the color of her hair. "She didn't look that much like me," she says. She crosses her arms and mutters, "Blond bitch."

"Kairi," Tifa scolds.

"Witch. I said witch."

Ven manages a weak laugh. "She was a bitch."

The three kids laughs too and the somber feeling in the room lessens.

"Gosh, Ven. I wish I knew how to help you," Mickey says. He taps his chin and adds, "Maybe you should go see Master Yen Sid. He might know more."

"You think?" Ven perks up. He hadn't thought of Master Yen Sid. He might not know more than Mickey and Master Amiddon, but he'll take even the slimmest of chances at the moment. "I'll go see him."

"If we find the witch, we'll get some answers for you," Kairi says, feigning punches at an imaginary Namine.

"If we let you go," Cloud interjects.

"Oh come on, Cloud," Sora whines. "Ven thinks we should go."

Tifa speaks before Cloud can, arguing, "If Ven is going to see Master Yen Sid for information, you should wait to go after the Organization until he gets back."

"No!" Ryla stands so fast, she knocks her chair over.

"Ryla-" Master Amiddon starts to say, but her apprentice speaks over her.

"No," Ryla repeats, her voice wavering with emotion this time. "No more delays. Do you people even know what the Organization has done? How many worlds they have destroyed?" Her eyes search the silent group, angry. "They've killed families, children. Years they've been around and no one's stopped them. No more delays." She takes a breath and strains to talk in a more reasonable voice. "There are still seven of them. We need all the keyblade wielders we can get." Ryla knuckles turn white on the edge of the table. She looks at Tifa and Cloud. "Your worrying and hand wringing is going to get more people killed."

A collective gasp comes from the table. Master Amiddon steeples her hands. "Ryla, take a walk," she says in a low voice.

"You can't side with them!"

"Now," Master Amiddon commands, her voice dangerous.

The two lock eyes for a long moment, Ryla growing angrier with every second, and then she storms out of the bar without a look back.

"I'm very sorry about her behavior," Master Amiddon says. Yuffie rises from her seat and follows after Ryla without a word. "Her family and her homeworld were victims of the Organization," Master Amiddon explains. "She has trouble staying objective when it comes to them."

"Understandably," Cloud says quietly. He drags a hand over his face and looks at Tifa. "Like I said before, this town is full of some of the best fighters." He sighs. "If you want the kids to go, you get us too."

"Really?" Sora asks, excited.

Tifa nods to Cloud. "Yes," Cloud says. "Really."

Kairi leaps up and hugs them both tight. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" She says and Sora and Riku echo her.

"Any other objections?" Master Amiddon and everyone, some more grudgingly than others, all shake their heads no. "Good. Who all is able?"

Leon raises a finger. "I am."

"Me too," Donald says, already getting his staff out.

Beside him, Goofy says, "Me three."

"Count me in," Cid says. "Been awhile since my last good tussle."

"That's because you're not a fighter," Yuffie says, standing with a still angry Ryla in the doorway of the bar. "What are you gonna do, annoy them to death?" She turns to Master Amiddon. "I'm totally in though."

"Think rockets, missy," Cid says to Yuffie, pulling his toothpick out of his mouth to point it at her. "Got a whole new bank of close world combat firepower in the new and improved Gummi Ship. Calling it Gummi Ship II."

"Hmph. Creative," Yuffie says, returning to her seat.

"I think I will accompany Cid on the ship," Aerith says. "You may need a healer."

"Or two," Marlene adds.

Riku jerks up from his slouched position at that. "I don't think-"

"Mom, can I go?" Marlene asks over him.

Aerith considers for a moment. "As long as you stay on the ship with Cid, yes."

"Yes!" Marlene says, pumping a fist in the air. She sticks her tongue out at Riku and high fives Cid across the table.

"What about you, Zack?" Tifa asks.

All eyes turn to Zack, but he leans in to whisper in to Ven, "Do you need to figure this out alone or do you want me to come with you?"

Ven smiles at him. "Come with me," he says quietly.

Zack grins back. "I'm gonna go with Ven," he says. "Think you all can manage without me?"

"Wouldn't be much for you to do anyway, Zack," Cid says, standing. "Black coats gonna be expecting foot soldiers, but you know what they won't be expecting?"Cid points at Ven to answer.

"Um…" Ven hesitates and Cid visibly deflates. "Rockets?"

Cid slaps the table, grinning like it's Christmas. "Rockets!"

…

The group decides to spend the day planning strategy and attack the World That Never Was first thing in the morning. Ven spends some time teaching Sora, Riku, and Kairi a few new abilities the three had been too young to learn at MEKA, knowing it's the least he can do to help them in the upcoming battle, but he's anxious to talk to Yen Sid and after dinner he can't wait anymore.

Leaving Sora, Riku, and Kairi to rest up with healthy cups of elixir, Ven sneaks up behind Zack who's pouring over rough sketch drawings of the Organization's castle with Leon and Cid.

"Hey," Ven whispers in his ear, making Zack jump and turn to face him. "Do you still have your old helmet?"

"I think so," Zack says, raising an eyebrow. "You want to go?"

"Yeah. I want to help here but…" Ven trails off feeling a bit selfish, but Yen Sid is his last hope. He needs to know now if he can be fixed.

"Go," Cloud says. "We have everything under control."

Zack claps him on the shoulder in thanks. "Riku should have it. I'll go ask him," he says to Ven.

"Okay. Meet me outside."

Ven heads out of the bar while Zack heads over to the three sprawled around one of the tables., Seeing him coming over, Kairi waves him over to her. "What's up?" He asks and she gestures him closer. "What?" He asks again.

Kairi loudly says, "Waiting until you're forty, right Zack?"

"Ow," Zack says, holding his ear. "Shut up." He shoves her and she slaps his hand away laughing.

"What's so funny?" Sora asks, looking between the two of them.

Kairi only smirks, settling back in her chair, content to have embarrassed him. Deciding two can play at this game, Zack says, "Sora, you know that blue alien action figure thing you have? With the weird name?"

"Parmesan?" Sora says with such seriousness Riku has to hold his nose to hold in a laugh.

"Yeah, right. That." Zack turns to Kairi whose smirk fades to a pleading look. "Did Kairi ever tell you about the time she-"

"Nope!" Kairi hits Zack in the stomach. "I take it back. I take back everything I ever said about you. Or about you and Ven."

"Good," Zack says, walking away.

"Not good!" Sora says. "What was he talking about Kairi?"

Laughing in triumphant at Kairi's embarrassed expression, Zack asks Riku for his helmet and goes outside, feeling Kairi's glare burning holes in his back. But his amusement is gone the moment he realizes Ven isn't waiting outside like he'd expected.

"Ven?" He calls, trying to swallow the growing fear that it's happening again. His heart is pounding, but his feet are rooted to the spot. "Ven, come out. You're scaring me."

Something pokes the top of Zack's head and he looks up. Ven floats above him, sitting on his keyblade glider in his armor. "I was going to scare you, but I haven't done anything." He stands and directs his glider down beside Zack. "What's wrong?"

Flushing a bit from overreacting, Zack quickly says, "Nothing. I'm sorry. I just didn't know where you were."

Ven hops off his glider and removes his helmet. "Sorry," he says, but Zack waves off the apology.

The bar door opens and Riku comes out holding Zack's helmet with Sora and Kairi following behind. "Here you go," he says, tossing it to Zack.

"Man, this is even cooler than I remember," Sora says, poking at Ven's armor. "Wish we had armor."

Ven hands him his helmet to check out. "I'll ask Master Yen Sid to make you some."

"Really?" Sora asks, excited. "Our very own?"

"Of course. I'm sure he'll-"

Sora throws his arms around Ven and hugs him tight. Surprised, Ven staggers off balance, but manages to stay upright and return the hug, doing his best to keep his armor from poking Sora too much. "It means so much to have you back, you know," Sora says. "Being without you all...I don't know how to describe…"

Ven pats Sora's back and whispers, "I know."

Kairi and Riku come up behind him and hug him too. "We're always here for you no matter what," Kairi says.

Looking over Sora's shoulder, Ven sees Zack mouth to him, "Me too."

"Thank you," Ven says and with the three of them there, he knows even without MEKA, he's made it home.

They stay like that for a long minute, simply being there for each other. It's nice and Ven would be lying if he said he didn't get teary-eyed thinking of the great people those silly little kids had grown up to be. Then Sora whispers in a fake deep voice, "What happened to Parmesan?"

Riku cracks up and steps back, covering his mouth in an unsuccessful attempt to stop laughing. Sora releases Ven to turn to Kairi expectantly who turns to Zack herself to flip him off.

"Come on, Kairi," Zack says, laughing. He holds his arms out to her. "Do I get a goodbye hug too?"

For a second, Kairi stares him down, then she grabs Sora by the front of his jacket, pulling him to her in a fierce kiss. It's intense enough to make everyone else uncomfortable and when she lets Sora go, he's left swaying.

"Now do you still care about that toy?" She asks him.

Sora takes a moment getting his brain working again. "No," he says with a blissful look and Kairi throws a smirk in Zack's direction.

"What is happening?" Ven asks under his breath, but decides he is better off not knowing.

With quick good bye's to the rest of the Traverse Town gang, Ven gets on his glider and Zack climbs on behind him. "Ready?" Ven asks over his shoulder.

With the helmet on, Zack looked identical to how he had looked when they first met. "Ready when you are," Zack says.

Grinning, the only warning Ven gives is a quick, "Hold on," before he speeds around the First District like a madman for the feeling of Zack holding on to him and shoots out into space with hope that has been a long time coming.

* * *

 **So...it's been three months (yikes)...but who's counting, right?**

 **Certainly not me**

 **JumbledPixels your review gave me the kick in the butt I needed to get back into this story. Thank you so much for taking the time to write such a nice review. I really do intend to finish this story. I just lose track of how long I've been procrastinating it sometimes.**

 **Amestri,** **micaelaann. cruz, I'm glad you liked last chapter, hopefully you like this very very late chapter too**

 **Okay! Hopefully I will do a I much better job of getting the next chapter out reasonably fast. It's all about Ven and Zack's adventures (and maybe a little Vani too :P ) so I'm way more excited about it than this transition chapter.**

 **Lots and lots of action to come I promise so stick around next time to see what Master Yen Sid can tell Ven about Namine.**

 **\- but if you're wondering what happened to Parmesan, sadly, the world will never know-**


	23. The Cure

Chapter 23 _The Cure_

Knocking on the door of Master Yen Sid's study, an overwhelming feeling of nostalgia sweeps over Ven. He can picture the last time he was here with his lost friends. Terra and Aqua's success in the Mark of Mastery test had been such a happy occasion.

Ven hears Master Yen Sid call for them to enter, but he can't move. How can he do this without them?

Zack touches the small of his back, reminding Ven he's there, and reaches around him to open the door.

Inside, Yen Sid looks up from a book on his desk and stands. "Ventus," he says smiling more than Ven has ever seen him before. "I felt the change in the universe when you awoke, but seeing you here is a relief to the heart."

"I'm very glad to be back, sir," Ven says, though it's a little surreal to think his awakening and affected the universe enough it could be felt.

"Come sit." Yen Sid gestures to the two chairs in front of his desk and sits himself once Ven and Zack take a seat. "What brings you here?" He asks, then adds, "If you are hoping to learn the fate of your friends, I am sorry. I do not know more than I have already told Zachary."

"Yes, I know. He's told me." Ven shoots Zack a look because Zachary? Really? It just sounded wrong. "I was actually hoping you could help me with a different problem," Ven says, focusing back on Master Yen Sid. "You see I…I don't remember things right. There was this girl. A witch. She did something to my memories."

For a long moment, Yen Sid simply stares at him, deep in thought and frowning. Ven shifts in his chair, trying not to look afraid of what the old Master will say.

With sudden haste, Master Yen Sid stands and comes around his desk. He bends to put one hand on Ven's shoulder and hovers his other hand over Ven's heart. "May I?" Yen Sid asks.

Remembering the time Ansem the Wise looked into his heart, Ven knows to expect the slight shock of Yen Sid looking into his heart. He takes a deep breath to steel himself and nods.

Master Yen Sid's hand presses against his chest and the shock jolts through Ven. All at once the smell of blood hits him. It's in a puddle on the street and painting Zack's hand, lifeless like his blue eyes. Ven retches.

It's Aqua, face down in the dirt. She rolls over and it's Terra. Arm mangled. A broken finger pointing at Ven.

Hands grab him from behind. So many of them. Namine's there for a second, watching with satisfaction in her cold eyes. Hands cover his mouth and his eyes. They plug his ears and he turns numb as they drag him away.

He can feel every wall though he can't see them and they're closing in.

He can't breathe. He has to get out, get away. Ven pounds on the wall and uses the air he has left to scream, "Vanitas!"

He's falling. His eyes fly open in time to hit the floor, back first. The chair caught underneath him jabs into his ribs and he grunts in pain.

Zack's at his side in an instant. Alive. Ven can see his jaw twitching, but there are no words. Zack pulls Ven to him, resting their foreheads together and holds Ven, letting him dig his fingers into Zack's shoulders for something real to hold on to.

"I am sorry. I didn't realize how strong the memories she implanted in you were," Master Yen Sid says quietly. The old man leans wearily against his desk, a hand on his own chest.

"Did I…?" Ven asks, realizing it hadn't been a wall he'd been pounding on.

Master Yen Sid waves off Ven's coming apology. He returns to his chair behind his desk and steeples his hands. "I expect you are having trouble remembering true memories through the layer of false ones."

Ven gets to his feet. "Can you fix it?"

Yen Sid drops his gaze to his hands. Ven can't move though. Even when Zack rights Ven's chair and tries to guide him back into it, he resists, remaining rigid. "Please," Ven begs. "What if I know what happened to the others but I can't remember? I need you to fix it."

"Ventus." Master Yen Sid's voice is grave. "I can't promise anything, but there is one way -"

"Do it," Ven says, not caring what it is.

Yen Sid's mouth become a thin, worried line and he gestures for Ven to sit. Ven drops into his chair and sits all the way forward, hands on Yen Sid's desk. "I can't do it," Master Yen Sid says. "Only you can."

Slowly, guessing where this is going, Ven sits back. "I can't fight her," he says, looking away. "I never beat her."

"This is not the witch, Ventus. This is her magic," Master Yen Sid says. "All of it is a powerful illusion. You only need to see through it."

"I never could!" Ven shouts without meaning to. Beside him, Zack jumps at the outburst and lays a hesitant hand on Ven's shoulder

Yen Sid doesn't flinch. In the same level voice, he asks, "Then how are you here?"

Ven shrugs, knocking off Zack's hand, and gets up. He looks out the tower's star shaped window at the sky. He's withdrawing again and he knows it. But what can he do? No one will believe Vanitas is Sid always said the darker half of his heart would bring an evil change to the world, and Zack…

"Why can't you do a spell and fix it?" Ven asks, keeping his back to Yen Sid and Zack.

"The witch's magic broke the chains of your memories and added her own links," Yen Sid replied. "I can break the chains again, but only you can set them right."

Out of habit, Ven looks around him. This should be the moment Vanitas steps up and tells Ven not to worry. Vanitas would be able to do this. But he's nowhere to be found. Sulking in some deep corner of Ven's heart, probably mocking him for being so afraid. So weak.

"And there is one other part of this, Ventus," Master Yen Sid says. Ven turns to face him, steeling himself for more bad news. "The only reason Namine was able to infiltrate your memories was because you're heart was already sleeping, leaving your mind vulnerable. For me to break the chains, I must first put your heart to sleep once more."

"No." Zack's expression darkens and he puts himself between Ven and Yen Sid. "No. There has to be another way."

Master Yen Sid looks past Zack and says to Ven, "I assure you it is perfectly safe."

That should make Ven feel better, but it doesn't. Freeing his memories could help find Terra, Aqua, and Master Eraqus. It shouldn't matter if it's safe.

"We can find a different way," Zack says. He steps forward, taking both of Ven's hands in his.

Ven can hear the worry in his voice and feel it in the slight tremble of his hands. He loves Zack and he can be vulnerable around him, as Zack can be with him, but this is not a time for smothering. Placating promises of an easier way aren't the answer.

What happened to the Ven who dared to run away from Carinol with strangers? Who didn't shy away from the fight? He'd fought heartless and mythical monsters. Stood strong with his friends instead of sending them into a fight without him. He'd made mistakes back then and gotten hurt, but at least he hadn't been afraid to try. He'd fought countless times for stangers, freed his friends from Keric, and turned himself over to Vanitas to save Zack. What had happened to the boy ready to die to keep the X-blade from Xehanort?

Where along the path had he lost what it meant to be a keyblade wielder?

"Ven-" Zack starts to say, but Ven cuts him off.

"I'll do it," he says, looking Zack right in the eye. This is his fight. He can't afford to cower any longer.

Zack says nothing. His grip on Ven's hands tighten. It hurts Ven's heart, but he looks away. This is who he is and somewhere deep inside, Zack knows it.

"What do I need to do?" Ven asks quietly.

Master Yen Sid stands with a gesture for them to follow him and opens double doors to the side room off his office. He points Ven to a day bed in the corner. "The sleeping spell will last through the night," he says.

Ven gets comfortable while Master Yen Sid goes back into his study for the spellbook. Zack sits on the edge of the bed and Ven touches his leg. "You alright?" He asks.

"I hate that you have to do this alone," Zack says.

"I know." Ven swallows his own nerves and tries to smile. "I love you."

"I love you too." Zack bends down and gives him a soft kiss. "Promise me you'll be careful," he murmurs.

"I'm always careful," Ven says.

It makes Zack laugh. "No, you really aren't."

Master Yen Sid returns with an old book with yellowed pages. He flips through it for a second before finding the right spell. "Are you ready, Ventus?" He asks and Ven nods. "Zachary, I need you to step back."

Ven squeezes Zack's hand briefly and nods for him to stand. With frown lines creasing his forehead, Zack unhappily leaves Ven's side and stands behind Yen Sid.

Consulting the book, Master Yen Sid mutters the spell to himself and a pink aura of magic forms in his hand. Handing off the book to Zack, Yen Sid leans over Ven, hovering the magic over his heart.

It tingles and itches, but only for a second. Then everything drifts far away, pink and hazy. Yen Sid's voice sounds like an echo. "Sleep."

...

It's a familiar fall down to his heart. Looking down on it from above, Ven can see that he is alone in the stained glass picture. But his heart is not empty. Vanitas kneels in the middle, head bowed. Landing softly, Ven realizes, with a twinge of apprehension, that Vanitas is wearing the red and black bodysuit he wore years ago and the glossy black hid his face.

"Vanitas?" Ven asks, unsure if this is a cruel joke from his other half. They hadn't left things on the best of terms at the bell tower. "It's not funny, dressing like that," Ven adds. He steps closer, but Vanitas doesn't move, not even a twitch as Ven crouches down in front of him.

Ven stares at his own reflection in the mask and sees a frightened version of himself. A mere boy.

"Vanitas," Ven whispers. He can't be frightened anymore. It's time for him to stop waiting on others to save him, they will only get hurt protecting him. Still, gripping the mask's chin, he silently chants Vanitas name, hoping not to have to face the other option.

He pulls and the mask comes off easily. Blond hair tumbles out.

Namine's big blue eyes blink at him. She sits up straighter with a predatory grin. "Hello, Ven."

Vanitas' mask hits the stained glass platform with a dull thud. Master Yen Sid had said he had to defeat her magic, not her. "Why are you tormenting me?" Ven asks.

"I'm not tormenting you," Namine says, sweet as poison. "I'm showing you the truth. You know what happens to people who get close to you."

Her voice echoes in his heart like it did in Castle Oblivion. She's trying to trap him again. Again, and again, and again. When will it stop?

Ven's keyblade appears in his hand, but it isn't Wayward Wind. It's Void Gear, Vanitas keyblade. Ven stares at it, confused, but then he feels the hard pit in his stomach, the burning fire in his veins. He's angry. It's been so long since he last felt hate he has forgotten what it is like to be full of rage.

With a shout like a howl, Ven lashes out at Namine, Void Gear flying in a vicious arc. She rolls to the side and onto her feet. She puts her hands out. She's the frightened one now.

"It all started with Tay," Namine says. Her voice lacks the magic it used to have. "You think I changed your memories, but you know I didn't have to touch that one."

Ven lunges forward, making Namine scurry back. He raises his keyblade, but Namine claps her hands and the wisp of magic that comes out solidifies in front of Ven. It's Tay.

It's an illusion. "You're not real," Ven whispers. It hurts to say, but he can't hold onto the past. With a heavy hand, he reaches out to touch the illusion and the barest brush of his fingers makes it crumple. It falls to the floor, no longer Tay. Only a crayon colored paper doll, limp and lifeless, left behind.

Namine does it over and over again. Terra, Aqua, Master Eraqus, Zack. She throws up illusions of Sora, Riku, and Kairi as the kids they were and the teenagers they are. Ven touches each of them. Each one collapses at his touch to reveal themselves as paper dolls.

And when at last he is facing Vanitas as his younger self once more, there is no trace of a frightened child in Ven's reflection. He sees himself as he should be, blazing eyes and confident.

He reaches out to touch the illusion's chest, but it doesn't lose shape like the others. Namine's twisted laugh comes from under the mask, a Void Gear like the one in Ven's hands comes down at him.

Ven stabs forward, through Namine's chest. Her keyblade vanishes inches from his neck. The mask falls off and the bodysuit changes into her dress. Ven pulls his keyblade out and she gapes at him with a frozen look of surprise.

Namine unravels like a yarn doll made of her wisps of magic. At her core is a white ball of light, burning brighter and brighter. And all the cut out crayon drawings melt in the heat.

The light gets so bright Ven has to cover his eyes, and then all of a sudden it's gone. Ven looks around, blinking. He can feel that she's truly gone. His memories are his and his alone now.

Feeling at peace in the dark silence of his heart, Ven settles there to reconnect the chains and take back control of his life.

…

"It's time to wake up, Ven." Zack's voice is soft. It comes from far off, but Ven feels Zack shaking his shoulder, pulling him out of the deep sleep.

It's bright with the sunrise in the room. It takes him a moment to recognize the room. Master Yen Sid's tower. The sleeping spell. His fight with Namine in his heart feels faded and unreal like a dream. But his mind is clear now and all his memories have straightened themselves out.

Zack pushes Ven's hair behind his ear. "How are you feeling?"

Ven turns his head to him, sitting in a chair beside the daybed. Zack has new circle under his eyes and Ven sighs quietly, knowing he shouldn't be surprised Zack stayed awake to watch over him through the night.

"Ven?" Ven blinks, realizing he'd been staring without a word. "Did it work?" Zack asks, his forehead creasing in worry.

Nodding, Ven pushes himself up and slides over to sit on the edge of the bed. "I beat her," he says.

"That's great," Zack says, smiling. But Ven isn't and Zack notices. "Isn't it?"

"I still don't remember anything helpful," Ven admits in a whisper. Each word tastes bitter. This was his chance to save his friends and, memories or not, he's still failed to be the hero.

"I do."

Ven's head jerks to the corner of the room where Vanitas, older as he should and without the mask, stands among the shadows. His face is pale and his eyes grave. He nervously licks his lips. "We need to talk."

* * *

 **Amestri,** **micaelaann. Cruz,** **RoseShine 76** **, and** **JumbledPixels:** **Thank you all for your reviews! I'm loving writing happy Ven and Zack for you again instead of that angsty stuff**

 **Next chapter features Vani (HELL. YEAH.) and the battle against the Organization begins. DUN DUN DUN**


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